Top Ten Best Puns

CityGuru

The Top Ten

1 Did you hear about the guy who cut off his left side? He's all right, now.

Poor guy. - TriggerTrashKid

Oh, I get it

This is something I can imagine my friend saying - NintendoROCK3T

LOL I GET IT - TeamRocket747

1 Comment
2 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Okay, now that's a good pun! - BorisRule

I hear this one a lot. And it never gets old. Even without time dilation. - PositronWildhawk

I love this - TwilightKitsune

Let's FLOOOAAT! - TriggerTrashKid

3 Why does Santa Claus have a stomach like a bowl full of jelly? Because, "Tis the season to be jelly, falalalala, lalala"

This is cringeworthy. - TriggerTrashKid

Weird for a Christmas season! - BorisRule

I think these are more like riddles. - VeganTurtle

Most of these are really bad. Sometimes puns are so cringe-inducing that they're funny, but these are just plain bad.

1 Comment
4 There was a man named Mr. Bang. When he was younger, his girlfriend went "Out with a bang."

So basically, she came out on top? - RogerMcBaloney

Bleh. Terrible. - TriggerTrashKid

I don't get it.

5 In 1824, a shipment of fruit was sent down the Erie Canal. It was the first water mailin'

Which fruit? Jackfruit? I'm outta here. - TriggerTrashKid

6 I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me

Ouch.

7 I don't trust these stairs, because they are always up to something.

Well, they are up to the store. The boogeyman lives there! OHMIGASH! - TriggerTrashKid

8 Sign language is very handy.

Lol. - TriggerTrashKid

9 It is pointless to write with a broken pencil.

Oh thanks for telling. I am going to erase what I wrote with a broken pencil. - TriggerTrashKid

Makes sense! Lewd! (GAH! WRONG WORD! ) Lewlz! (That's better.) - BorisRule

10 There was a man who was born with only a head. One day, he woke up and found that he had a body. Excited, he ran into the street, not seeing the car. He died. One friend remarked, "He should have quit while he was a head."

The Contenders

11 One prisoner, after serving out his sentence in jail, received a paper with one dot on it. It marked the end of his sentence.

Legendary! - TriggerTrashKid

Timeless! - BorisRule

This is definitely the best. No doubt! - Kiteretsunu

Haha! - TwilightKitsune

12 Where do cops go to pee? Arrest room

Well well, I guess, this is good. - TriggerTrashKid

The only bathroom joke I would laugh. - BorisRule

Oh no, going to the bathroom gets people in jail!

13 A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
14 Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Damn! That guy threw a hard drink at me! I hate beer! - TriggerTrashKid

I'M DEAD - TeamRocket747

0h god! - BorisRule

15 Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.
16 There's always MAYhem, even in the fifth month of the year.
17 I love slime because it's goo-reat!
18 And the woodpecker said, that why I tell knock-knock jokes.
19 I've never tried eating a clock because it's time consuming!
20 The person who created the door knock won the No Bell prize
21 To whoever invented Zero: Thanks for Nothing!
22 The guy in the picture looks so sad because he was FRAMED!
23 There was a theatrical performance on puns. It was simply a play on words.
24 Thieves had broken into my house and stole everything except deodorant, hair spray, hair gel, soap and towels. Dirty Bastards.
25 My friend's bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.
26 Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy

Good one

27 I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I've put in.
28 What does a noisy pepper do? Get h'all-up-in-your-business.
29 The ghost girl wanted to put on some ma-SCARE-a to be BOO-tiful.
30 The guy had a wife and ate kids.
31 I forgot how to throw a boomerang, eventually it came back to me
32 You had such a good idea in buying your pool, we decided to pool our money to get this one!
33 I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
34 I think we need tenor more music puns on this list.
35 I know a guy named Zack, but he realized that his friend is e-ZACK-ly gay!
36 A book just fell on my head. I've only got my-shelf to blame.
37 What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.
38 A girl discovered that her violin was broken. Someone must have fiddled with it.

This one made me laugh.

39 Sherlock goes on an adventure: Sherlock Roams
40 When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA
41 I always wanted a kid named Arkan so when he sees something I can say " Hey look what Arkansas"
42 Ghost walks into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve spirits".
43 Egg-cellent! What? That didn't crack you up?
44 If someone's afraid of ghost puns, well, that's the spirit!
45 I will think about telling a joke or a pun about a nun, but that's nun of your business!
46 I’m very good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
47 My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn't concentrate.
48 If the actor quit, he lived happily ever actor.
49 I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
50 The headless ghost better stay one step a-head, or better yet, no need to get in over his head.
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List StatsCreated 9 May 2014

53 listings
5 years, 198 days old

Top Remixes (5)

1. Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.
2. There's always MAYhem, even in the fifth month of the year.
3. I love slime because it's goo-reat!
DynastiSugarPop
1. Where do cops go to pee? Arrest room
2. The person who created the door knock won the No Bell prize
3. To whoever invented Zero: Thanks for Nothing!
CatCode
1. Did you hear about the guy who cut off his left side? He's all right, now.
2. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
3. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Fandomstuck

WRemix
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