Top Ten Pretentious Titles for Ordinary Jobs

The Top Ten
1 Transparent Wall Visual Integrity Engineer (Window Cleaner)

Sounds pretty exciting!

2 Customer Relations and Finance Co-ordinator (Checkout Operator)
3 Tabloid Distribution Executive (Paperboy/girl)
4 Produce Management Coordinator (Shelf Stacker)
5 Leakage Technician (Plumber)

Thought that was a urologist:).

6 Sanitation Inspector (Cleaner)
7 Egress Facilitator (Bouncer)
8 Distribution Coordinator (Delivery Driver)
9 Recycling Operative (Bin Man)
10 Domestic Engineer (Housewife/Husband)
The Contenders
11 Mop Operator (Cleaner)

Haha, "Mop Operator" brilliant.

12 Door Coordinator (Doorman)
13 Surplus Currency Adjuster (Panhandler)
14 Permanent Residence Construction Engineer (Grave Digger)
15 Entrance Facilitator (Doorkeeper)
16 Treasurer (Cashier)
17 Caloric Reclamation Officer (Dumpster Diver)
18 Advocate for the Existentially Challenged (Social Worker)
19 Avian Couturier (Chicken Plucker)
20 Endocrinal Regulation Technician (Hooker)

ENDOCRINAL REGULATION TECHNICIAN URGENTLY REQUIRED: Some previous experience required, although not essential. Successful applicant must be sociable and willing to meet new people, leading to build up a regular clientele, and you must be flexible with this demanding but often exciting position. Hours to suit. Uniform provided when required. Excellent commission. Interested applicants should apply to: Lacey Nickers, Pros R Us, Ladies Lane for imminent start.

I couldn't help but laugh yesterday evening when in a taxi, we stopped for red lights outside a run-down building with rows of bikes outside. Two scantily-clad females who looked a little worse-for- wear stepped outside and lit up a cigarette. Nothing funny about this...yet. What made me laugh was the sign above the door: Used Bikes For Sale. Is this the new, arrest-avoiding terminology for "Brothel"? I couldn't help but laugh.

21 Mobility Facilitator (Car Thief)

MOBILITY FACILITATOR REQUIRED: The successful applicant must lack human decency and a conscience. No previous experience necessary as full training given. Flexible hours to suit. Wages in cigarettes, drugs and alcohol. Guaranteed job satisfaction. Anyone interested in this position should apply to Robin Carrs, care of Her Majesty's Prison, Idiotsville. Post haste.

22 Recreational Intermediary (Pimp)
23 Presidential Portrait Artist (Counterfeiter)
24 Prophet (Preacher/Pastor)

I am Joseph Smith and you will call me a prophet.

25 Ambassador to God (Pastor/Preacher)
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