Top 10 Ralph Wiggum Quotes

The Top Ten

1 Me fail English? That's unpossible.

I think you missed "I wouldn't have so many nosebleeds if I kept my finger out of there" when he was talking to Lisa. But this one's hilarious

My fave. But no quotes from earlier episodes like "What man can tame her" (Lisa's Pony) "that's candle wax" Ralph telling Homer he is eating candle wax.

This is the best one, by far

Just wow

2 I wanna be a triangle.


Bart: you’re not invited

3 Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers

It is the best quote because the guy's name is "Super Intendant Chalmers" and he has obviously changed to something that rhymes with the name "Super Nintendo Chalmers" lol

Haha super nintendo

Don't worrym He's learnding - SpectralOwl

4 My cat's breath smells like cat food.

I say this quote often

I throw this one out as often as anything else in my lexicon. It's important people know.

This was my message on an answering machine. It confused people.

This is something that keeps me alive in the mornings

5 That's where I saw the leprechaun. He told me to burn things.
6 My grandma had hair like that when she went to sleep in her forever box.

Yes! Should be number 1

The best

It’s funny and my friend thinks so

7 My imaginary friend thinks you're stupid
8 I'm learnding!

I don't think so

9 I bent my Wookie

How do you even do that?

Wookie sounds like grookey

It is random

10 When I grow up, I want to be a principal, or a caterpillar!

The Contenders

11 When I grow up I'm going to Bovine University

Well, he is as dumb as a cow, so guess that makes sense - SpectralOwl


12 This is my sandbox, I'm not allowed to go in the deep end.

Where is the deep end?

13 And, when the doctor said I didn't have worms any more, that was the happiest day of my life.
14 I cheated wrong. I copied the Lisa name and used the Ralph answers.

Best quote ever, it really made me laugh! This guy is unbelievable! In my opinion this one should be the first place

Lol so good

Lisa Simpson is a girl at my school

15 That made sour juice come out of my front tail

Ralph Wiggum is BOSS

This made me laugh for three minutes straight


16 Um, Miss Hoover? There's a dog in the vent.

Best Ralph quote ever

woof woof

I wish

17 I glued my head to my shoulder

Common! I was actually looking for that specific quote. it has to be his best!

18 I'm in danger

Best meme ever

19 I like men now

I don't think they will get fed up and decide to finish the Simpsons unless any of the voice actors Homer or Marge or Bart or Lisa pass away. But there is going to be a sequel of the movie.

The movie. When they get fed up and decide to finish the Simpsons I think they should do a sequel before the last season.

Ralph is a good character - Liz Anya

This is by far the best one!

20 I choo-choo-choose you

On the card. "You Choo-Choo Choose me? "

yes - yee23456765

21 I'm a Unitard

He is the boss

[cont'd] unicorn + retard = unitard

22 Daddy's gun tastes like pennies!
23 Now there's two types of wet in my pants

Disgusting but I burst out laughing


24 My daddy shoots people

Lol I love ralph also I'm finding nemo.

25 I heard your dad went into a restaurant and ate everything in the restaurant and they had to close the restaurant.
26 I drink blue juice from under the sink!

Just plain comedy from a hilarious character

27 Candles taste like burning.
28 I'm a fatality
29 I finished before we came in

Ha-ha you wet your pants


30 All of my friends have birthdays this year!
31 Go banana
32 I want to go back in mommy


33 I had a dream where Elmo and Toy Story had a party and I went there.
34 Somebody should iron you!
35 I'm a furniture
36 If mommy's purse didn't belong in the microwave, why did it fit?
37 Why do people run away from me
38 Can you open my milk Mommy?

That would be the most embarrassing thing I would ever say in kindergarten

Early Ralph when kids might accidentally say that.

39 I eat the crumbs on my head
40 Somebody took my juice money
41 I eated the purple berries. They taste like burning!
42 I'm a brick!
43 Do the people my daddy shoots go to heaven?
44 I only fell out two times
45 That is so 1991
46 My mommy says I'm special
47 Dear wife, if I could take but one treasure with me to the next life it would be your tender kiss.

Ralph isn't really that dumb, he was just dumbed down more and more to make him more funny.

48 I'm a star wars
49 I want back in!

Where Ralph tries to go back where he came from on the episode the book job

50 Wait, mister. You're drinking a candle. You don't want wax in your mouth, do you?
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