Top Ten Predictable Things Horoscopes Usually Tell You
Horoscopes... they're so predictable aren't they? Each one says exactly the same thing, just worded differently, but it all amounts to the usual...The Top Ten
1 An old friend will reappear
2 You'll meet someone special
3 Watch what you spend
You damn right 'bout that, little lady. Them New York hoochies get all crazy when ya try payin'em with Confederate money. No sensa humor, a-tall.
4 You have an admirer
Haha sure I do. Who?! WHERE?! Do THEY know about it?
5 You'll be invited somewhere
6 Work may become stressful
And boils may become painful.
7 You'll be the peacemaker in a family argument
Oh, Beege. Nobody's ever accused me of that.
8 Don't believe everything you read
No...okay...I won't believe a single syllable that my overly predictable horoscope tells me. Thank you for the genius advice.
9 You will upset someone
This always makes me laugh. A lot!
10 Love is just around the corner
Actually this has happened to me! I read this once in some very reliable magazine. I got off the bus, turned a corner and bumped into a woman I knew. "Hello, love! " she said.
Can't fight fate, people ;).
The Contenders
11 The day you were born.
Literally the only thing horoscopes can actually tell you. Anything else is just complete BS/
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