Top Ten Things Guys Will Never Understand

I'm a guy, and I've experienced a period simulator before. I've never felt more pain in my life. Every time I lose a bet or a fight with my girlfriend, I have to use that. It sucks. I'm sorry, girls. Much respect.

I will never know how periods feel, and that's good because I will never want to know.

Laugh out loud. This is so pathetic. I see my neighbors do their makeup to walk twenty feet to their mailbox. I mean, seriously!

Oh my gosh, I have the biggest problem with this! My whole family teases me, including my mom and sister who are closer to tomboys than girly girls - not that I'm a girly girl, mind you - and they just don't seem to get it. I have a bunch of shirts and tons of different kinds of jeans (among other clothes), but my outfits are rarely perfect enough for me to be satisfied!

We have nothing to wear because we never like people to see us wearing the same outfit. After a while, you start to run out of good clothes combinations, which leads to the conclusion that we have nothing to wear.

I'm a guy, and I will never understand this. I always feel a little bit sad but never even close to crying, and I've seen things like The Green Mile, Schindler's List, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, and The Pursuit of Happyness. Call me an emotionless bastard, but I did not even come close to crying during any of these.

I don't cry at sad movies or books. My mom does.

One thing just leads to another, which leads to another. Then that leads to gossip, which leads to another hour of talking on the phone.

This one can't be discussed at all. Men don't wear bras and don't have to.

They will never understand, will they?

Right! You are in more pain than ever, and all the men are like, "Eh, you're fine. Ooh, I got a baby now and I didn't even DO ANYTHING!"

"It's like having your body split in half." What?