Top Ten Best Quotes by the Gravity Falls Character Stan Pines

Minecraftcrazy530
If you are a Gravity Falls fan, you have to agree that Grunkle Stan has some funny and interesting quotes. Pick your favorite!

The Top Ten

1 "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"

I remember when he said this. - cosmo

One of the best moments in girlfriend

Best quote ever

I love this quote so much! 😙 I've seen it as a number one on so many sites and I agree with everyone who said that! #I'M GRAVITY FALLS' BIGGEST FAN! 😍😜😎😙😘�"😳🐱💑💏💙💛😏😆😋

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2 "Hey, wanna hear a joke? Okay, here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better!"

I love this one so much

How is this not #1

So far, the funniest quote I ever heard from Grunkle Stan.

You see, it’s funny because marriage is terrible.

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3 "Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!!!"

Stan in a Nutshell

My type of parent - GlassweighanCountess

I loved this quote so much this should really be number 1, stan pines is literally more than just a gruncle

HA!

4 "Remember folks, we put the 'fun' in 'No Refunds!'"

Classic

5 "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible Sack of Mystery. When you put your money in it, it mysteriously disappears!"

I remember this one... It's hysterical! - Turkeyasylum

6 "You know studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder!"

I love this entire list! Proud to say I recognized every quote =) - keycha1n

GOOD IDEA!

Seriously there are a crap ton more stab quotes. Like how he said he would educate kids in the stanchurian candidate.
“Put then on an island and make them fight for dominance! Also teach kids swears. That’ll introduce them to the real world! ”

7 "Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac vacuum? Stan-Vac: it sucks more than anything!"
8 "What? No! My crime is a lot better than that. I'm gonna get that seat and be ready at the morning when Gideon comes. And maybe I'll destroy some pool supplies. Night's still young."
9 "Finally! A good reason to punch a teenager in the face!"

Stan sure does like punching people... - ethanmeinster

Any reason is a good reason to punch a teenager in the face - GlassweighanCountess

...and triangles

FIGHT,FIGHT,FIGHT!

10 Yes! Burn the child!

Funny

HAHA

The Newcomers

? Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t buy the pig

The Contenders

11 "Waiter, give me a glass of the strongest, most expired apple cider you've got."

It's jokes like these that really get me rolling on the floor... Just so unexpected on a Disney show! - keycha1n

12 Not so fast, kids! There is no way you're setting off those dangerous, illegal fireworks…without me!
13 Can I have my hands back? I have a gesture I'd like to share with you.

I love this scene! LOL

14 Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em.
15 "The author of the journals. My brother!"

I flipping died on the inside when I heard this! I had so many theories who the author could be, but I would never have expected this! Does Gideon know?!

God damn it Stan! - dipperpinesfangirl618

16 Well, I learned nothing.

Isn't that a dipper quote?

This will be my senior quote

17 You're a real wise guy but you made one fatal mistake, you messed with my family!

Ya go get bill!

18 "AH! Hot Belgium Waffles! Wait... I'm alone. I can swear for real! SON OF A--"

Every parent in a nutshell

19 "Mabel, look into my eyes! Do you really think I'm a bad guy?"

It's so sad I don't think he's a bad guy

I NEED STAN IN MY HOUSE!

20 Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!
21 You did what was right even when no one agreed with you, sounds pretty manly to me, but what do I know?
22 "I'm giving none of this to charity!"

I LAUGH out loud reading this! - dipperpinesfangirl618

23 I'll have you know duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over children's heads!

So, Ducktective is a Gravity Falls within Gravity Falls then. - Skullkid755

I am like Stan instead of ducktective its graity falls.

24 You think that you got problems Stanford, I have a mullet
25 That's right, I'm a jerk!
26 Ha! Bag check for Dippers’ eyes! Ha, anyone?
27 Hey Mr. Tummy

Ohmigod this was THE BEST scene ever. - AnonymousChick

28 It all starts with the pituitary gland, it may be little but it has biiiig plans

When Mabel gets the Birds and the Bees... Intended for Dipper.

Oh, carpet

29 Pabracadabra! Final answer!
30 It's not my fault your pig is potentially delicious.

Lol! - dipperpinesfangirl618

31 Traffic safety laws: prepared to be disobeyed!
32 What is that... Crombie?... Crombie... That's not even a word......... you're losin' your mind...
33 Just bonk him over the head! It’s nature’s snooze button
34 Butt-truss!

Haha

BUTTRESS

35 I'm fine with leaving this ya-whoo in here if it's fine with you!
36 Is that a lady bug? Oh NO
37 Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax figure of himself
38 Darn beautiful men...Always...Always eating outta my trash...Wait, what???
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List Stats

200 votes
39 listings
3 years, 182 days old

Top Remixes (6)

1. "Remember folks, we put the 'fun' in 'No Refunds!'"
2. "Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!!!"
3. Can I have my hands back? I have a gesture I'd like to share with you.
ButterBoy
1. Not so fast, kids! There is no way you're setting off those dangerous, illegal fireworks…without me!
2. "You know studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder!"
3. "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"
AliciaMae
1. "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"
2. "Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!!!"
3. "Remember folks, we put the 'fun' in 'No Refunds!'"
nintendofan126

WRemix
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