Top Ten Joey Perleoni Mario Party DS Anti Piracy Screen Cutscenes

Host Hoedown, or Showdown, whichever it is, is easily one of my favorites among the bunch and one of the most original ones. This Anti-Piracy cutscene in Mario Party DS isn't based on a specific event in the game like the Rocket Ship Incident or Secret Boss, for example. Instead, it offers an alternative to the normal Anti-Piracy Screen. In this cutscene, you face off against DJ Hallibo, the personified host of Mario Party DS, who is angry at you for pirating the game. You must trace your apologies to the host, although it becomes impossible as the text bounces around and Hallibo kills you.

I'll be honest, at first, it seems kind of silly the way the text box tells you things like "It would be best to offer a formal apology for what you've done." However, the battle itself is anxiety-inducing. There are many things that unsettle me about this cutscene. Firstly, the music creates a feeling of dread crawling up on you, mixed with surreality. It sounds like something straight out of your nightmares. Secondly, the background is a depressing mix of red and purple, patterned in a way that makes you feel anxious. And thirdly, the design of DJ Hallibo is creepy. He's composed of stacked polygons, like something your brain conjures up during a nightmare. All of these factors contribute to my opinion that Host Hoedown is the creepiest cutscene of them all.

Joey managed to create something creepy, unique, and still fitting within the game's aesthetic. Mad respect to you, Joey! But we still have one spot left to cover on this list. And the best cutscene of them all goes to...

Power Off Refusal was when the loer really started to deepen in the Mario Party DS Anti Piracy saga. Before this, it was mostly just cutscenes, but now we got to see something more than just those. And this is basically the personification of traumatisation, if it ever were to happen, no matter what age. The Anti Piracy screen itself in Mario Party DS is shivering enough. The music that plays in the background is really omnimous, and the setting is very gloomy, with Mario and Co. looking at you in prison. It also helps that the text on the screen tells you to Turn Off Immediately. But what if you don't? Well, the DS basically calls the cops on you. Imagine your own gaming system you've maybe had for a lifetime, and it basically snitching on you, calling the cops, sending you off to prison? You're helpless, and there's nothing you can do about it. You lose control of yourself. And the music is just as creepy as the situation itself. It's possibly even more omnimous than the Anti Piracy Screen theme. Everything about this cutscene sends hundreds of shivers down my spine, were it real.

Item Shop Dualogue/Secret Boss is basically the OG in Mario Party DS Anti Piracy cutscenes. It wasn't THE first, I mean obviously the first one was just showcasing the Anti Piracy Screen, but this was the one that started to trend of cutscenes before the screen itself. And it also happens to be one of the best. Everything about this one is creepy. Not even the beginning is all rainbows and stuff, as Luigi is playing a game of Mario Party DS on Kamek's Library, where he's entering the Item Shop. Both of these two things were already kind of creepy before this measure, as Kamek's Library is a spooky board, and the Item Shop has always kind of unsettled me, with the huge Monty Mole running it. That's how the video starts, but then Monty Mole taunts Luigi for being a pirate, and he forces Luigi into an unwinnable boss minigame. The boss minigame itself is actually just Mole Thrill, but with a twist. You have no partner, and there's NOTHING you can do. NOTHING. All you can do is wait until the huge-ass mole rushes towards you, helplessly before it tears you apart and crashes the game. I would also like to add that whenever in these cutscenes when the game crashes, it plays a distorted sound effect of the song that's currently playing. And this Anti Piracy cutscene has by far the most frightening sound effect. It literally sounds like your computer has frozen and is about to explode if you don't do anything about it. And I repeat, there's nothing you can do! By far, one of the creepiest Anti Piracy measures. And we're not even in the top three yet.

The Rocket Ship Incident is shivering, to say the least. Again, it's starts off nice and simple. Luigi has just won a game of Rocket Rascals in Mario Party DS, and he walks over the rocket. But then, the rocket malfunctions, giving off dark smoke and vibrating eery noises. The rocket sinks, and the screen goes black, with the music still playing. The text box opens, saying "You can be a rascal, Luigi, but you can't be a criminal.", as the game crashes and teleports you to the Anti Piracy Screen. This one is genuinely creepy, as you really get the feeling something is seriously wrong. And the fact that the music continues WHILE the screen goes black makes it even eerier, as if there's something in the dark out to get you. Without a doubt, Rocket Ship Incident is creepy.

Now we're getting to the really scary stuff, starting with Shy Guy Consumption in fifth place. This Anti Piracy measure takes place in the minigame Sweet Sleuth, which to be fair has always been kind of creepy even before this, but this cutscene strengthens it. Again, starts off simple and fine. Luigi and Co. are playing a game on Sweet Sleuth, giving the Shy Guy his candy. But then out of nowhere, the music gets louder, and the Shy Guy asks for Luigi, and flings him into his mouth. The execution of this cutscene is what really makes it unsettling for me. The way the music slowly becomes earrape, and how smootly Shy Guy just flings Luigi, and how all of these feels reallistic enough to be an actual anti piracy measure in-game, sends shivers down my spine.

This is the shortest "Anti Piracy" cutscene of the bunch, at only 20 seconds, but Joey sure prioritized those seconds well. This one isn't really an "Anti Piracy" measure like the rest, but it's apparently considered one so I guess I'll have it here anyway. And either way, this one is creepy. It starts off nice and simple. Just Joey trying out Download Play. But then, someone joins his party. And not just anyone, but Mammon. If you don't know, Mammon is the Arameic word for "Wealth", in this case, symbolizing the deadly sin of Greed, which can be tied to Piracy. Yeah. Imagine just casually playing Mario Party DS, and someone you don't even know joins your party. It's even creepier by the fact that unless your DS's are close to each other, you can't join someone via Download Play because of connection. So the fact that someone is actually in your house, having joined your Download Play party, is creepiness to the extreme. And we're only getting creepier from this point on!

Forced Character Removal was one of the early Anti Piracy Cutscenes, in which there wasn't as much lore as in some of the more recent cutscenes. Forced Character Removal is pretty self-explanatory. A round of Mario Party DS starts on Wiggler's Garden only everyone but the player have disappeared from the map. The text box even states for example "Waluigi isn't here.". Then the camera goes to Luigi and the text box taunts him before he falls into an abyss. The reason this Anti Piracy cutscene is down here is because it's..., just not that scary in my opinion. The fact that the Text Box itself tells you that the other players aren't there in a weird way makes it seem natural than it is. You must show, not tell. In my opinion, if it was just an empty space instead without the text box telling you, it would've in my opinion at least felt creepier. As it stands now, it's still a bit creepy. I mean the map literally swallows Luigi, but it's not on the same level as some of the others on the list.