Absurd Morals

CityGuru Hello, my name is Charlie. I'm here today to explain to you about safety.

I was walking to the store when I decided to cross the street. I didn't see the car there, nor did I realize that it was the owner of Real Oranges and Pears Co. He was one of the wealthiest men on earth. He swerved to avoid me, and accidentally hit, coincidentally, the owner of Bananas and Apples are better than Oranges and Pears, Co., the biggest rival of Oranges and Pears Co.
Angry words subdued from both cars and it ended with both men shaking their fists at each other. Oranges and Pears, Co. lowered its prices so low that Bananas and Apples are better than Oranges and Pears, Co. was forced to lower its prices to compete. Unfortunately, apples and bananas are more expensive that oranges and pears. Sadly, Bananas and Apples are better than Oranges and Pears, Co. went bankrupt. Oranges and Pears, Co. then had a monopoly of fruit in the world. It jacked up the prices so high that nobody could afford fruit anymore. There was a national food shortage in the world.
The government of Booga Booga knew something needed to be done. It decided to launch a nuclear strike on America if Oranges and Pears Co. did not lower its prices. Oranges and Pears Co. refused. Booga Booga had to stop fighting its war with Ja'Boori la Fuego and launch missiles at the company. The country it was situated in, Nimrod, launched missiles in return. The president of Booga Booga fled to the island of Nag'eye to escape. Before he left, he launched biological weapons at Nimrod, but they malfunctioned and hit Hong Pong. Hong Pong launched missiles because it was so angry. They hit the global superpower by accident, The Independent Republic of Jeebooti. Jeebooti responded by declaring war on everyone. Everyone died.
The moral of the story? Look both ways before crossing the street.

Comments

My life has just turned around. - PositronWildhawk

Why did the chicken cross the road?
To start world war 3. - Puga

To avoid a nuclear strike... - StephanTheIdiot

What about Lemons And Limes Are Better Than Oranges And Pears, Co.? - Turkeyasylum

Saving... - Turkeyasylum

An very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very important moral - CerealGuy