Top Ten Random Things to Say After Saying the Phrase "May I Have Your Attention Please"

The Top Ten
1 Will the real Slim Shady please stand up?

If I ever become principal of a school, this is the first thing I will do

I knew this was gonna be number 1.

We're gonna have a problem here.

2 I have to go to the bathroom

In the words of Patrick.

3 If you smell something foul. that's the dead hooker in my trunk

Oh yeah, and if she has a hundred bucks in her pocket, that's mine. I want my money back.

4 I think I broke my penis

I think he will be screaming in pain and will fall on the floor crying

That must be brave of you to admit that...

Just go to the ER

5 I am required by law to tell you all that I am a sex offender
6 Where are the country girls at?
7 I have a love that I will never obtain. Please hug me?
8 I am doing a survey. How many of you lost your virginity in Antarctica?

They all lost their virginity in the International Space Station.

Well, who knows what really happened to Captain Oates?

9 I hate lobsters!
10 Why did the chicken cross the road to France? Because It wasn't a turkey and you see, a chicken is not a turkey or a Turk, It's a chicken! A French hen!

You're awesome if you know what I'm referencing

The Contenders
11 I'm a huge fan of Justin Bieber

This is the 14th most popular thing people say? Not the people on these websites...

I actually am I huge fan of Justin Bieber, so that is true.

Perfect prank for your workers!

12 My penis is considerably small

Nobody's doing it with you then

Imagine if a woman said this...

Whoever says this is brave.

13 My name is Jeff

Oh, me too! Though I'm Jeff the Killer!

14 Pepe has come home
15 Someone stole my toast, now I don't have anything to put my jam on.

Once you're older, you'll know better.
I'm sorry.

Put it on your hand and lick it off!

16 That's not how you spell Donald Trump

But I wasn't trying to say Donald Trump's

17 Mamma Mia! Here I go again!

LOL funniest one on here!

18 What are those?
19 Will the real Mitt Romney please stand up
20 I put a kid in this bag.
21 I hate broccoli!

Try it steamed.

22 I farted
23 Undertale is one of my top five favorite games of all time!
24 Why are you all here?
25 If ya smell what the rock is cooking
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