Mother Goose's completely wrong story (How many nursery rhymes can you guess?

Mother Goose was well, a goose, who was born to two parents, her duck mom, and her goose dad. She was born with the name Bill. Pretty bad parents, right? Her parents were killed at a young age by the Butcher, the Baker, and the Candlestick Maker, the butcher’s name being Pierre, the baker’s name being Burton, and the candlestick maker being named Doctor. No literally, Doctor. It isn’t uncommon for birds to die in Mother Goose, currently going by Gander’s land, known as Whomland. Birds in the land of Whomland usually die after having children, and it is a natural thing, but Pierre, Burton, and Doctor killed them first. The butcher chopped them up, the baker cooked them, and the candlestick maker well, make candlesticks for the meal as they all are eating the goose and duck meal. Gander met a little boy dressed in blue lying on a hill. The boy was named Jonatan Soren, better known by the alias Little Boy Blue. He was stuck in a deep sleep, where in his dreams, he ran into the dream tiger, Rhansa. Rhansa was a male tiger, who uses his delicious candy toe as bait for little boys. One lick of the toe, and the boy is stuck sleeping for ten days. However, Rhansa lived in real life too. During the day time, he is a nice tiger known as Jhansa, in which he attracts little boys to catch him by his candy toe and lick it, and it will bring them happiness. But at night, he is nowhere but the dreams of boys under 10, where his candy toe is home to dark spirits that put a 10 day curse on the boy when licked. There is one way to wake Little Boy Blue early is to put an itsy-bitsy spider on him. So that is what Gander did, and Jonatan woke up and said “SPIDER!!” and ran off. Suddenly, Pierre went and dropped a knife on the spider, even though it was itsy bitsy. The baker cook him, and the candlestick maker burned him! They brought the dead spider over to the fair, where one little piggy was. The little piggy ran off from the butcher, and back to his little piggy family. Pierre the butcher was furious at the missed opportunity, so he went and revealed he had an entire collection of chopped, cooked, and burned spiders that he placed all over the fair. Burton and Doctor showed up and burned down the fair. Gander walked home to see a cannon on a wall, she named “Humpty Dumpty.” A few days later, Humpty Dumpty would be pushed off its wall and broken by the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker. She went into her house, where Jhansa was inviting little boys. He was singing

“Hey Little Johnny, Hey little Gary, Hey Little Berty, Hey little Jerry”

When she heard this, she send everyone out, only to see a garden with a little girl named Mary in it. As Gander walked in, it turned into a Catholic Church, where Mary was Queen of England, and was ready to execute her. Right before she was executed, she woke up from a dream. There she found the candlestick maker and his son, Jack, performing a ritual where Jack would jump over his father’s candlesticks to create nightmares in whoever was near. Gander went and attacked Doctor and Jack and was furious. She stole the candlestick maker’s candle, put it on the floor, and forced Jack to jump over it. He was nimble, he was quick, and he did it. Gander went and kicked them out, only to find a bunch of boys in her room, and while it was day, when the boys caught and licked the tiger’s toe, they all were put in deep sleep. It turns out Rhansa was always Rhansa and never Jhansa, and that his candy toe always put little boys to sleep for 10 days, only during day, he hypnotizes anyone over 10 to look at it like it was a harmless toe. Jonatan’s parents, Gerald and Demetria Soren, showed up to find out that the sheep aren’t being looked after, because Jonatan was stuck in a 10-day sleep. The sheep bursted in, all had white wool, except for one, the special one, the black wooled sheep, had no wool all of a sudden. The baker baked his wool. Even though it would grow back, the black sheep was quite paranoid. The butcher bursted in with more tiny spiders that he hadn’t yet killed, but made them walk up a wet waterspout, obviously falling out immediately. She then woke up from her dream: again! She then walked out to wish upon a twinkling star. She asked “please, let the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker serve their defeat. I wonder what you even are but whatever you are, please stop them.” The star dropped out from the sky to reveal that it was Gander’s guardian angel. The star said that Pierre, Burton, and Doctor have always actually been the cause of death on Whomland. It gave her a baby goose. Now Bill no longer goes by Gander, but by Mother Goose. She then named her baby goose Little Goose, and ran off out of her dream. Yes, this too was a dream, Doctor and Jack had been putting through a LOT of dreams! She remembered all, which were the origins for her nursery rhymes. (Despite other events serving as origins) She broke out of her last dream, as Little Goose suddenly revealed itself as a boy, and literally used early wrestling to go defeat the butcher, the baker, and the candlestick maker! And now, she lives as a happy mother with her son she named Marshall., and she wrote down all of these events in a little book, and they are what we now know as nursery rhymes.


(And yes, lots of these are completely incorrect and the nursery rhymes have much different origins and Mother Goose was not a goose nor was she a singular human, but I made this just for fun)


Itsy Bitsy Spider
10 Little Sheep
Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
Mary Had A Little Lamb

Just one of the few, I can name more, but that’s enough - visitor

I didn't reference Mary Had A Little Lamb. I used the sheep that Little Boy Blue should be watching over as a reference for Baa Baa Black Sheep - 445956

Again, I don’t know much about nursery rhymes, as I haven’t read them in years and even forgot the names. - visitor