Top Ten Mildly Unsettling Things to Hear On a Commercial Space Flight

PositronWildhawk
Give us a few decades, and we'll have colonised the Moon and Mars, and people will be flying from Earth and these colonies to each other and elsewhere in the Solar System, as a method of tourism, or maybe to visit one's Martian relatives. Suppose you were on one of the flights leaving a planet. What wouldn't you want to hear? Vote below.

The Top Ten

1 This is your captain speaking. We are shedding weight as we enter Earth's atmosphere, so please brace yourself for mild burns, and re-entry will pass swiftly.
2 Please help yourselves to as much food as you can eat. Those of you with an Earth passport, please line up behind the wok.
3 On your right, if you look, you shall encounter a small asteroid. Those of you looking ahead to see the asteroid will shortly lose oxygen and die. Those of you looking behind themselves to see the asteroid shall have two minutes' worth.
4 We are experiencing a minor extraterrestrial infestation. Please apply the correct masks, instead of the ones which may begin to suck.
5 Preparing for takeoff. Would you care to boldly go where no man has gone before? Then play with your iPhone as much as you please.
6 Our course is temporarily changing, as indicated by the cyan-green beam which has entered the ship.
7 We are experiencing a minor extraterrestrial infestation. Please remove all tampons to make probing more efficient.
8 We are experiencing some minor engine problems, but we shouldn't be crash landing, as we are merely headed for the Sun.
9 The ship shall shortly be aligning itself at 180 degrees to its takeoff trajectory, before accelerating freely under gravity.
10 Enjoy the in-flight movie: Apollo 13.

Followed by the whole Alien series. - ethanmeinster

Sad but hilariass - Gusbus

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Top Remixes

1. This is your captain speaking. We are shedding weight as we enter Earth's atmosphere, so please brace yourself for mild burns, and re-entry will pass swiftly.
2. Please help yourselves to as much food as you can eat. Those of you with an Earth passport, please line up behind the wok.
3. On your right, if you look, you shall encounter a small asteroid. Those of you looking ahead to see the asteroid will shortly lose oxygen and die. Those of you looking behind themselves to see the asteroid shall have two minutes' worth.
kormo
1. This is your captain speaking. We are shedding weight as we enter Earth's atmosphere, so please brace yourself for mild burns, and re-entry will pass swiftly.
2. Please help yourselves to as much food as you can eat. Those of you with an Earth passport, please line up behind the wok.
3. On your right, if you look, you shall encounter a small asteroid. Those of you looking ahead to see the asteroid will shortly lose oxygen and die. Those of you looking behind themselves to see the asteroid shall have two minutes' worth.
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

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