Top Ten Random Things That Could Happen

The Top Ten Random Things That Could Happen

1 Little girls bite a black female tourist thinking that she's chocolate

I am not racist. This is a true story I heard from a friend who went to China and this friend was a black woman - bobbythebrony

This sounds a bit racist... But... It might not be. - DapperPickle

This reminds me of a movie where a little boy got turned into a living human chocolate.

Yeah, but the chance is so low that's it's not even worth a dam. - MarioMaster101

2 Teenagers throw dynamite at an elderly woman

That's horrible - Ananya

No, respect elders you lil bratz. - TriggerTrashKid

Based on Jimmy Hopkins - bobbythebrony

Never said they were lit - Randomator

3 An old man beats a goat with a shovel

I'm pretty sure you can do this in goat simulator, but the goat does it

But why? What did the goat ever do to you? - KingSlayer93316

I do this with my wife

No, that problems very big in Africa. - DapperPickle

4 A turnip asks you on a date

Oh yes, Johnston. He was a short stubby brown haired green eyed turnip. He was so ugly and obnoxious, he asked me out, and I said no because he is my friend's ex, and that is awkward, but he started crying, so I cooked him and ate him with my salad. - ToptenPizza

You never know, maybe it's someone named turnip asking you on a date! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior

You want mustard on those?

That's happened before. Only I turned her down. - PositronWildhawk

5 Someone get shot in the testicles

OUCH. "Man had to go to hospital to operate on his testicles after he got shot by police" Hope that never happens to me or someone else. TOUCH WOOD> - BloodFang

Imagine seeing that on the news: "A police officer shot a fleeing criminal in the testicles this morning." - RogerMcBaloney

It happened to someone in Brooklyn Nine Nine, except it was the butt, not the testicles so this didn't happen to someone in Brooklyn Nine Nine - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior

I did this to someone in Fortnite.

6 You see a married couple stabbing each other in a park

There are probably more chances of seeing a married couple consuming their marriage in a park. - RogerMcBaloney

I would try to break it up (and avoid serious injury), and make my companion call 911. - Cyri

Oh no, not again! - Rocko

What's so unusual about this - tgbhj

7 A monkey assaults you

Some months ago I went to a dispensary, Saw an elderly couple sitting on the seats in front of me ; The man's entire right calf was swollen, Told that he was bitten by an monkey..had 15 injections still it suppurated, the calf was yellowish though covered with medicinal dressing and crepe bandages.
Doctor said he needed 2 operations as well
Overall the man looked really fit and healthy (as well as his wife) Hope he's better now. - Ananya

This has happened many times with chimpanzees. Google "chimpanzee attack" but be forewarned the pictures are pretty gruesome.

That's most likely Justin Bieber. He cheats on women and we don't really know if he assaults women. We may not know...

Didn't that actually happen a few years ago? Monkeys supposedly are very vicious...

8 A pineapple attacks you while you're watering your spaghetti garden on the ceiling.

If this happen to you, it means, you need to take your medicine before it goes worst.

Oh yeah. Sharon, a nice pineapple, attacked me while I was watering my spaghetti garden. I honestly don't know why she did it so I put her in time out! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior

It happened to me last week. I'm still in the hospital. I'll post an update if things change. - RoseWeasley

That actually happened only it was an auberguine that attacked him.

9 You're forced to dig a hole for a bathroom

My mom told me that Asian immigrants to the US actually did this in the 70s...

If you miss then you gotta kick the turd into the hole - bobbythebrony

Out of the hole, into the hole, that's what I always say - CityGuru

Poor Chinese people - bobbythebrony

10 You get sentenced to death for failing a history exam

No fair! At least I'm an average person on history...oof...lets not fail if that was a rule! - BloodFang

Haha jokes on you, I am actually good at history. The real issue here is physics.

I failed history exam because I stole Hitler's shoe, which is the reason why I'm about to get killed. - Delgia2k

Here's a fun fact: This list was originally titled Top Ten Random Things That Could Happen in China. - bobbythebrony

The Contenders

11 You brother shows up and steals your wallet

He stole my wallet as a joke and with it my opal pass. My embarrassing mum had to drop me off! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior

What if there is no money in it?

This is why I'm not getting a wallet for a while. - Cyri

I relate

12 You found a small rock.

When I was in 2nd-4th grade I think I found a fossil on my elementary school playground?

Pioneers used to drive these for miles! - Rocko

Wow! I feel so accomplished right now - KingSlayer93316

Oh boy how exciting lol

13 Hitler Steals Your Nutella

If this happened to me I would buy more Nutella, poison it, and wait for Hitler to return.


How am I going to live now?! - KingSlayer93316

Hitler owes me Nutella then.

Not again...

14 Your head falls off without anyone beheading you

It’s actually really common. Just needs a screwdriver to screw It back on - Randomator

15 You get run over by a giant banana

Courage the cowardly dog I think... - Ananya

Don't you just hate it when that happens?

16 Get thrown into the sun by G Hannelius

That will never happen. - Gehenna

Who what when where why - fwed

17 A llama named Carl stabs you 37 times in the chest

This almost happened to me. My friend and I were taking a walk but then a llama said, "My name is Carl.", and held up his knife! I ran as fast as I could, and hid behind a dumpster. When I got out, Carl was arrested and there was a ketchup stain where my friend was. I haven't seen him in 3 days. I hope he's alright. - RoseWeasley

Is this supposed to be a reference to Jimmy Neutron?

Lol llamas with hats! - SammySpore

Wow, that is my least favourite thing to do - PatrickStar3

18 Windows 10 is a virus which blows up your computer

Internet Explorer did it - Pieclone

I'm on Windows 10!

I’m lucky I’m on an iPhone 8s right now

But I do have Windows 10 on my computer... - KingSlayer93316

19 A purple urn smashes through your biodome and crushes your photos of your deceased piano while you are swimming in your meatball pool next to your house made of jell-o

What is an urn - fwed

What? Gah not this again!

What? - KingSlayer93316

My piano boi... - CloudyDaze

20 Get eaten by the girl that play Trish on Austin and Ally

That's really mean. She's a beautiful, talented actress.

Supporting cannibalism is just so wrong though - KingSlayer93316

AH NO - IceFoxPlayz

21 Man Of Steel Eats Your Heart

My nan shanks you in you bathroom when your eating a dog

One word: Cannibalism - KingSlayer93316


22 Hot Asian women begin to surround you with big smiles

Oh my! My friend comes from India... by the way, he's a boy... hopefully this doesn't go opposite!

WOW...that would be awkward.

I would probably have an anxiety attack - KingSlayer93316

You have no idea how much times that has happened to me.

23 Be famous

Um, I'm already famous. Not to brag. But I've been on T.V., radio and in 8 newspapers across the country. And don't worry, people. I'm not an ass like Justin Bieber.

24 Your crush actually likes you

I would be the happiest man alive if this happened. - RogerMcBaloney

Yeah this is going to be fun

25 Carl from Llamas with Hats blows up the Universe

Film cow again I hope you mention Charlie the unicorn in here because I did not read the whole list yet - Oliversky


This Carl bullcrap again? - TheAwesomeDude54


26 Dead memes come back to life

This is what I pray for! I love tired memes! - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior

Meant waluigi not wal...

Here comes Dat Boi - PatrickStar3

Oh noes

27 A plane crash in your house while you are having sex


News reporter: Hello sir are you okay
Guy that had sex: Not anymore - 0w0uwu

I'd be like
Hey bro, I'm underage don't tell anyone... - PatrickStar3

I was on that plane. - Cyri

Nah, I’m forever a virgin - KingSlayer93316

28 Boltzmann Brain Randomly Appearing in Your Room from Random Fluctuations Due to Thermodynamic Equilibrium

I get this even though there is an impossibly tiny chance it would happen. Quantum flux would cause particles to form a brain that has a false memory of a full human life. Possibly, the universe would fluctuate spontaneously into a low-entropy state and would form a brain with a false memory of life. By one calculation, a Boltzmann brain would appear after 10^10^50 years as a quantum fluctuation in a vacuum. In a De Sitter vacuum, a Boltzmann brain can form via nucleation of non-virtual particles gradually assembled by chance from the Hawking radiation emitted from the de Sitter space's bounded cosmological horizon. Given enough time, every possible structure is formed via random fluctuation. Boltzmann-style thought experiments focus on structures like human brains that are presumably self-aware observers. Given any arbitrary criteria for what constitutes a Boltzmann brain (or planet, or universe), smaller structures that minimally and barely meet the criteria are vastly and ...more

Whoever submitted this must be a rocket scientist - Ryboy

I get it

29 An elephant talks and flies to Neptune

I hate being the elephant in the room
*flies to Neptune* - PatrickStar3

That is so funny - mathguy37


30 You see Dora in her underwear on a volcano

what - IceFoxPlayz


Y'all just making stuff up - Yoshidude

Dopey Dora?
Dora Spoone

31 A horse runs by yelling, "MARCO!"

Polo! - IceFoxPlayz

Is aot reference? lmfao

32 A random dude just comes up to your face and is like HERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR and then just walks away.

Me: Turns my phone's sound system to maximum and plays a Cannibal Corpse song. - RogerMcBaloney

This has happened to me - PatrickStar3

HERRR lol relatable

33 Man with wooden leg mauled by termites

Happens everyday

Smith was name his think I

34 Giants come into a train station on a giant handcar with drums and start a penalty shoot-out with the kids from your primary school

This is an actual dream I had - computerfan0

35 You See Someone Eat Ramen Noodles in the middle of a golf field

That’s something I would do, to be honest. I love ramen noodles - KingSlayer93316

They probably don’t like eating in public.

Golf field? Yeah that’s not what it’s called Lol - Randomator

36 Disney Buys Patreon

Disney is buying almost everything any way - ElSherlock

It'll be hilarious.

They’re buying Twitter next at this point - KingSlayer93316

37 Drink Bleach
38 The Sun Will Explode to a Supernova Right Now Regardless of Reason

But the Sun does not have enough mass to become a supernova. When it dies it will become a red giant star.

But I’m still here... - KingSlayer93316

39 Justin Bieber Appears in Your Bedroom

I would run so far away from my house - KingSlayer93316

If he does that my fists are gonna appear on his face. - RogerMcBaloney

40 A flying blobfish descends from the sky and becomes ruler of the world

Seems plausible



41 The highlight calls the misprint in the baking associate

Funniest list ever

42 You get kicked by a keyboard in the gonads
43 Your gonads explode

Before or after they get kicked by the keyboard?

44 Drink mud

I do this every day.

Look, it’s a puddle of chocolate milk!
Oh, wait...

45 Taylor Swift sues you because you hate her and you killed her cousin's brother's parents' grandfather's friend's doctor

More like Taylor swift sues you for killing a doctor

What? - KingSlayer93316

Um? - Randomator

CAN WE STOP - TheAwesomeDude54

46 Two waffles have sex

Will this be in Sausage Party 2, if it comes out? - KingSlayer93316

Like that YouTube video - bobbythebrony

A baby french toast - 0w0uwu

What in the ever loving bullcrap - TheAwesomeDude54

47 Random emo-looking tacos come up to you an tickle your nose

DAS MINE. I PUT DAT THERE! I don't have an account though :c

I would eat them. My nose isn’t ticklish at all - KingSlayer93316

48 Gordon Ramsay comes to your house and says "sosoge"

I would love for that to happen, to be honest - KingSlayer93316



49 Meeting 25 People in a Row, Having the Exact Same Birthdate as Yours.

What kind of sorcery is this? - oceanbreezetheawesomewarrior


50 A frog steals your house

This happened to me when I was 3 months old living in my first house that I bought.

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