Top Ten Reasons Hair Metal Is a Poser Metal Subgenre

ThatStrangeKid42
Think metalcore/deathcore is ruining metal? Think again - hair metal bands got the job done first! Here are the reason why.

The Top Ten

1 Hair metal bands have the most ridiculous image.

You think modern metalcore/deathcore makes metal look "gay" or "girly"? Okay then. Let's have a look at Motley Crue, Twisted Sister, Jackal, Cinderella, any hair metal band... A bunch of dudes with girly hair, wearing girly makeup and girly clothes. Gee, I've seen emo kids cross-dress better than freaks like Dee Snider. - ThatStrangeKid42

The image of Hair Metal isn't ridiculous, it's awesome

In my opinion, some hair metal bands are good (definitely Leppard) and some are bad (Warrant).

Too many metal elitists here
Like it or not, I think glam metal is good - Yungstirjoey

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2 They aren't actually heavy.

Seriously, I could fall asleep listening them. Now, I have nothing against soft music or ballads, but if your music is going to sound like you're not even trying to strum your guitar, PLEASE DON'T CALL YOURSELF A METAL BAND. - ThatStrangeKid42

Agreed. Hair metal and glam metal are without doubt the worst metal subgenres. And the only subgenres I dislike. - IronSabbathPriest

I know they are the least heavy genre of metal, but that doesn't mean that the bands are posers.

Hair metal may not be a sub-genre of metal. But still I like this genre.I just listen whatever feels good to me. Don't judge about the genre. - zxm

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3 The lyrics are all the same.

Iron Maiden lyrics- "they summoned me over to join in to the dead of the dead, into the circle I followed them, into the middle I was led"
Motley Crüe lyrics - "Girls girls girls long legs and burgundy lips, girls down on sunset strip, girls red lips fingertips

No wonder they were mainstream in the 80s. Like mainstream radio pop today, hair metal band lyrics were the same thing over and over again. "Woo-hoo let's rock n' roll! " Oh come now, the 80s are over. - ThatStrangeKid42

All songs are like the Mötley Crüe song I compared to REAL metal

4 The bands only play for money. The bands only play for money. The Band was a Canadian-American roots rock group formed in 1965 . Which originally consisting of Rick Danko (bass guitar, double bass, fiddle, vocals), Levon Helm (drums, mandolin, guitar, vocals), Garth Hudson (keyboards, saxophones, trumpet), Richard Manuel (piano, drums, vocals) and Robbie Robertson ...read more.

You know what? Stop calling yourself metal. Just stop. Now, leave the word "hair" in your name, but add the word "pop" onto that. We only need to take away your makeup for you to be another Backstreet Boys ripoff. And NO, that's not a good thing. - ThatStrangeKid42

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5 They're basically the 1980s versions of Black Veil Brides.

Motley Crue and BVB said the same thing: " we're such outcasts because we have a huge mainstream fanbase. But seriously, it's okay because we dress like 12 year old scene girls! " - ThatStrangeKid42

This is one of the best lists that I have ever seen. - KoolGuy2218

6 Too many fangirls.

When Bring Me The Horizon wanted fangirls, they looked to hair metal bands for advice. - ThatStrangeKid42

7 Annoying singing voices.

And you think you're even remotely screaming? No, you're just annoying. Even Kellin Quinn would have a heart attack listening to you sing. - ThatStrangeKid42

8 Music and lyrical themes are not metal

First, 99% of their songs are based on blues and not on classical music which immediately speaks hard rock. Not metal. For that reason ACDC, GNR and Led Zep were labeled as hard rock and not metal. How about Poison then?
Second, metal doesn't focus on having fun. So hair "metal" lyrics also fall into typical hard rock lyrical themes.

Metal and hair/glam are opposites. The term 'hair/glam metal' bears logical and musical contradictions. It's a misconception and it's time to admit those bands are not metal from any viewpoint. By calling themselves 'metal' they only gave metal a bad name.
- Metal_Treasure

9 Band members are obnoxious.

Especially the singers. I'd rather be locked in a room with Once Direction than have to deal with Nikki Sixx's huge ego. I'd prefer neither option, but at least with 1D I would have the chance to punch Harry Styles in the face. - ThatStrangeKid42

10 They have no musical skill.

I've heard more complexity in a rap song. I'm not joking. - ThatStrangeKid42

They are talented, I will give them that - ryanrimmel

Agreed with ryanrimmel, its not like that they are talentless. Is Axl Rose talentless? or slash? - zxm

The Contenders

11 They think they're hocking when they're really just stupid.

You want shocking? Cannibal Corspe, Dying Fetus, Carnifex, Death's first album. Not this gender-confused sports mascot crap. Hey, Dee Snider! YOU ARE A MALE. YOU HAVE A PENIS, NOT A VAGINA. So stop acting like you don't know the difference. - ThatStrangeKid42

They're nowhere near as shocking compared to acts like Rammstein and Marilyn Manson.

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List StatsUpdated 23 Aug 2017

11 listings
2 years, 279 days old

Top Remixes

1. Hair metal bands have the most ridiculous image.
2. They aren't actually heavy.
3. The lyrics are all the same.
ThatStrangeKid42
1. Music and lyrical themes are not metal
2. They aren't actually heavy.
3. The bands only play for money.
Metal_Treasure

WRemix

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