Top Ten Random and Funny Things to Shout Out In a Posh Dining Room

PositronWildhawk
This is the list that Britgirl and I collaborated on, as suggested by an anonymous TopTenner in a list of members who should collaborate. You can all guess who came up with what.

The Top Ten

1 How dare you fart before my wife?!?! Had you no idea it was her turn first?!?!

I had to put this one in first. I just had to. - PositronWildhawk

Poor Wife she didn't get to fart.

I LOST MY LUNGS!

2 Interesting how this omelette smells so strong, and how small they cut the carrots

It's the one thing that they won't take as a compliment, right? Laugh out loud! - PositronWildhawk

3 Jeeves! Jeeves! There's a fly in my soup, old boy. Is this some kind of a joke?!

Say in a posh english accent! Then it will add to joke! Jeeves and Wooster, right?

4 Doesn't Burger King run this place?

Exactly! Load me up on those chicken fries! - ethanmeinster

5 Yes, of course I want my morning tea, Jeeves. What did you think I wanted, sarcasm on toast?!
6 I eat a lot! Why d'ya think my shin bones keep going?

Haha! This made me laugh, PositronWildhawk! This was the last one, wasn't it? Genius! - Britgirl

And as s/he walks off, you hear unpleasant squelching noises. - PositronWildhawk

7 Is that the loo or the kitchen?
8 I did a crap the size of a small tug-boat this morning, daahling!

Laugh out loud Awesome! Can't guess which of you two came up with though, but it's funny!

This one was hers. Made me laugh a lot. - PositronWildhawk

Haha laugh out loud.

9 Dread to think what dessert will be like...
10 Why are there so many naked pictures of you on the Internet?

Who added this?! Please 'fess up. I want to thank you personally. Most amusing. Can imagine this being asked aloud while surrounded by genteel folk and an aura which oozes decorum. Haha! - Britgirl

I agree. This one was hilarious. - PositronWildhawk

i did

The Contenders

11 Is that a coffin? Does it come after the soup?

Why is this the last? This is the epitome of funny. Sarcasm is good... - Britgirl

So good! I'm gonna use it the next time I'm in sn awful place.

12 I wanna lay down on the floor and pretend I'm a banana
13 Can we just go to Taco Bell I gotta take a crap and it's not going to smell pretty.
14 Penis!
15 Buttscratcher!
16 When you poop in your dreams, you poop for real.
17 So, you got cold sores, eh?
18 Sorry, do you guys know where the nearest McDonalds is?
19 Mind if I poop on my food to give it more flavor?
20 Your fly's down Jeeves
21 Where's the crisps and chips yo!?
22 How many glitter do you need to climb the moon if Jack Sparrow is a storm trooper?
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List Stats

22 listings
4 years, 363 days old

Top Remixes

1. How dare you fart before my wife?!?! Had you no idea it was her turn first?!?!
2. Interesting how this omelette smells so strong, and how small they cut the carrots
3. Jeeves! Jeeves! There's a fly in my soup, old boy. Is this some kind of a joke?!
PositronWildhawk

WRemix

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