Top 10 Ralph Wiggum Quotes


The Top Ten

1 Me fail English? That's unpossible.

My fave. But no quotes from earlier episodes like "What man can tame her" (Lisa's Pony) "that's candle wax" Ralph telling Homer he is eating candle wax.

This is the best one, by far

I think you missed "I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there" when he was talking to Lisa. But this one's hilarious

2 I wanna be a triangle.

Bart: you’re not invited


3 Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers

It is the best quote because the guy's name is "Super Intendant Chalmers" and he has obviously changed to something that rhymes with the name "Super Nintendo Chalmers" lol

Don't worrym He's learnding - SpectralOwl

4 My cat's breath smells like cat food.

This is something that keeps me alive in the mornings

Another classic Ralph quote

This was my message on an answering machine. It confused people.

I say this quote often

5 That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.
6 My grandma had hair like that when she went to sleep in her forever box.

It’s funny and my friend thinks so

The best

Yes! Should be number 1

7 I'm learnding!
8 My imaginary friend thinks you're stupid
9 When I grow up, I want to be a principal, or a caterpillar!
10 I bent my Wookie

It is random


The Contenders

11 When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University

Well, he is as dumb as a cow, so guess that makes sense - SpectralOwl


12 This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end.


13 And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.


14 I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers.

Lisa Simpson is a girl at my school

Best quote ever, it really made me laugh! This guy is unbelievable! In my opinion this one should be the first place

Lol so good

15 That made sour juice come out of my front tail

This made me laugh for three minutes straight

Ralph Wiggum is BOSS

16 Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.

Best Ralph quote ever

17 I glued my head to my shoulder

Common! I was actually looking for that specific quote. it has to be his best!

18 I like men now

I don't think they will get fed up and decide to finish the Simpsons unless any of the voice actors Homer or Marge or Bart or Lisa pass away. But there is going to be a sequel of the movie.

The movie. When they get fed up and decide to finish the Simpsons I think they should do a sequel before the last season.

Ralph is a good character - Liz Anya

This was where I lost it YeS THIS SHOULD BE THE TOP!

1 Comment
19 I'm in danger

Best meme ever

20 I'm a Unitard

He is the boss

21 I choo-choo-choose you

On the card. "You Choo-Choo Choose me? "

22 My daddy shoots people

Lol I love ralph also I'm finding nemo.

23 Daddy's gun tastes like pennies!
24 I'm a fatality
25 I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
26 Go banana
27 I drink blue juice from under the sink!
28 I finished before we came in

Ha-ha you wet your pants

29 All of my friends have birthdays this year!
30 Candles taste like burning.
31 Now there's two types of wet in my pants
32 Somebody should iron you!
33 I'm a furniture
34 I had a dream where Elmo and Toy Story had a party and I went there.
35 If mommy's purse didn't belong in the microwave, why did it fit?
36 Why do people run away from me
37 I eat the crumbs on my head
38 Somebody took my juice money
39 I eated the purple berries. They taste like burning!
40 I'm a brick!
41 Do the people my daddy shoots go to heaven?
42 I only fell out two times
43 I want to go back in mommy
44 Dear wife, if I could take but one treasure with me to the next life it would be your tender kiss.

Ralph isn't really that dumb, he was just dumbed down more and more to make him more funny.

45 I want back in!

Where Ralph tries to go back where he came from on the episode the book job

46 That is so 1991
47 My mommy says I'm special
48 Wait, mister. You're drinking a candle. You don't want wax in your mouth, do you?
49 Can you open my milk Mommy?

Early Ralph when kids might accidentally say that.

50 I'm a star wars
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List StatsCreated 3 Dec 2010

400 votes
51 listings
8 years, 347 days old

Top Remixes

1. When I grow up, I want to be a principal, or a caterpillar!
2. I bent my Wookie
3. When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University
1. Me fail English? That's unpossible.
2. I wanna be a triangle.
3. I'm learnding!
1. Me fail English? That's unpossible.
2. Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers
3. That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.


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