TopTenner joke contest

Martinglez Welcome to the TopTenner joke contest, where you vote for the best joke TopTenners have to offer. People can vote bellow, and whoever gets more votes wins (You can vote for your favourite joke. (Contestants can vote, but not for themselves). Let's get started.

1- Martinglez:
Why did Adele cross the road?
To say hello from the other side.

2- Purpleyoshi98 (even If he lost his account, he asked me to be in it):
Guy 1: "It's a bird!"
Guy 2: "It's a plane!"
Guy 1: "No, it's a bird, you idiot!"

3- Montypython:
At a talent contest, there are 4 judges.
1- An Englishman
2- A Frenchman
3- A Spaniard
4- A German

When a short person at the talent show was performing, he realized the judges had trouble seeing him. He grabbed a stool and stood on it.

'Do you see me now' he asked. The judges replied:

Englishman: Yes
Frenchman: Oui
Spaniard: Si
German: Ya

4- NESSquid:
Why did the gas clerk go to the beach?
To get the perfect SHELL

5- bobbythebrony:
There was once a kid named Johnny GoDeeper. He never got a perfect score on a test so his teacher made him a deal: If he got a perfect score on the next test, she would do whatever he wanted. He got the perfect score. Alfter class he said, "Teacher can you get off your clothes?". She responded "Okay". She took her clothes off. Johnny then said "Can I poke your belly button"."Sure" she said. She then felt something going in behind her. She said "Johnny that's not my belly button". He then said "Johnny that's not my belly button". He then said "That's not my finger either, baby".
The end

6- SirSkeletorThe3rd:
So Joseph Stalin went to Hell. Satan said 'Your punishment is to push these boulders up and down a mountain for the rest of eternity'. So Stalin accepts and while he was pushing boulders, he saw Hitler writing. Then Stalin went to Satan and said "How come Hitler gets to write and I have to push boulders?". Satan chuckled and replied "He's copying the Communist Manifesto and translating it in Hebrew".

7- Nateawesomeness:
Yo mammas so fat, she took a picture with Santa a year ago, and it's still printing.

8- FerrariDude64:
Teacher says to the class: Whoever stands up is stupid
*Nobody stands up*
I said whoever stands up is STUPID!
*Little Johnny stands up*
Teacher: Johnny, do you really think you are stupid?
Little Johnny: No Mrs, I thought that maybe you are lonely being the only one standing up.

Late entry: velitelcabal
(At the classroom)
Teacher: So Lapu-Lapu was one who led the people who killed Ferdinand Magellan in the Philippines.
Teacher: Who killed Lapu-Lapu?
Student: Not me.
Teacher: I just asked, WHO KILLED LAPU-LAPU?
Student: Even if i'm poor, I will never kill anyone!
Teacher: Why won't you tell me who killed Lapu-Lapu? I will call your dad.
Student: Okay, sure, call my dad. But i'll tell you, I didn't kill Lapu-Lapu.
(At home)
Student: Hey, dad! You have to go with me! The principal is calling you, because he wants you to tell him who killed Lapu-Lapu!
Father: That's insane!
Student: You have to go with me, if not, I will get expelled!
Father: Sure, let's go!
Grandma: Oh, so you're bound to go out!
Father: Yes, because my son is accused by the teachers of killing Lapu-Lapu. Can you go with us too?
Grandma: I'm busy here, so I can't go. And WHY WON'T YOU ADMIT WHO AMONG YOU KILLED LAPU-LAPU?!
(At the principal's office)
Principal: So what would you like us to do for you, sir?
Father: YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SENT US HERE, ASKING US WHY WE'RE HERE?!
Teacher: Oh, Sir, I sent them here because they won't tell me who killed Lapu-Lapu.
Father: We have never killed anyone, but you are provoking us to the point that this could be our first time to murder someone. AND YOU WILL LIVE A VERY DANGEROUS LIFE

What did you think? Which was your favorite? Vote for whoever you think should win below. And thanks to everyone who joined. (You can change your votes)
I will announce the results on 26th February

Comments

I like SirSkeletorThe3rd's the best - bobbythebrony (12/27/2015)

Great, thanks for voting - Martinglez (12/28/2015)

I loved ferraridude's - NESSquid (12/27/2015)

Great, thanks for voting - Martinglez (12/28/2015)

Warning,this comment is random,but I just commented this in 2:00 AM - Nateawesomeness (12/28/2015)

Wow, results will be shown on the first anniversary of the policy... - visitor (12/28/2015)

Well what a coincidence, I didn't know - Martinglez (12/28/2015)

NESsquad takes my vote - Nateawesomeness (12/28/2015)

Great. Thanks for voting. - Martinglez (12/28/2015)

SirSkeleton gets my vote - visitor (12/28/2015)

Great. Thanks for voting. - Martinglez (12/28/2015)

Bobbythebrony or Ferrari - 2storm (12/28/2015)

Choose one - Martinglez (12/29/2015)

Ferrari - 2storm (12/30/2015)

Great. Thanks for voting. - Martinglez (12/31/2015)

Ferrari gets my vote. - visitor (12/29/2015)

Great. Thanks for voting. - Martinglez (12/30/2015)

Ferrari, loved his - SirSkeletorThe3rd (12/31/2015)

Great. Thanks for voting - Martinglez (1/1/2016)

Sir gets mine - FerrariDude64 (1/1/2016)

Great. Thanks for voting - Martinglez (1/1/2016)

Sir gets my vote - FerrariDude64 (1/1/2016)

Sorry. My phone was lagging so two of the Same comments showed up - FerrariDude64 (1/1/2016)

No problem - Martinglez (1/2/2016)

I will go with Monty Python's joke. - Skullkid755 (1/26/2016)

Great, thanks for voting - Martinglez (1/26/2016)

I'd like to sign up for the sequel if one is made. - Skullkid755 (1/26/2016)

Okay - Martinglez (1/26/2016)