Top Ten New Year's Resolutions That Are Obvious Lies

The Top Ten
1 I will exercise everyday

Lol Princess Celestia loves cake. Celestia please exercise lol

"I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it... Is that cake? "

I have to exercise everyday...

2 I will focus on what's important

Definitely a worthwhile resolution. I like this.
Nice list by the way!

3 I will NOT eat more food than my calorie count requires
4 My children will be safe

With this being on this list, I feel somewhat reassured.

This seems to make me laugh.

5 I will succeed in my new relationship

Relationship: Somewhere around friends.

What relationship...?

6 I will not have 8 relationships this year

Not a lie for me I think this is a pretty easy resolution to keep but then I would not make such a resolution.

I don't even have relationships in the first place.

Let's up the ante!

Really why not! !

7 I will not flirt with every girl I see

for me I've ended interacting with girls/women, my relationships dismantles itself, no matter what I do everything is my fault & I've committed nothing, I originally attempted on fulfilling myself back in the day & everything I've done was worth everything & I don't know what I did wrong because I was being the perfect boyfriend humanly possible. I heavily invested into many many many MANY things back when I was healthier, my health is diminishing because I have nothing else to do because I attempted so heavily that I'd expected others including my girlfriend/girlfriends would be normal & average, I have nothing else to do because I've done so much & have done so many with others, dating/flirting is no longer with me anymore & due to sexism I've decided to die by myself

What is wrong with the people who flirts with every girl they see?!

8 I will work consistently

The harder you work now a days the less you make.

9 I will not be awkward

With by condition, this is difficult. Okay, outright impossible.

10 I won't masturbate

Sometimes lint gets collected on my dick(to be more accurate, under the flappy skin under my glans), so I HAVE to masturbate

The Contenders
11 I will not embarrass my family
12 I will quit drinking/smoking/doing drugs

Sadly, this is a hard thing for people to do. They might do it however.

Don't do it in the first place

13 Get all A's and be a good student
14 I will eat less junk food
15 I will spend less time in front of a screen
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