Top Ten Best Puns

CityGuru

The Top Ten

1 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

Okay, now that's a good pun! - BorisRule

I hear this one a lot. And it never gets old. Even without time dilation. - PositronWildhawk

I love this - TwilightKitsune

Let's FLOOOAAT! - TriggerTrashKid

2 Why does Santa Claus have a stomach like a bowl full of jelly? Because, "Tis the season to be jelly, falalalala, lalala"

This is cringeworthy. - TriggerTrashKid

Weird for a Christmas season! - BorisRule

I think these are more like riddles. - VeganTurtle

Most of these are really bad. Sometimes puns are so cringe-inducing that they're funny, but these are just plain bad.

V 2 Comments
3 Did you hear about the guy who cut off his left side? He's all right, now.

Poor guy. - TriggerTrashKid

Oh, I get it

This is something I can imagine my friend saying - NintendoROCK3T

LOL I GET IT - TeamRocket747

4 There was a man named Mr. Bang. When he was younger, his girlfriend went "Out with a bang."

Bleh. Terrible. - TriggerTrashKid

I don't get it.

5 In 1824, a shipment of fruit was sent down the Erie Canal. It was the first water mailin'

Which fruit? Jackfruit? I'm outta here. - TriggerTrashKid

6 I don't trust these stairs, because they are always up to something.

Well, they are up to the store. The boogeyman lives there! OHMIGASH! - TriggerTrashKid

7 There was a man who was born with only a head. One day, he woke up and found that he had a body. Excited, he ran into the street, not seeing the car. He died. One friend remarked, "He should have quit while he was a head."
8 It is pointless to write with a broken pencil.
9 Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
10 Where do cops go to pee? Arrest room

Well well, I guess, this is good. - TriggerTrashKid

The only bathroom joke I would laugh. - BorisRule

Oh no, going to the bathroom gets people in jail!

The Contenders

11 One prisoner, after serving out his sentence in jail, received a paper with one dot on it. It marked the end of his sentence.

Legendary! - TriggerTrashKid

Timeless! - BorisRule

This is definitely the best. No doubt! - Kiteretsunu

Haha! - TwilightKitsune

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12 Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He is all right now!

Same as No. 4.

13 I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me

Ouch.

14 A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
15 Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

Damn! That guy threw a hard drink at me! I hate beer! - TriggerTrashKid

I'M DEAD - TeamRocket747

0h god! - BorisRule

16 Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.
17 Sign language is very handy.

Lol. - TriggerTrashKid

18 There's always MAYhem, even in the fifth month of the year.
19 I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
20 I love slime because it's goo-reat!
21 The person who created the door knock won the No Bell prize
22 To whoever invented Zero: Thanks for Nothing!
23 And the woodpecker said, that why I tell knock-knock jokes.
24 I've never tried eating a clock because it's time consuming!
25 Thieves had broken into my house and stole everything except deodorant, hair spray, hair gel, soap and towels. Dirty Bastards.
26 I am glad that I know sign language. It becomes pretty handy
27 The guy in the picture looks so sad because he was FRAMED!
28 There was a theatrical performance on puns. It was simply a play on words.
29 My friend's bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.
30 Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy

Good one

31 I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I've put in.
32 The guy had a wife and ate kids.
33 What does a noisy pepper do? Get h'all-up-in-your-business.
34 The ghost girl wanted to put on some ma-SCARE-a to be BOO-tiful.
35 I forgot how to throw a boomerang, eventually it came back to me
36 To write with a broken pencil is pointless

Oh thanks for telling. I am going to erase what I wrote with a broken pencil. - TriggerTrashKid

Makes sense! Lewd! (GAH! WRONG WORD! ) Lewlz! (That's better.) - BorisRule

37 You had such a good idea in buying your pool, we decided to pool our money to get this one!
38 I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
39 Shotgun wedding: wife or death

BOOM! - TriggerTrashKid

Now that's not funny! - BorisRule

40 I think we need tenor more music puns on this list.
41 I know a guy named Zack, but he realized that his friend is e-ZACK-ly gay!
42 A book just fell on my head. I've only got my-shelf to blame.
43 What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.
44 A girl discovered that her violin was broken. Someone must have fiddled with it.

This one made me laugh.

45 Sherlock goes on an adventure: Sherlock Roams
46 When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA
47 I always wanted a kid named Arkan so when he sees something I can say " Hey look what Arkansas"
48 Ghost walks into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve spirits".
49 Egg-cellent! What? That didn't crack you up?
50 If someone's afraid of ghost puns, well, that's the spirit!
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List Stats

59 listings
5 years, 39 days old

Top Remixes (5)

1. Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.
2. There's always MAYhem, even in the fifth month of the year.
3. I love slime because it's goo-reat!
DynastiSugarPop
1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
2. A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
3. Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Fandomstuck
1. Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He is all right now!
2. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
3. I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me
TheMazeRuner

WRemix
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