1 Why does Santa Claus have a stomach like a bowl full of jelly? Because, "Tis the season to be jelly, falalalala, lalala"
Most of these are really bad. Sometimes puns are so cringe-inducing that they're funny, but these are just plain bad.
You're more more than just a city guru, you're a pun guru! - Puns
I think these are more like riddles. - VeganTurtle
Weird for a Christmas season! - BorisRule
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2 There was a man named Mr. Bang. When he was younger, his girlfriend went "Out with a bang."
I don't get it.
3 Did you hear about the guy who cut off his left side? He's all right, now.
This is something I can imagine my friend saying - NintendoROCK3T
LOL I GET IT - TeamRocket747
4 In 1824, a shipment of fruit was sent down the Erie Canal. It was the first water mailin'
5 I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
I hear this one a lot. And it never gets old. Even without time dilation. - PositronWildhawk
Okay, now that's a good pun! - BorisRule
I love this - TwilightKitsune
6 There was a man who was born with only a head. One day, he woke up and found that he had a body. Excited, he ran into the street, not seeing the car. He died. One friend remarked, "He should have quit while he was a head."
7 I don't trust these stairs, because they are always up to something.
8 Where do cops go to pee? Arrest room
Oh no, going to the bathroom gets people in jail!
The only bathroom joke I would laugh. - BorisRule
9 Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He is all right now!
Same as No. 4.
10 Sign language is very handy.
11 It is pointless to write with a broken pencil.
12 One prisoner, after serving out his sentence in jail, received a paper with one dot on it. It marked the end of his sentence.
This is definitely the best. No doubt! - Kiteretsunu
Haha! - TwilightKitsune
LOL - TeamRocket747
Timeless! - BorisRule
13 I am reading a book about anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
14 I was wondering why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me
15 The person who created the door knock won the No Bell prize
16 Thieves had broken into my house and stole everything except deodorant, hair spray, hair gel, soap and towels. Dirty Bastards.
17 I am glad that I know sign language. It becomes pretty handy
18 Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
19 A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
20 There was a theatrical performance on puns. It was simply a play on words.
21 To whoever invented Zero: Thanks for Nothing!
22 My friend's bakery burned down. Now his business is toast.
23 Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I'M DEAD - TeamRocket747
0h god! - BorisRule
24 I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
25 Need an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy
26 And the woodpecker said, that why I tell knock-knock jokes.
27 The guy had a wife and ate kids.
28 I forgot how to throw a boomerang, eventually it came back to me
29 What does a noisy pepper do? Get h'all-up-in-your-business.
30 Shotgun wedding: wife or death
Now that's not funny! - BorisRule
31 To write with a broken pencil is pointless
Makes sense! Lewlz - BorisRule
32 I think we need tenor more music puns on this list.
33 You had such a good idea in buying your pool, we decided to pool our money to get this one!
34 I know a guy named Zack, but he realized that his friend is e-ZACK-ly gay!
35 What do you call a Mexican who lost his car? Carlos.
36 A girl discovered that her violin was broken. Someone must have fiddled with it.
This one made me laugh.
37 Sherlock goes on an adventure: Sherlock Roams
38 When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, UCLA
39 I always wanted a kid named Arkan so when he sees something I can say " Hey look what Arkansas"
40 Ghost walks into a bar. The barman says "We don't serve spirits".
41 Egg-cellent! What? That didn't crack you up?
42 If someone's afraid of ghost puns, well, that's the spirit!
43 I will think about telling a joke or a pun about a nun, but that's nun of your business!
44 Some people say I'm addicted to somersaults, but that's just how I roll.
45 There's always MAYhem, even in the fifth month of the year.
46 I love slime because it's goo-reat!
47 I've never tried eating a clock because it's time consuming!
48 The guy in the picture looks so sad because he was FRAMED!
49 I can't believe they fired me from the clock factory after all the extra hours I've put in.
50 The ghost girl wanted to put on some ma-SCARE-a to be BOO-tiful.