Top Ten Best Places to Find a Restroom to Take a Dump

When you gotta go, you gotta go. This is a list of the very best places to drop a deuce and feel good about it. Most people tend to be a little particular about their poo poo time, though it's rare to have 100% alone time while you're doing your business.

These are the best places to pinch a loaf. Feel free to add any places that aren't on here already. You Need To Go To The Restroom And Bombs away!

The Top Ten

1 Home

There is nothing better than taking a dump or going to the restroom of having confront taking a dump, isn't It?

Yep. This is the best place to go to the bathroom. - nintendofan126

There's no place like home.

2 A Luxury Hotel

Most people aren't using a hotel's lobby bathrooms, which is why it's the perfect place to pop a squat. Plus, they're often luxurious and will have stalls with doors that go all the way to the floor, concealing you just a little bit more in your personal, pooping paradise.

3 Your Parent's House

Your parents's house is like your home away from home. They potty trained you, you pooped in their house until you moved out, it's comfortable territory.

4 A Luxury House

A Luxury House Has Very Luxurious Looking Bathrooms And Luxury Houses Have A Great Confront Of Taking A Dump, isn't it?

5 Japan

From nocturne, via the comments:

"It doesn't get much better than Japan. It just really doesn't. If there were a place where they had T.V.'s in the stalls for you to watch, then that would be where I would live."

Heitkempy also adds:

"Heated toilet seats in public restrooms. There are bidet seats on the toilets that give you a warm water wash and a blow dry. Also there are devices that make noise to cover up "your noise". They also combo the toilet and sink so that the water goes on in the sink when you flush so nobody gets any handles dirty."

6 Large Bookstore Chain

Stores like Barnes & Noble and Borders Books often have public bathrooms. The ubiquity of these stores makes them good options as well. Their bathrooms generally aren’t too heavily trafficked, clean, and well-stocked, though I've seen exceptions.

7 Luxury Restaurant
8 Government Building

Public libraries are great! I wouldn't mind if they had a little donation box

Most government buildings have metal detectors that ward off easy access. They also monitor suspicious activity, like someone snooping around for a bathroom. But I’ve seen some city halls that are totally open and have relatively clean facilities. Courts are not generally clean though; I guess criminals clog toilet bowls to get back at the system. Yes, stuffing a toilet bowl is the perfect way to stick it to The Man.

9 Grandma's House

I don't know about you, but my grandma's bathroom is immaculate. Especially her guest "Powder Room." Not only does the woman have all the time in the world to keep it clean and smelling fresh, but she doesn't get visitors too often.

10 Colleges and Universities

I wouldn’t recommend a grade or high school at all (that’s just creepy), but sometimes a higher-education facility can offer a building with public bathrooms. It has become rarer and rarer though, as many require some form of student identification. And with good reason. If I was a student there, I’m not sure I’d want some random person laying a stink in my school’s bathrooms.

The Contenders

11 The Floor Above or Below You at Work

There's nothing more embarrassing than being mid-poop in the bathroom at work when your coworker walks in and smells your mess, or worse, comment on it (yep, that's happened). If you go to a floor above or below you, chances are you won't know as many people there (and possibly no one), and you can at least drop a deuce with some anonymity.

12 Department Stores
13 Casinos

Nothing better than making a deposit after hitting the jack pot

No complaints

14 Large Hotel Chains

Walk in like you’re a guest or conference attendee and stroll right over to a directory or building map. I don’t think hotel employees care if you’re not one of those, but it might make you feel less self-conscious. Hotel chains like Marriot, Westin, even Holiday Inn have public restrooms. Generally, only guests and employees use them, so you can except clean and well-stocked facilities.

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