Top 10 Music Jokes
The Top Ten
1 What concert costs 45 cents? A: 50 cent featuring Nickelback
When you pay 50 cents and they give you a nickel back, it costs 45 cents because a nickel = 5 cents.
That's a little too expensive for those too
This is actually really good!
2 What's the difference between a rap musician and god? A: God doesn't think he's a rap musician.
Yesterday I made 2 lists - about drummer jokes and music genres jokes -, and I realized that there's no list about all types of music jokes (about everything music-related). So I made it.
3 What's the definition of perfect pitch? A: When you throw a banjo in the bin and it lands on an accordion.
Literal humor is always the best lol
4 What do you call a beautiful woman on a musician's arm? A: A tattoo.
5 Why is the French horn the most divine music instrument? A: Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out
6 What is music? A: Sounds arranged by the composer, incorrectly interpreted by the conductor and ignored by the audience
7 A child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician." She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."
8 How are sopranos defying the laws of astrophysics? A: The center of the universe shifts with every step they take.
9 What do you call a fish that needs help with his or her vocals? A: Autotuna
10 What do you say to a musician with a steady job? A: I’ll have two Big Macs and fries, please!
The Contenders
11 What happens if you play blues music backwards? A: Your wife returns to you, your dog comes back to life, and you get out of prison.
12 How many sopranos does it take to change a light bulb? A: One. She just holds on and the world revolves around her.
13 What's the difference between a viola and a cello? A: A cello burns longer.
14 Why are harps like elderly parents? A: Both are unforgiving and hard to get into and out of cars.
You know what I just realized? This joke also works for upright bass!
15 What is the difference between a clarinet and an onion? A: Nobody cries when you chop a clarinet into little pieces
16 Chemistry test: Name 4 heavy metals and their symbols. A: Metallica, Slayer, Megadeth, Anthrax
17 What do you get if you cross country music with rap? A: Crap.
Old town road
18 What's a music interval? A: How long it takes to find the right note
19 Master Card or Visa? A: Master! Master!
A reference to Metallica's Master of Puppets. "Obey your Master! Master! "
20 What do you call a successful musician? A: A guy whose wife has 2 jobs.
21 Did you know the Irish invented the bagpipes as a joke? A: The Scotts haven't got it yet.
22 Why do bagpipers walk when they play? A: To get away from the noise.
23 Why are music jokes so short? A: So musicians can understand them.
24 Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor? A: He was feeling a Lil Weezy
25 What rock group has four guys who can't sing? A: Mount Rushmore.
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