Top Ten Best Stan Pine Quotes from Gravity Falls

If you are a Gravity Falls fan, you have to agree that Grunkle Stan has some funny and interesting quotes. Pick your favorite!

The Top Ten

1 "When there's no cops around, anything's legal!"

This is gonna be my senior quote

One of the best moments in girlfriend

I remember when he said this. - cosmo

Best quote ever

2 "Hey, wanna hear a joke? Okay, here goes. My ex-wife still misses me...but her aim is gettin' better!"

I love this one so much

I say this all the time

How is this not #1

So far, the funniest quote I ever heard from Grunkle Stan.

3 "Sounds like something a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing... Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids! AVENGE ME!!!"

Stan in a Nutshell

I loved this quote so much this should really be number 1, stan pines is literally more than just a gruncle

HA!

This is what I’ll say when I’m an uncle

4 "Remember folks, we put the 'fun' in 'No Refunds!'"

Classic

5 "You know studies show that keeping a ladder in the house is more dangerous than a loaded gun. That's why I own 10 guns. In case some maniac tries to sneak in with a ladder!"

I love this entire list! Proud to say I recognized every quote =) - keycha1n

I can relate to this.

GOOD IDEA!

Genius

6 "For tonight's final illusion, we have the incredible Sack of Mystery. When you put your money in it, it mysteriously disappears!"

I remember this one... It's hysterical! - Turkeyasylum

7 "Sir, would you like to buy a Stan-Vac vacuum? Stan-Vac: it sucks more than anything!"
8 "What? No! My crime is a lot better than that. I'm gonna get that seat and be ready at the morning when Gideon comes. And maybe I'll destroy some pool supplies. Night's still young."
9 "Finally! A good reason to punch a teenager in the face!"

Stan sure does like punching people... - ethanmeinster

...and triangles

FIGHT,FIGHT,FIGHT!

10 Yes, yes! Burn the child.

Out of context this is horrifying. With context this is horrifying. This is genius.

Funny

The Contenders

11 Can I have my hands back? I have a gesture I'd like to share with you.

I love this scene! LOL

Yep.

12 "Waiter, give me a glass of the strongest, most expired apple cider you've got."

It's jokes like these that really get me rolling on the floor... Just so unexpected on a Disney show! - keycha1n

13 Not so fast, kids! There is no way you're setting off those dangerous, illegal fireworks…without me!
14 Who wants Stan-cakes? They're like pancakes, but they probably have some of my hair in 'em.
15 "AH! Hot Belgium Waffles! Wait... I'm alone. I can swear for real! SON OF A--"

Every parent in a nutshell

16 Well, I learned nothing.

It's the quote Stan says when they're leaving the hand witch's house

This will be my senior quote

Isn't that a dipper quote?

17 "The author of the journals. My brother!"

When they showed this scene, I screamed until the next episode came out.

I flipping died on the inside when I heard this! I had so many theories who the author could be, but I would never have expected this! Does Gideon know?!

God damn it Stan! - dipperpinesfangirl618

18 Sometimes, I think. Is this all there is? Is life just some kind of horrific joke without a punch line? That we're all just biding our time until the sweet, sweet, release of death?

I was shocked this one wasn’t already on the list! Good thing I put it up...

MY PEE PEE HARDENS WHEN I LOOK AT STAN PINES SMECKSY MAN TIDDIES

19 Kids! I can't find the remote and I refuse to stand up!
20 You're a real wise guy but you made one fatal mistake, you messed with my family!

Ya go get bill!

21 "Mabel, look into my eyes! Do you really think I'm a bad guy?"

It's so sad I don't think he's a bad guy

I NEED STAN IN MY HOUSE!

22 You think that you got problems Stanford, I have a mullet
23 You did what was right even when no one agreed with you, sounds pretty manly to me, but what do I know?
24 Sometimes a man has to steal an animatronic raccoon to stay in this crazy game called life.
25 It all starts with the pituitary gland, it may be little but it has biiiig plans

Soos Says some-I LOVE MABEL says me not... not soos

When Mabel gets the Birds and the Bees... Intended for Dipper.

Oh, carpet

26 That's right, I'm a jerk!
27 Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax figure of himself
28 "I'm giving none of this to charity!"

I LAUGH out loud reading this! - dipperpinesfangirl618

29 Darn beautiful men...Always...Always eating outta my trash...Wait, what???
30 I'll have you know duck-tective has a big mystery element! And a lot of humor that goes over children's heads!

So, Ducktective is a Gravity Falls within Gravity Falls then. - Skullkid755

I am like Stan instead of ducktective its graity falls.

31 It's not my fault your pig is potentially delicious.
32 Ha! Bag check for Dippers’ eyes! Ha, anyone?
33 What is that... Crombie?... Crombie... That's not even a word......... you're losin' your mind...
34 Just bonk him over the head! It’s nature’s snooze button
35 Kids, if I die, make sure I get a bigger tombstone than Ford.

Its funny because twins and siblings in general are always fighting.

36 Hey Mr. Tummy

Ohmigod this was THE BEST scene ever. - AnonymousChick

37 Pabracadabra! Final answer!
38 Traffic safety laws: prepared to be disobeyed!
39 Is that a lady bug? Oh NO

It is funny

40 Yeah, maybe you shouldn’t buy the pig
41 I will pardon nothing!
42 Money!!!!

This scene Lol!

Ford was like what and everyone else was like this is normal

From "the last mablecorn"

43 Soos, would it be wrong to punch a child?
44 Butt-truss!

Haha

BUTTRESS

45 I'm fine with leaving this ya-whoo in here if it's fine with you!
46 Mable Sweetie. Can You Make Your Grunkle Stan Some Hands?
47 Fight, fight, fight
48 Being loved by the youth is overrated, being feared...that's priceless
49 Rich, I'm a simple man. So I'm gonna take my winnings, pack my bags, and Bet them all on the bonus word!
50 They’re slow, I can probably take a few down
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