WonkeyDude98 Analysis: Cheerleader

WonkeyDude98
So we've finally come to this point where I finally review OMI's biggest hit, Cheerleader. *stiffens throat* This'll be a doozy...

I can't really say much about OMI besides the fact that he's a soulless excuse for an artist whose notes hit sound like an alien. You all have already experienced this dreck, but it doesn't evoke anger in me, and I have had yet to review it. Here we go.

We start with (assuming you're listening to the Felix Jaehn remix which is the version more familiar with the public) a blast of trumpets and a piano. Not bad, not bad. Then OMI starts singing. He says that whenever he doesn't feel secure, the only solution is his "queen" who is always there for him when he wants her. Already we're off on the wrong foot because he says that his queen is always there for him. This doesn't sound as much of a compliment to her as it is a boast for you. Also, "right there when I want her". Do you have any idea what you're saying? You basically baited a negative reaction with that lyric. Moving on, "All these other girls are tempting/But I'm empty when you're gone and they say/"Do you need me?/Do you think I'm pretty?/Do I make you feel like cheating?"/I'm like "no, not really". Bravo! Bravo! You just indecisively denied a request to cheat when these girls said out loud that they want you to cheat on your "queen" or "cheerleader" which would immediately give you the signal to not to! In all seriousness, what kind of girl, let alone girls, says out loud if they make you feel like cheating? Also, I like how he's like "no, not really". People hate Andy Grammer's "Honey, I'm Good" because it's not decisive about him saying no. At least he actually has an excuse to not be decisive (It's implied that he's drunk out of his head, where there is no implication that OMI is under the same circumstance), and even then it sounded more decisive than OMI's.

Let's get to the hook. "Oh I think that I found myself a cheerleader/She is always right there when I need her (x2)". The drums aren't a total failure despite the ugly synth line accompanying it. As for the lyrics, again, I believe OMI is bragging about what he has. Also, "I think that I found myself a cheerleader". Stay classy, HOMIE. Stay classy. Also I'll talk about the other two repetitions of the hook. The second time it is accompanied by a useless trumpet solo implemented by Felix Jaehn to fill in space so the song wasn't so short (the original was slower in tempo, so this one covered a lot less space). Then the third repetition is where it's most annoying. The same trumpet solo is not only still attached to the end uselessly, but also accompanies OMI's hook now. Why, why?

The second verse is easily the worst part of the song. Here's how it goes "She walks like a model/She grants my wishes like a genie in a bottle, yeah yeah/I'm the wizard of love/And I've got the magic wand". The first three bars are still bragging about this cheerleader that he has. The final bar....bothers me. Greatly. It's disgusting, really. I shall not speak of that undignified slop!

The bridge is easily the best part of the song. "She gives me love and affection/Baby did I mention/You're the only girl for me/No, I don't need a next one/Momma loves you too/She thinks I made the right selection/All that's left to do is just for me to pop the question". The first bar is still a brag, but the rest of the verse is nice. It would've been a lot BETTER if Jaehn didn't overrun the vocals with the trumpets making it impossible to hear OMI.

Yeah, this gets a half-star/5 for me, and that's for the bridge alone.

I literally just got this out so I can get another formal rage out. Spoiler: All firearms on will.i.am for the next rage.

Comments

Can you do one on Exe's and Oh's, that deserves one too. - Swellow

I hate that song to the absolute bone (worse than Dear Future Husband), but I can't bring up a lot of hatred for it because it's only flaw really is lyrical shallowness and stereotypical lyrics that fails at satire. - WonkeyDude98

This one was literal filler. Much like the song itself. - WonkeyDude98

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