WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: All About That Bass

WonkeyDude98
NOTE: This was done by request of vertitelcabal, due to him not liking his own and wanting me to replace it. Let's get on.

*long, awkward silence* I...don't hate Meghan Trainor. I don't. No matter how bad Dear Future Husband is, it's difficult for me to make much fuss about her. She has good songs. Better When I'm Dancing, Like I'm Gonna Lose You, and even Title was not that bad. Like I said, she has good songs.

This was not one of them. 2014 was the year that butts (add caption: BUTTS!!) came to the world by storm. We got Nicki Minaj, Jason DeRulo, Snoop Dogg, 2 Chainz, Jennifer Lopez, Iggy Azalea, and our patient, Meghan Trainor.

We start with "Because you know/I'm all about that bass, 'bout that bass/no treble (repeat last two bars four times)". I wanna start by saying this: of all people talking about their butt or other people's butts, Trainor has proven she wants to be the one we take the least seriously. Who refers to their butt as a bass? "Britney Sp-" be quiet. Also, I just hate that accent of her's. It's like she's trying to be 2009 Justin Bieber in reverse (actually she kinda reminds me of Bieber; too young and cocky with too little charisma).

I think it's interesting to note the heavy bass drum and thick bass line, if you catch my drift. Haha....UGGGGHHHHH!!! We don't need that much emphasis on it.

So now let's get to the verses. "Yeah it's pretty clear/I ain't no size two/But I can shake it, shake it/Like I'm supposed to do/'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase/Got all the right junk in all the right places/I see the magazines/Working that photoshop/You know that **** ain't real/C'mon, now make it stop!/If you got beauty, beauty/Just raise em up/'Cause every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top". I think I'm cool with the first four bars. But the next two...I can't. It's her bragging about how she attracts boys. I guess I could see that benefitting the message of the song but not that significantly, and also kinda hurts it. The next four bars are actually not bad. The next two bars are kinda mixed, since it both glorifies and objectifies women. How? Also she refers to her butt as her "boom-boom", which is both hilarious and tasteless. On the other hand, I like the beat and tempo.

The chorus is next, "Now my momma, she told me/"Don't worry about your size"/She says, "boys like a little more booty to hold at night" (Booty, booty x2)/And no, I won't be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll/So if that's what you're into, then go 'head and move along/(The entire intro)". One thing I don't like is how it is in more than half of the song, but then again, I liked It's Time by Imagine Dragons, so I can't criticize it for that. Anyway, the first two bars are great, they help the message stay strong and consistent. But the next three bars are beyond terrible. They turn the song from uplifting to skinny-shaming. Especially the first of the three, which also sends the "I'm awesome" vibe instead of the "be proud of who you are" vibe.

The second verse: "I'm bringing booty back/Go 'head and tell those skinny *****es that/Nah I'm just playing, I know you think you're fat/But I'm here to tell you/Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top". This is where the song goes downhill. The first bar just shows how out-of-date Trainor is. This issue she's covering was pretty much solved already. In the '90s. Just in case you thought the song couldn't get worse, second bar hits a new low for the song. She almost hits Anaconda's level of condescension and cruelty there. The next three bars are okay.

There is no bridge.

I'm sorry I didn't get angrier, but I can't really evoke much anger for this. It has a nice beat and tried to send a good message, but it kinda went in a poor direction, and has pretty bad vocal performance from Trainor. Overall I give this a light 2 out of 5. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out.

Comments

I still like the proofs you made. - visitor

Thanks - WonkeyDude98

I think this is more of an Analysis than a Formal Rage. I think you should swap the Formal Rage and Analysis with Hotline Bling. Do you agree with me or do you agree with me or nah - AlphaQ

I agree with you on Meghan, she can be hit or miss, but this is a terrible rant. I'm sorry, but it is.

You make some very weird assumptions about the lyrics and you're missing some crucial parts. I'll show you two example.

"Now my momma, she told me/"Don't worry about your size"/She says, "boys like a little more booty to hold at night" (Booty, booty x2)/And no, I won't be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll/So if that's what you're into, then go 'head and move along/(The entire intro)". - "But the next three bars are beyond terrible. They turn the song from uplifting to skinny-shaming."

She's not "shaming" them by calling them silicone barbies. She's saying, "I'm not skinny, so if you're looking for someone skinny, peace out! I'm not your girl." She isn't saying "Skinny people suck, if you want skinny then just leave".

"I'm bringing booty back/Go 'head and tell those skinny *****es that/Nah I'm just playing, I know you think you're fat/But I'm here to tell you/Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top". - "She almost hits Anaconda's level of condescension and cruelty there."

That's crazy, it doesn't hit anywhere CLOSE to the cruelty Nicki Minaj provided in Anaconda. Literally, right after Meghan calls them skinny bitches...she says "Nah, I'm just playing" meaning *SPOILER ALERT* she is KIDDING. She then tells them that she's here to tell them they're not fat. In Anaconda, Nicki just flat out says, "F you if you skinny" with no "kidding suckas" anywhere.

At least you're not evoking too much anger into this. I just want to point out some issues with this post. It's my job bruh. - DCfnaf

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