Top Ten Lame Arguments Used by Christians

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Here they come again, Bible in hand, on a mission to save your soul. Prepare to eye-roll!

The Top Ten

1 How do you think you got here?

From my mom's womb - ElSherlock

My parents. - RoseWeasley

Sex - Luckys

My mom gave birth to me. - 3DG20

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2 We are in the end times; read Revelation.

What - ElSherlock

Huh? - KingSlayer93316

Listen even if Christian God exists...and he has committed the sin of sloth lazy to not appear on earth in our time. He would not send his son down here to behave like a monster, Jesus who was supposed to be peaceful. "Fundie who believes come to Heaven" "Sinner you will be beheaded" The seas turn into blood, some evil looking horsemen appear, Sinners go to Hell.

End of Times? Sorry but the world has always had disasters.

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3 You must BELIEVE in order for prayers to be answered.

Not everyone prays - ElSherlock

Me age 10 years old Dear God Can I have some money please Amen. Later no money. LOL.

I'm not a Christian but I once heard a pastor say that God answers every prayer. He answer with "yes" "no" or "not yet" - maverick88

I believed for thirteen years. Someone I knew believed and he used his religion to justify his poor actions. "God has a plan". He drank himself to death. - Caleb9000

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4 You can't prove God doesn't exist

Then why don't you prove that God exists? - ElSherlock

I had 3 seizures in one day, I was still alive and breathing but everything blacked out like nothing there. There is no humans, no animals, no earth, no space, no sun, no moon, no living room and chair that I was sitting on. that's what it looked like.
What if when someone passes away that happens.

I don't have proof, but I know he is real because I'm a Christian. - Luckys

Then prove that He exists, then. Don't tell me that I can't prove He doesn't exist when you can't prove that He DOES.

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5 If we came from Monkeys, then why are there still Monkeys?

First, not only some Christians gave this argument.
Second, we came from great apes.
We also have evolved from single-celled organisms - BorisRule

Creationists also use this argument
Also we came from a fish - ElSherlock

Because their Pokemon trainers didn't put them into enough fights in order for them to evolve. - shadomatrix

Actually humans are more closely related to the great apes, not monkeys. And to everyone saying we evolved from fist, we evolved from single-celled organisms. - PhoenixAura81

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6 The Bible is a history Book.

Not sure if it is - ElSherlock

But where's Hamilton? - RoseWeasley

Yes - Luckys

If it’s a history book, can I read about the Ancient Greeks in it? (sarcasm) - KingSlayer93316

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7 The Bible says...

The book was written by humans - ElSherlock

Noah was drunk after Noah's Ark.

Yep, it's a book. Written by humans. Who are flawed. - truckturner

The only argument they have. Which is not very good one - westofohio

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8 God works in mysterious ways.

I wonder in which way - ElSherlock

he does - Luckys

Rarely in a good way! - westofohio

My church used to say this every time I would ask a question about God. I started doubting religion the exact moment they told me this sentence.

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9 God gave Man free will.

No he didn't. Satan did. God gave us poverty and disease while satan gave us free will. - DarkBoi-X

And the church took it away - westofohio

If god is omniscient it means he knows the future. If he knows the future it means that the future will develop the way he knew. If the future shouldn't develop that way it means he didn't knew the future. If everything develops because his omniscient it also means that everything happens necessary. And if everything happens necessary it means that there is no free will. You can't change something that will happen necesserary. And if there's no free will it means that people aren't responsable for their sins and acts. If god punish people because of their sins from wich they are not responsable it would mean that god is immoral. The conclusion is : Or god is omniscient and also immoral or he is not immoral but in that case he isn't omniscient. Logic says that god can't be omniscient and good if he gave free will to men. In more logical terms it means that there is no god and for that matter a god-given free will.

If you say that god give us limited free will ( this wouldn't be free anymore ) like you can't choose your species or you can't fly like superman ( like you wrote in your comment ), it would be saying that he gave free will with the conditions of nature. But nature is not neccerssally a god giving thing. You can ( and I'm sure we will one day ) explain nature by science proof.

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10 Jesus died for you.

So he died for billions of people? - ElSherlock

He died for my sins. - Luckys

If he died or if he had lived what would be the difference in my life?

And does that change my life in any way? - KingSlayer93316

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The Contenders

11 If there is not god, then who made the universe?

God started the Big Bang
It's a win-win situation - yungstirjoey666

The Big Bang made the universe - ElSherlock

Satan made it - DarkBoi-X

The answer is : Something else than god!

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12 If you ask God for forgiveness, you will be Saved.

No. I don't care about forgiveness. I just want to commit war crimes. - DarkBoi-X

Saved from nothing - ElSherlock

Can he save me from viewing this list in the first place? - KingSlayer93316

That one is true, to be honest. - BorisRule

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13 You're going to go to hell when you die

Only if you did something really unthinkable, such as committing terrorism or murder. - BorisRule

Then hell is a fictional place - ElSherlock

No, you don't go to hell WHEN you die. You go to hell AFTER you die.

If all atheists are going to hell then it must be a party! - XxembermasterxX

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14 God is just testing you

What? - ElSherlock

Testing me on what? Calculus? If so, I’m going to fail (this is a joke) - KingSlayer93316

This is also not a lame argument. Theists believe in a close relationship with God, but it doesn't mean that they expect God to spoil them rotten. Hard times tend be a test of faith because God wants to see if humans are strong enough to deal with the harsh reality of the world.

This is completely stupid. It requires that god be an idiot who doesn't know if someone really believes or not, and had to do things to find out. This isn't an argument for god, mute of an explanation for why bad things happen, in spite of believers praying otherwise. - Daeralic

If god is testing me for something I didn't ask than he must be a very evil person (or whatever he is). He likes to play with his supposed creation or what?

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15 Why don't you accept (religion)? If you don't believe, and it does exist, then you'll go to hell, but if it doesn't, then nothing bad happens

Hell doesn't exist - ElSherlock

I see this all the time, and the problem with this is that EVERYTHING has a risk. If you played it safe with everything, well, if I leave my house, a axe man might kill me, or I might die in a car accident, but the chances of this are slim, so I still go outside.

Another problem is that you can't 'put on' religion like a coat. It's not a belief unless you actually Belive it. And, if you're an atheist like me, it's hard to change your mind.

Remember to a Christian the fear of getting killed every time you leave the house is nothing compared to the fear of hell because they truly believe that those who are not "born-again" go to hell and the Christian does this to make you think about the risk and if it's really worth gambling with your soul. Of course if this the only reason to be a Christian then we can apply the same philosophy to all the other religions that send you to hell if you don't believe and at that point your most likely to pick the wrong religion anyway - maverick88

I was like 7 years old, at a sort of special daycare meant for children with mental disorders (Not very bad disorders, don't worry, I'm not a psycho.), and I was in the car back to the daycare because we went on a trip that day. During the car ride, the subject touched on religion. I said I didn't believe in god, and the other girl that was with me in the car simply said; ''Then you'll go to hell.'' Needless to say my 7 year old self was stressed out for the rest of the day.

But Atheists (like me) think there is no hell, so how are we suppose to know we'll go to hell? - KingSlayer93316

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16 Morality is only possible through religion

I'm not immortal - ElSherlock

Don't you mean "immoral", because immortality and immorality are two different things? Just pointing out. - BorisRule

So, if I'm Atheist, I'm IMMORTAL?!

That's a silly claim - KingSlayer93316

17 God's time is not our time.

Time is relative. You can however measure time in relation with the speed of light. But when matter goes faster than light it will transform in pure enegergy. And beyond pure energy even time stops because it's impossible to measure something that doesn't react anymore. That is a proven scientefic theory. My question is, where is god in all that?

This is not a lame argument. It is used by beleivers because God is supposed to transcends humans in everything, including patience.

The problem with this one has more to do with believers, than non-believers. It's generally used as an alternative to, "I can't explain why your prayer hasn't been answered yet, or why this prophecy hasn't been fulfilled, etc". - Daeralic

18 God told me to give you this (hands you money).

Why not give money to the poor instead of those who don't want it? - ElSherlock

I don't want money though. That's greedy - KingSlayer93316

If you just gave that to a homeless person, what would they honestly be able to do with it? - Metalhead1997

I'm a crishin and I enen thik that is crap

19 Global Warming is a myth. God created everything and the world is getting colder

As a Christian, I disagree. Global Warming is real and we really need to fix this catastrophic situation as fast as possible. - BorisRule

Global Warning IS real - ElSherlock

The worlds temperature has not increased in any major way over the past century. It may have changed a few degrees every now and then but that is completly natural and has always occurred. No doubt greenhouse gasses are a problem but overall the mass hysteria over "global warming" is complete uncalled for and defiantly should not be a concern for our government despite what Obama thinks. - maverick88

Is the world getting colder because of atheists? If so, I take offense to that - KingSlayer93316

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20 God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve

I may be Christian, but there are homosexual animals too.
"Don't judge or you too be judged" - BorisRule

Steven is good. Adam is not - ElSherlock

I kindly ask if you Adam and LEAVE. - XxembermasterxX

Jesus grew up with two dads and he turned out fine ;)

(got that from YouTube) - Luckys

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21 You had to come from somewhere

I came from my mom - ElSherlock

My parents. - 3DG20

I came from my mother, not God. Why the hell would God summon me all of a sudden? - KingSlayer93316

We all came from the womb. - Metalhead1997

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22 Can atheists be good people? Where do they get their morals from?

Some atheists are good - ElSherlock

Sometimes, religious nutjobs are annoying XP - BorisRule

Uhh from my parents?

I get my morals from myself. And I’m a good person! - KingSlayer93316

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23 It takes more faith to be an atheist

But, Atheists don’t really have a faith. Or do they?

This claim made me lose a brain cell - KingSlayer93316

24 God has a plan

For harmless people who didn't believe to suffer in eternity, that's a nice plan God.

What plan? - ElSherlock

He has a plan for me - Luckys

What is the plan? To kill every Atheist out there? - KingSlayer93316

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25 Humans existing is proof that god exists

Thanks, Captain Obvious. Because God was a human (if he even exists, of course) - KingSlayer93316

Humans come from sex - ElSherlock

26 It is okay not to believe but is it worth it?

It is worth it. I don’t have to get involved in religion wars - KingSlayer93316

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Top Remixes

1. How do you think you got here?
2. If there is not god, then who made the universe?
3. You can't prove God doesn't exist
EdGeinFan
1. God works in mysterious ways.
2. The Bible says...
3. How do you think you got here?
mrpreston
1. How do you think you got here?
2. We are in the end times; read Revelation.
3. You must BELIEVE in order for prayers to be answered.
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