Top Ten Milton Jones Quotes

PositronWildhawk
Raising a glass to one of my favourite comedians ever. This list includes some relatively new ones from when I saw him live.

The Top Ten

1 I tried to find a cheap mud pack recently. I saw a sign saying, "Sewage Water Works." Believe me, it doesn't.

Puhaha I could have told ^ HIM that! Haha. - Britgirl

2 Some say the firefighters deserve more money. Apparently, a poll was taken, and they all fell through a hole in the floor.
3 I’m very English really. I even ordered a book on the internet, ‘how to have absolutely nothing to do with your neighbours’. Unfortunately I was out when it was delivered.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear... The irony of it all.. - Britgirl

4 Militant feminists, I take my hat off to them, they don’t like that.

Absolutely true and so funny! - Britgirl

So true, spot on. - Metal_Treasure

5 I got arrested for playing chess in the street. I said, it's because I'm black, isn't it?!
6 I've just finished my book, I wrote it on penguins. Come to think of it, paper would have been better.
7 When the dishwasher broke, I would wash my knife literally anywhere, but apparently someone was already in the shower.
8 Reading between the lines is dangerous when you're waiting for a train.
9 I was in the park the other day, watching an old man feeding the birds. Makes you wonder how long he's been dead...
10 I was grilling some tomatoes the other day, demanding, WHO ARE YOU?! WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?!

Haha argh! This list is amazing! - Britgirl

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2 years, 310 days old

Top Remixes

1. I tried to find a cheap mud pack recently. I saw a sign saying, "Sewage Water Works." Believe me, it doesn't.
2. Some say the firefighters deserve more money. Apparently, a poll was taken, and they all fell through a hole in the floor.
3. I’m very English really. I even ordered a book on the internet, ‘how to have absolutely nothing to do with your neighbours’. Unfortunately I was out when it was delivered.
PositronWildhawk

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