Top Ten New Year's Resolutions That Are Obvious Lies

The Top Ten
1 I will exercise everyday

"I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it... Is that cake? "

Lol Princess Celestia loves cake. Celestia please exercise lol

I have to exercise everyday...

Day 1: yeah I am signing up to a gym!

Day 365: *eats entire box of doughnuts*

2 I will focus on what's important

Definitely a worthwhile resolution. I like this.
Nice list by the way! - Britgirl

3 I will NOT eat more food than my calorie count requires
4 My children will be safe

With this being on this list, I feel somewhat reassured. - PositronWildhawk

This seems to make me laugh. - MoldySock

5 I will succeed in my new relationship

Relationship: Somewhere around friends. - Cyri

What relationship...? - Rocko

Haha...yes this is clearly wrong lol

6 I will not have 8 relationships this year

Not a lie for me I think this is a pretty easy resolution to keep but then I would not make such a resolution. - Powell

I don't even have relationships in the first place. - Minecraftcrazy530

Let's up the ante! - Cyri

Really why not! !

7 I will not flirt with every girl I see

What is wrong with the people who flirts with every girl they see?!

8 I will work consistently

The harder you work now a days the less you make. - Sabbath

9 I will not be awkward

With by condition, this is difficult. Okay, outright impossible. - Cyri

Nope, that's definitely not happening. lol - KnightofLight

10 I won't masturbate

Sometimes lint gets collected on my dick(to be more accurate, under the flappy skin under my glans), so I HAVE to masturbate

The Contenders
11 I will not embarrass my family
12 I will quit drinking/smoking/doing drugs

Sadly, this is a hard thing for people to do. They might do it however.

Don't do it in the first place

13 Get all A's and be a good student

That's what they all answer when the teacher asks :P

My resolution: get all F's and drop out

Jk,but still

14 I will eat less junk food
15 I will spend less time in front of a screen
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