Top Ten Reasons Hair Metal is a Poser Metal Subgenre

Think metalcore/deathcore is ruining metal? Think again - hair metal bands got the job done first! Here are the reason why.

The Top Ten

1 Hair metal bands have the most ridiculous image.

Looks shouldn't matter in music. They can wear whatever they want. If you claim that metal is more about music than fashion, yet trash on bands for wearing makeup and hairspray or baggy sweatpants and baseball caps or even cut their own hair instead of the usual "manly" leather jackets and battle vests, well, you're just contradicting your claims.

Also let's be honest; do you guys really hate hair metal, or are you just trashing on it because other musicians did it back when it was popular? Hair metal has not been relevant for almost 3 decades, so what's the point in hating on it?

Who the hell cares how they dressed? Led Zep looked like a bunch of chicks too yet no one seems to care. Appearance doesn't even affect music, ya fools. Besides, some of them looked kind of cool.

You think modern metalcore/deathcore makes metal look "gay" or "girly"? Okay then. Let's have a look at Motley Crue, Twisted Sister, Jackal, Cinderella, any hair metal band... A bunch of dudes with girly hair, wearing girly makeup and girly clothes. Gee, I've seen emo kids cross-dress better than freaks like Dee Snider.

2 They aren't actually heavy.

Most glam metal bands don't try to be heavy in the first place. And some bands, such as Twisted Sister and Skid Row, are kind of heavy.

Mötley Crüe's earlier stuff, W.A.S.P., and some of Skid Row's songs are fairly heavy. Also, I don't think most of these bands were trying to be heavy.

Agreed. Hair metal and glam metal are without doubt the worst metal subgenres. And the only subgenres I dislike.

Hair metal does not work well as a metal subgenre, but they can be lit when compared to most pop rock bands.

3 The lyrics are all the same.

No wonder they were mainstream in the 80s. Like mainstream radio pop today, hair metal band lyrics were the same thing over and over again. "Woo-hoo let's rock n' roll! " Oh come now, the 80s are over.

All the songs sound like the cheesiest 80's pop music and all they sing about is how they get girls.-DarkBoi-X

That's the same argument that metal haters say to metal music

All songs are like the Mötley Crüe song I compared to REAL metal

4 Music and lyrical themes are not metal.

First, 99% of their songs are based on blues and not on classical music which immediately speaks hard rock. Not metal. For that reason ACDC, GNR and Led Zep were labeled as hard rock and not metal. How about Poison then?
Second, metal doesn't focus on having fun. So hair "metal" lyrics also fall into typical hard rock lyrical themes.

Metal and hair/glam are opposites. The term 'hair/glam metal' bears logical and musical contradictions. It's a misconception and it's time to admit those bands are not metal from any viewpoint. By calling themselves 'metal' they only gave metal a bad name.

Out of all the items on this list this one should be number 1. I agree most hair metal songs aren't metal they are Hard Rock songs (however there are some Metal songs by hair metal bands those are few though)
But lets be honest Hair Metal at its worst is just medicore but other "bad" metal genres at their worst they are near unbearable. (Metalcore, Nu Metal)

Neither should "Breaking the Law," but you know what? Lyrics don't really define a metal song much.

Sure, some of the bands with that 80's hair style played metal, most of them were just pop rock.

5 The bands only play for money.

You know what? Stop calling yourself metal. Just stop. Now, leave the word "hair" in your name, but add the word "pop" onto that. We only need to take away your makeup for you to be another Backstreet Boys ripoff. And NO, that's not a good thing.

Who cares if they play for money? They still make music.

The image on this item is something!

Of course, sex sells.

6 Band members are obnoxious.

Who cares if they're egostical. If I had as much money as them, I'd be egostical too. At least they're not Satanists like the members of Gorgoroth or racist murderers like Varg Vikernes.

Especially the singers. I'd rather be locked in a room with Once Direction than have to deal with Nikki Sixx's huge ego. I'd prefer neither option, but at least with 1D I would have the chance to punch Harry Styles in the face.

Dave Mustaine, Varg Vikernes, etc.

7 Too many fangirls.

When Bring Me The Horizon wanted fangirls, they looked to hair metal bands for advice.

Fanbases should not interfere with the bands themselves.

8 Annoying singing voices.

And you think you're even remotely screaming? No, you're just annoying. Even Kellin Quinn would have a heart attack listening to you sing.

I could say the same with Dave Mustaine (he's an amazing guitar player and songwriter though)

9 They have no musical skill.

They have some skills because they can play music. But in general, their skills don't meet metal standards which are higher. Compare the 80s Metallica and Iron Maiden, with Poison and Motley Crue - you will get the picture.
By the way, I don't think Guns N' Roses are hair metal - they are a heavier version of hard rock and their music isn't that poppy for the most part though their looks are similar to the hair metal looks.

They may not be as skillful as real metal bands, but to say that they have no musical talent is an overstatement.

It takes talent and skill to play the guitar, bass, and drums and sing. They are definitely talented.

I've heard more complexity in a rap song. I'm not joking.

10 They think they're hocking when they're really just stupid.

Would you say the same with Ozzy Osbourne, Alice Cooper, Misfits, and maybe even Slayer to some extent? You know, bands that are considered "shocking," even though there are scarier bands out there.

They're nowhere near as shocking compared to acts like Rammstein and Marilyn Manson.

You want shocking? Cannibal Corspe, Dying Fetus, Carnifex, Death's first album. Not this gender-confused sports mascot crap. Hey, Dee Snider! YOU ARE A MALE. YOU HAVE A PENIS, NOT A VAGINA. So stop acting like you don't know the difference.

The Contenders

11 They are precursors of nu-metal and metalcore and all mallcore music.

Don't blame 80s bands for metalcore and nu metal. In fact, most third wave bands got their influence from Pantera.

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