Top Ten Quirky Quotations About Christmas

The Top Ten

1 A Merry Christmas to all of my friends except two. (W. C. Fields)

2 My husband is the cheapest man alive. On Christmas Eve, he puts the kids to bed, fires one shot, and tells them Santa has committed suicide. (Phyllis Diller)

So Santa commits suicide every year...

3 I'm walking backwards for Christmas across the Irish Sea. (Spike Milligan, from I'm Walking Backwards For Christmas)

4 I am a poor man, but I would gladly give ten shillings to find out who sent the insulting Christmas card I received this morning. (George Grossmith)

5 Christmas begins about the first of December with an office party and ends when you finally realize what you spent, around April fifteenth of the next year. (P. J. O'Rourke)

6 A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. (Garrison Keillor)

7 There are six evacuated children in our house. My wife and I hate them so much that we have decided to take away something from them this Christmas! (Anonymous)

8 'That's why they call it a sanity clause.' 'You can't fool me. There ain't no Sanity Claus.' (The Marx Brothers)

9 Christmas, that time of year when people descend into the bunker of the family. (Byron Rogers)

10 Be nice to yu turkeys dis Christmas, don't eat it, keep it alive, it could be yu mate and not on yu plate say, Yo! Turkey I'm on your side. (Benjamin Zephaniah, from Talking Turkeys!!)

The Contenders

11 "Bah! Humbug!" - Charles Dickens, from A Christmas Carol

Surely the most famous Christmas quote of all time.

BAdd New Item