Top Ten Best Laffy Taffy Jokes

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The Top Ten

1 What doesn't get wet when it rains? The ocean.
2 What did the digital clock say to its mom? Look Mom, no hands.
3 How does a farmer mend his plants? With a cabbage patch.
4 What is a caterpillar afraid of? A dogerpillar.
5 How do mules open locked barns? With don-keys.

But mules and donkeys are different animals. Mules are a result of breeding a donkey and a horse, and they cannot reproduce. - Merilille

6 Why did the sun go to school? It wanted to be brighter.
7 Why did the little mouse run away from home? Because his father was a rat.
8 What does a pig write with? An oink pen.
9 Why did the children all eat their homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake.
10 What did one autumn leaf say to another? I'm falling for you!

The Contenders

11 What type of witch makes the best lunch? A sand-witch.
12 Knock knock-who's there? Boo, boo who? Why are you crying?
13 What is a vampire's favorite drink? A bloody Mary!
14 What do you call a cold puppy sitting on a rabbit? A chilly dog on a bun!
15 How do you double your money? Fold it.
16 Why did the mouse sleep under the oil can? So he wouldn't squeek in the morning!
17 How many vampires does it take to put in a light bulb? None. Vampires like the dark.
18 What is the best way to keep water from running? Don’t pay the water bill.
19 Why did the strawberry cross the road? Because his mother was in a jam.
20 What’s green and sings? "Elvis Parsley!!"
21 Is it OK to sleep on a full stomach? I prefer sleeping on a bed.
22 What is a vampire’s favorite food? Neck-tarines!
23 Why did the ghost join the team? Because they needed spirit.
24 Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.
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Top Remixes

1. What doesn't get wet when it rains? The ocean.
2. What did the digital clock say to its mom? Look Mom, no hands.
3. How does a farmer mend his plants? With a cabbage patch.
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