Top 10 Punch-Out Quotes

My personal favorite character lines from the Punch-Out series
The Top Ten
1 "RELEASE THE BOGUS!" - Super Macho Man

In laymen's terms, release a bunch of random tabloid articles about his largely made-up personal life shenanigans

2 "Me? Germanic Efficiency! You? WINDMILL!" - Von Kaiser

Well, at least Mac would be more environmentally friendly in that case

3 "Hey Mac, what's your favorite type of flower? Mine's chocolate" - Doc Louis

Just when you thought his Wii incarnation couldn't be more of a stereotype

4 "Ya probably have CHEESEBURGERS in those gloves, have ye Mac?!" - Aran Ryan

Yes, they're Big Macs courtesy of Super Nintendo Punch-Out; thanks for asking

5 "Tell this kid to come back after drinking his mother's milk!" - Great Tiger

Even the creators of Ren & Stimpy and Rocko's Modern Life would blush (if they knew what he was saying)

6 "COMBAT BOOTS!" - Von Kaiser

Which he addresses the presence of for no apparent reason and also shines in-between matches for no apparent reason

7 "My barber didn't know when to quit; do you?" - Bald Bull

Funny because it reveals the true origin of his baldness and also highlights the fact that the game's absolutely LUDICROUS World Circuit difficulty spike happens right after this fight (and Piston Honda's rematch)

8 "My doctor declared that you are bad for my health" - Glass Joe

It is so true. If you think about it, it makes perfect sense, you ARE hurting him so it is bad for his health. I laughed for 10 years straight, my wife left me and took the kids, and now I'm dead! Each word was made by God himself. My favorite quote ever is now this. "Life is about making an impact, not making an income. --Kevin Kruse." "Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. –Napoleon Hill." What are those, made by babies?! But seriously, I died.

He now suddenly realizes after having literally 100 losses on his career record

9 "Be sure to get my good sides; oh, right, I only HAVE good sides!" - Super Macho Man

Well, except for the fact that he's the second most arrogant, narcissistic jerk in the entire series besides Narcis himself

10 "I will NEVER let you touch my beautiful, BEAUTIFUL face" - Narcis Prince

(cough, cough) Blatantly telling you exactly what his weakness is while also being an effeminate ponce (cough)

The Contenders
11 "I'm gonna eat YOU...for a bedtime snack! MMM" - Mr. Sandman

Yo, where the white bread at

12 "I AM A FIGHTING MACHINE! MY NAME: VON KAISER!" - Von Kaiser
13 "SUPER! MACHO! MAN!" - Super Macho Man
14 “I won’t forgive you if you hurt my face. I just won’t do it.” - Narcis Prince
15 Tell your face to leave my fists alone - Mr. Sandman
16 "Tell me, Mac; did Doc Louis ever teach you how to get SPANKED?" - Bald Bull
17 "MOMMY?!?" - Von Kaiser
18 "Wow, Mac, you were amazing! I've never seen such finger speed before!" - Tyson/Dream
19 "You're pretty like my sister!" - Aran Ryan
20 "When I woke up...it was me lying on the mat" - Dragon Chan
21 "There are many different ways to climb a hill, but only one way to swim a river!" - Doc Louis
22 "WHY! DON'T! YOU LOVE ME!?" - Super Macho Man
23 "I'm so tired; can I take a nap before the fight, please?" - Glass Joe
24 "I drink to prepare for a fight; today, I am VERY prepared!" - Soda Popinski
25 "YOU DON'T LOOK IRISH!" - Aran Ryan
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