Top 10 Profoundly Weird Questions that Certain Video Games Will Answer for You

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The Top Ten

1 "What if there was a game where I could re-enact Godzilla inside the brain of a giant mutated (male) lungfish named Linda and relive all of my childhood nightmares about bloody meat circuses and suburban Lovecraft abominations?" - Psychonauts
2 "What if there was a pet-simulation game where the pet was a freakishly mutated alien tadpole with the face and voice of Leonard Nimoy (Spock) from Star Trek?" - Seaman
3 "What if Conker's Pocket Tales became one of the most vulgar and violent games ever made and featured a giant opera-singing pile of cow poo?" - Conker's Bad Fur Day
4 "What if the Parappa devs took (at least) three times more LSD than normal, mixed it with crack and then made the main protagonist an anthro sheep guitarist harlot that literally everyone in the game wants to have sex with?" - Um Jammer Lammy
5 "What if Jesus were to work his musical career as a Microsoft-Sam-voiced biblical rapper in a ladybug costume?" - Tomodachi Life
6 "What if Parodius was sexualized to the point of having an actual boss fight against a giant buck-naked tanuki with massive, tantalizingly soft and dangling family jewels to match?" - Sexy Parodius
7 "What if GLaDOS were to suddenly become overthrown and transformed into a sentient, artificially intelligent potato by a giant robotic eyeball voiced by Stephen Merchant?" - Portal 2
8 "What would a giant alien spider look like with an equally giant dangling nut- err, egg sack?" - Half-Life
9 "What if turkeys could simultaneously twerk like Miley Cyrus and have butts like Nicki Minaj?" - Miitopia
10 "What if there was a professionally made game where the final boss is literally a giant wall with a face on it?" - Doom 2: Hell On Earth

The Contenders

11 "What if there was a blue man who stars in a running game, therefore challenging Mario and his jumping games?" - Sonic the Hedgehog series
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Top Remixes

1. "What if there was a game where I could re-enact Godzilla inside the brain of a giant mutated (male) lungfish named Linda and relive all of my childhood nightmares about bloody meat circuses and suburban Lovecraft abominations?" - Psychonauts
2. "What if there was a pet-simulation game where the pet was a freakishly mutated alien tadpole with the face and voice of Leonard Nimoy (Spock) from Star Trek?" - Seaman
3. "What if Conker's Pocket Tales became one of the most vulgar and violent games ever made and featured a giant opera-singing pile of cow poo?" - Conker's Bad Fur Day
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