Insulting Pop Culture - Love Songs

Love may be a joyful feeling, but these generic songs are just pointless.

Most of the love songs speak of the beauty of their lover, and that isn’t what matters. The songs shouldn’t be describing something they can’t help. You should speak of their personality and the times you’ve spent together, how you’ve came to be as you are together to this day. Do you find the songs interesting? I can teach you how to write one. Follow my lead.

Step 1.
Use “metaphors” that don’t mean anything. Use random words to sound deep, and be sure to include some lyrics about their appearance. Pop singers use this method to give the impression that they are talented writers.
Example: “Dark blue skies/Soft grey eyes/Reflecting all the light you took away from me.”

Step 2.
You must describe how you only like this person for their appearance, and they have no redeeming qualities, just like every popular singer. Continue using the nonsensical metaphors to give this impression of beautiful lyrics.
Example: “Rainy skies/Pitch black lies/As I lay in the ocean/Away from the sea.”

Step 3.
Create two lines with similar words. This is a common technique used in pop music.
Example: “If I’m done with excuses/Well, excuse me.”

Step 4.
This is the chorus. Use a beat (can be original or copied, there is a lot of plagiarism in pop music) that’s catchy, and include lyrics about how you don’t like the person you’re in “love” with, but you need to look good in front of the paparazzi.
Example: “Sitting in the rain/Living for the pain/I’m so done with your lies/But I’m still lost in your eyes.”

Step 5.
For your second verse, use lyrics about how the person disrespected you, and keep using the nonsensical and random metaphors you’ve already learned.
Example: “Long brown hair/Weightless air/Like how easily you hurt me/You forced me to stay.”

Step 6.
Repeat steps 1-5 until your song is 3 minutes. Pop love songs are extremely repetitive.


I’ll call my song “In The Rain.” - irises