Top Ten Best Quotes by the Gravity Falls Character Stan Pines

Minecraftcrazy530
If you are a Gravity Falls fan, you have to agree that Grunkle Stan has some funny and interesting quotes. Pick your favorite!

The Top Ten

1 "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"

I remember when he said this. - cosmo

One of the best moments in girlfriend

Best quote ever

I love this quote so much! 😙 I've seen it as a number one on so many sites and I agree with everyone who said that! #I'M GRAVITY FALLS' BIGGEST FAN! 😍😜😎😙😘�"😳🐱💑💏💙💛😏😆😋

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2 "Hey, wanna hear a joke? Okay, here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better!"

I love this one so much

How is this not #1

So far, the funniest quote I ever heard from Grunkle Stan.

You see, it’s funny because marriage is terrible.

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3 "Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!!!"

Stan in a Nutshell

My type of parent - GlassweighanCountess

I loved this quote so much this should really be number 1, stan pines is literally more than just a gruncle

HA!

4 "Remember folks, we put the 'fun' in 'No Refunds!'"

Classic

5 "You know studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder!"

I love this entire list! Proud to say I recognized every quote =) - keycha1n

GOOD IDEA!

Genius

Seriously there are a crap ton more stab quotes. Like how he said he would educate kids in the stanchurian candidate.
“Put then on an island and make them fight for dominance! Also teach kids swears. That’ll introduce them to the real world! ”

6 "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible Sack of Mystery. When you put your money in it, it mysteriously disappears!"

I remember this one... It's hysterical! - Turkeyasylum

7 "Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac vacuum? Stan-Vac: it sucks more than anything!"
8 "What? No! My crime is a lot better than that. I'm gonna get that seat and be ready at the morning when Gideon comes. And maybe I'll destroy some pool supplies. Night's still young."
9 "Finally! A good reason to punch a teenager in the face!"

Stan sure does like punching people... - ethanmeinster

Any reason is a good reason to punch a teenager in the face - GlassweighanCountess

...and triangles

FIGHT,FIGHT,FIGHT!

10 Yes! Burn the child!

Funny

HAHA

The Newcomers

? Yes, yes! Burn the child.
? Sometimes, I think. Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?

I was shocked this one wasn’t already on the list! Good thing I put it up...

The Contenders

11 "Waiter, give me a glass of the strongest, most expired apple cider you've got."

It's jokes like these that really get me rolling on the floor... Just so unexpected on a Disney show! - keycha1n

12 Not so fast, kids! There is no way you're setting off those dangerous, illegal fireworks…without me!
13 Can I have my hands back? I have a gesture I'd like to share with you.

I love this scene! LOL

14 Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em.
15 Well, I learned nothing.

Isn't that a dipper quote?

This will be my senior quote

16 "AH! Hot Belgium Waffles! Wait... I'm alone. I can swear for real! SON OF A--"

Every parent in a nutshell

17 "The author of the journals. My brother!"

I flipping died on the inside when I heard this! I had so many theories who the author could be, but I would never have expected this! Does Gideon know?!

God damn it Stan! - dipperpinesfangirl618

18 You're a real wise guy but you made one fatal mistake, you messed with my family!

Ya go get bill!

19 "Mabel, look into my eyes! Do you really think I'm a bad guy?"

It's so sad I don't think he's a bad guy

I NEED STAN IN MY HOUSE!

20 Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!
21 You think that you got problems Stanford, I have a mullet
22 You did what was right even when no one agreed with you, sounds pretty manly to me, but what do I know?
23 "I'm giving none of this to charity!"

I LAUGH out loud reading this! - dipperpinesfangirl618

24 I'll have you know duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over children's heads!

So, Ducktective is a Gravity Falls within Gravity Falls then. - Skullkid755

I am like Stan instead of ducktective its graity falls.

25 That's right, I'm a jerk!
26 Ha! Bag check for Dippers’ eyes! Ha, anyone?
27 Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax figure of himself
28 Hey Mr. Tummy

Ohmigod this was THE BEST scene ever. - AnonymousChick

29 It all starts with the pituitary gland, it may be little but it has biiiig plans

When Mabel gets the Birds and the Bees... Intended for Dipper.

Oh, carpet

30 Pabracadabra! Final answer!
31 It's not my fault your pig is potentially delicious.

Lol! - dipperpinesfangirl618

32 Traffic safety laws: prepared to be disobeyed!
33 What is that... Crombie?... Crombie... That's not even a word......... you're losin' your mind...
34 Just bonk him over the head! It’s nature’s snooze button
35 Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t buy the pig
36 Butt-truss!

Haha

BUTTRESS

37 I'm fine with leaving this ya-whoo in here if it's fine with you!
38 Is that a lady bug? Oh NO
39 Darn beautiful men...Always...Always eating outta my trash...Wait, what???
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List Stats

200 votes
41 listings
3 years, 245 days old

Top Remixes (6)

1. "Remember folks, we put the 'fun' in 'No Refunds!'"
2. "Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!!!"
3. Can I have my hands back? I have a gesture I'd like to share with you.
ButterBoy
1. Not so fast, kids! There is no way you're setting off those dangerous, illegal fireworks…without me!
2. "You know studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder!"
3. "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"
AliciaMae
1. "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"
2. "Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!!!"
3. "Remember folks, we put the 'fun' in 'No Refunds!'"
nintendofan126

WRemix
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