Top Ten Physics Jokes

PositronWildhawk

The Top Ten

1 A Higgs Boson goes into a Church. They say "You can't call yourself a God particle!" The Higgs says, "Without me, you'd have no mass!"
2 A helium nucleus says to another, "I need to cool off" and the other says, "You're in luck! I have you down for the full spin!"
3 Physics makes you do work, Chemistry makes you react, Biology makes you throw up!

Another version of this joke "Physics makes you work it up, Chemistry makes you blow it up, Biology makes you throw it up." (Never liked Biology)

This is the only one I get! Haha! But then, a nerd I am not! - Britgirl

Thanks to the anonymous TopTenner who made this joke. I can't stop using this one. D34TH533K, get a room! - PositronWildhawk

Every other joke sucks. This one is actually ON THE RIGHT TRACK. Notice I put caps. -D34TH533K

4 A physicist took his cat to the vet. It might have been poisonous gas, but they were uncertain.

Thank goodness Sheldon explained this one or else I would've never known... - keycha1n

Altered states of uncertainty if it Is or not! - Kevinsidis

Oh, those Schrödinger's Cat jokes! Gotta love 'em, right? - PositronWildhawk

5 A rally car finished a race. Unfortunately, they didn't know how fast it was going, just how far it had gone. It was an integrale!
6 I suddenly became very hot, and the heat from me was off the chart. I said, "where's that radiation coming from?" and my friend said "you the light" (UV Light)

If you have to explain a joke, there is no joke! - Cazaam

7 You seen that strange sigma particle? It forms by means of one of four fundamental forces and decays by means of another. Some quirk (quark)!
8 A lumberjack taught his dog to run on a rolling log and noticed that entropy did not increase. It was the Pet Yule Motion.

I know. That is seriously bad. But hey, TheTopTens is TheTopTens! - PositronWildhawk

9 One helium nucleus was in New York; its brother in California. On one family reunion, come a cold enough winter, they were in the same state!
10 The Universe Implodes. No Matter.

The Contenders

11 Quantum Ice Cream - Six Flavors
12 Light bulb companies wanted to use filament bulbs again. They did not get the Volt.
13 Entropy just isn't what it used to be.
14 A force walks into a bar and says "Enough Torque!"
15 A photon walks into a hotel lobby. The valet offers to take his luggage. It replies: "I've not got any, I'm traveling light."
16 Mosquitoes can't touch mountain climbers. You can't cross a vector with a scalar.
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List Stats

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4 years, 305 days old

Top Remixes

1. A helium nucleus says to another, "I need to cool off" and the other says, "You're in luck! I have you down for the full spin!"
2. A Higgs Boson goes into a Church. They say "You can't call yourself a God particle!" The Higgs says, "Without me, you'd have no mass!"
3. Physics makes you do work, Chemistry makes you react, Biology makes you throw up!
PositronWildhawk

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