Top Ten Mildly Disturbing Things You Don't Want to Hear from Your Roommate

Some people are just too difficult, or nightmarish, to live with.
The Top Ten
1 What yogurt? That's my sample in the fridge. The bank's just two blocks too far away!

This list is going to make me laugh out the vomit I'm currently barfing up. Yep, I'm making you read even more disturbing things.

Took me a couple seconds to get this. Geez, that's creepy.

! Afraid even to imagine the response in this case...

2 Mate, don't be too shocked by the corpse in your car. I had to put my ex somewhere!

Mildly disturbing? Hmmm, Pos. Of course the corpse could be useful for some scientific purposes so I suppose there's an upside...

This is a little more than mildly disturbing...

Every item is so funny!

I have some advice : RUN!

3 Sorry if you were stuck to the bed sheets this morning, you were just delicious!

"gulp" my cousin has a roommate and I'm going to stay with him in a month

Most of these are more than just mildly disturbing.

4 You keep saying we should save water, why don't we just share a bath?

Because that would be disgusting.

5 Where have I been? Ask your sister. Or the cops.
6 Heeeeeeeeeere's Johnny!
7 I'm off for a ball wax, wanna come?

Ouuuchhh! I mean, I don't have balls, (male balls) so I wouldn't know, but still!

8 Yeah, we'll have to go a week without internet. Hopefully then the FBI will terminate their chase.
9 Can't come out yet, I'm welding my nipple back on with your hair gel.

Geez, there are better ways! Ever consider putting it in milk and having a professional stitch it back on? That being said, if you're a male, not a huge loss, if you're a female, you'll going to have lopsided boobs if you have a child.

This is really disturbing. I would say the word "mildly" for this one is a bit of an understatement.

10 Peanuts? No, I've been sanding off my foot warts.
The Contenders
11 There's Diet Coke in the fridge, sorry, safe, if you want it. Just keep it in a secure place.

I'd just ignore him if he said this

12 I Invited Barney to Stay With Us, Is That Okay?

No, and he's just a character from a show.

Barney the dinosaur?

13 Um, is it bad that I blew up the car?
14 Alphys X Amalgamates is a real thing now
15 Used wax strips make excellent fly paper. Have you noticed?
16 I'm Getting Pretty Hard Right Now

I hope he doesn't mean that...

17 I Friended Herbert The Pervert on Facebook
18 Sorry I was late. Here is your knife back. Don't mind the red stuff. Its just ketchup. We went to a restaurant.
19 I'm gonna go Koopa Troopa on you're ass

How do you go Koopa Troopa on an ass?

20 I'm gonna go Knuckles the Echidna on you're ass

I would slap them with a Sonic figure. I always carry some just in case a weird guy comes up to me...

21 I'm gonna go spartan on you're ass
22 In the bathroom: "Oh lord, not now!"
23 I like Fortnite
24 They come to you in the night
25 Who was there?
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