Top Ten Mildly Disturbing Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Roommate

 Some people are just too difficult, or nightmarish, to live with.

The Top Ten

1 What yogurt? That's my sample in the fridge. The bank's just two blocks too far away!

This list is going to make me laugh out the vomit I'm currently barfing up. Yep, I'm making you read even more disturbing things. - keycha1n

Took me a couple seconds to get this. Geez, that's creepy. - PetSounds

! Afraid even to imagine the response in this case... - Fan_of_Good_Music

Well, I'm never eating yoghurt again. :P - IronSabbathPriest

2 Mate, don't be too shocked by the corpse in your car. I had to put my ex somewhere!

This is a little more than mildly disturbing... - gemcloben

Every item is so funny! - gemcloben

I have some advice : RUN! - JaysTop10List

That's ok. that's what friends are for - nintendofan126

3 Sorry if you were stuck to the bed sheets this morning, you were just delicious!

"gulp" my cousin has a roommate and I'm going to stay with him in a month - Icegirl119

4 You keep saying we should save water, why don't we just share a bath?

Because that would be disgusting. - MarioMaster101

5 Where have I been? Ask your sister. Or the cops.

The number one sign your roomate is a rapist. - Drumline

6 Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!
7 I'm off for a ball wax, wanna come?

Ouuuchhh! I mean, I don't have balls, (male balls) so I wouldn't know, but still! - keycha1n

8 Yeah, we'll have to go a week without internet. Hopefully then the FBI will terminate their chase.
9 Can't come out yet, I'm welding my nipple back on with your hair gel.

Geez, there are better ways! Ever consider putting it in milk and having a professional stitch it back on? That being said, if you're a male, not a huge loss, if you're a female, you'll going to have lopsided boobs if you have a child. - keycha1n

This is really disturbing. I would say the word "mildly" for this one is a bit of an understatement. - RockFashionista

10 Peanuts? No, I've been sanding off my foot warts.

The Contenders

11 There's Diet Coke in the fridge, sorry, safe, if you want it. Just keep it in a secure place.

I'd just ignore him if he said this - RustyNail

12 I Invited Barney to Stay With Us, Is That Okay?

Barney the dinosaur? - TwilightKitsune

No, and he's just a character from a show. - MarioMaster101

13 Used wax strips make excellent fly paper. Have you noticed?
14 Um, is it bad that I blew up the car?

Yes - MarioMaster101

15 Alphys X Amalgamates is a real thing now
16 I Friended Herbert The Pervert on Facebook
17 Sorry I was late. Here is your knife back. Don't mind the red stuff. Its just ketchup. We went to a restaurant.
18 I'm Getting Pretty Hard Right Now

I hope he doesn't mean that... - DapperPickle

19 I'm gonna go Koopa Troopa on you're ass

How do you go Koopa Troopa on an ass? - MarioMaster101

20 I'm gonna go Knuckles the Echidna on you're ass

I would slap them with a Sonic figure. I always carry some just in case a weird guy comes up to me...

UGANDA

21 I'm gonna go spartan on you're ass
22 In the bathroom: "Oh lord, not now!"
23 I like Fortnite
24 They come to you in the night
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