How to make a Barbie Movie

TwilightKitsune
Hi! I’m TwilightKitsune, and today I’m going to tell you how to make your own Barbie movie. Just follow these easy steps.

Pick a stupid Title

Barbie and the *adjective used to describe a cereal box* castle
Barbie in the*adjective used to describe vegetable* school
Barbie as the Princess and the *noun relating to ice lolly*
Etc.

Pick a plot. They all usually go like this:

Barbie is a fairy/mermaid/princess/potty training stool who fulfills a prophecy/saves a weak useless kingdom/tells a story which she plagiarized from someone else/drops a rectangular object on Ken’s head using necklaces/witch burning stakes and crossbows/hairbrushes/the color pink. The villain is a witch / relative/ rival / dinner lady / fashion designer / schoolteacher / mail carrier whoplans to take over the area / have the throne for themselves or their kids /turn everyone into potatoes etc. Barbie’s friends in the movie are lesbians /Flying Freaks / fairies / bananas. Go nuts.

Pick a stupid clichéd moral that everybody knows

Constipation is dangerous for kids
Smoking marijuana lowers your IQ
Kerosene burns in contact with fire. (Here, allow me to demonstrate on Ken)

The plot has been made, the moral decided. Now let’s move on to the characters!

The Protagonist(main character) – A stupid moron with the IQ of negative 9273764664665,73485573. A goody goody who always does the right thing easily.
Her love interest –a pathetic weakling who could be easily murdered brutally by a balloon animal
The villain – the only characters in the entire movie who actually have character development
Barbie’s friends –losers who always have to motivate Barbie to make her do something because Barbie always needs motivation to move her fat ass
Supporting characters – kill them all.

YOUR BARBIE MOVIE IS READY!Now broadcast it on screens all over the world and feed on the tears and screams of all the kids who hate Barbie! That’s exactly what Mattel want

Comments

Kek - bobbythebrony

Barbie and the crunchy castle
Barbie and the disgusting school
The Worst thing is that these look plausible - Martinglez

Yes - TwilightKitsune

Barbie as the Princess and the stick - MLPFan

Love it! This is hilarious - Mcgillacuddy

Thanks - TwilightKitsune

So true, I made an Angry Birds game once by hacking into a real angry birds game to change the background, and then called it my own. What, the developers do the same thing. - Skullkid755

Wow - TwilightKitsune

That's actually pretty great - MLPFan

I never made an angry birds game.
I'm gonna try and make a mod or rom hack, and maybe an SNES style game. - Skullkid755

How is this high quality? Literally an unfunny analysis of a 4 year-olds movie - Puga

This user is superior to you. - Skullkid755

I think twilight is a decent user, but I think puga is better. - Therandom

This was probably a joke Puga. - Ultron123

I agree. It isn't funny at all. - BlueTopazIceVanilla

Topy, I think you're just being salty with me because I hate Bloom and Skye and the entire Winx Club franchise - TwilightKitsune

quacking - Puga

I'm totally going to make a sexual furry Barbie movie for kids and this helps me a lot! Thanks Twillight Senpai! - RedAce66

Your welcome...I guess? - TwilightKitsune

This is hilarious, good job! - Wolftail

Thanks - TwilightKitsune

That is so true LOL X-DDD. Anyways, I know some additional steps to make it more successful:
1. You have to make literally everything pink. Pink is the ONLY good color ever existed! Screw red and black!
2. Make her pretty pink accessories as glittery as you can. More glitter, more beauty
3. ADD AS MANY LAME MAGICS AS YOU CAN - visitor

Yes I totally agree - TwilightKitsune

Let me add more
4.Make Barbie edgy-wannabe(*cough*Secret agent*cough*movie).
5.Force kids to watch this so they'll buy all of the merchandises(anorexic dolls)
6.Make the good guys so ditzy, they became an unlikable joke.
7.Smart guys are always evil, so make the bad guys smart(well that's not true, but this is the logic Dora, Barbie, and those crappy newer CN shows say)
8.Yep, BlueFrost, More glitter, More BEAUTY(more like, More NAUSEA)
9.Plastic Surgery is better than natural beauty. So better take those implants!
10.Music must be autotuned dubstep that tries hard to sound cool, but sounds like a pile of junk
I have a headcanon though:Barbie's real name Is actually Barbie Kardashinaj(Kardashian-Minaj) and she Is secretly cousins with both Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian. That's why Nicki named her fans as 'Barbies' and Kim's implants make her look like a Barbie doll. - MLPFan

I think Indonesians will be better at making this movie than me lol - TwilightKitsune

@MLPFan
Those are VERY necessary!
@TwilightKitsune
Lol - visitor

This is hilarious! - Powerfulgirl10

I'm glad you liked it - TwilightKitsune

So true. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Don't forget, We need fifty guys to fight over Barbie. - visitor

Lol wow - Oliveleaf

Make It 100 guys! - MLPFan

Nah, 1000 guys are better lol. And you have to make those guys as idiotic as Barbie herself - visitor

Haha! Love it! - visitor

Great Idea! This post IS HILARIOUS! Great post making TK - visitor

Ha! Ha! So true! Barbie movies bored me as a kid. Her movies get repetitive and BOORRINGG! This is funny! Why does Barbie always have to be a Mary Sue in her movies? Too girly for my taste. Her movies are about too much pink and magenta, about being a princess, and being pretty and perfect. Not my type of movies. - AnimeDrawer

Yeah, she is way overused - TwilightKitsune

This is so funny and true. I should learn how to have sense of humour from you! - MLPFan

You shall learn one day young one - TwilightKitsune

This is hilarious post! - visitor

Barbie and The Bodacious Castle
Barbie and The Large Castle
Barbie and The Horny Castle
Barbie and The Small Castle
Barbie and The Murder Castle

Barbie and The Horny School
Barbie and The Vomit School
Barbie and The Princess School
Barbie and The School Castle
Barbie and The Awful School

Barbie and The Ice Lolly Factory - visitor

Barbie and the Ghost School
Barbie and the Chainsaw Factory
Barbie and the Super-Mega-Boring Adventure to the Land of Golden-Polka-Dot Purple Flying Unicorn-Dolphins
Barbie and the Killer School
Barbie and the Castle of (Not) Epic Fails
Barbie and the Pink Sparkly Glittery Girly Magic Flying Giant Fairy Castle
Barbie and the Castle of Bananas - visitor

Barbe and the Fart-Eating Potato Destroying Hut. - AlphaQ

Why is this so accurate on so many levels? - nintendofan126

Magic - TwilightKitsune

34 Barbie films.
2 specials.
And a live action show.

In a span of 36 years.




I spent five minutes of my life counting them.Barbie must be stopped. - DapperPickle

WAIT SHE HAS A LIVE ACTION SHOW? MUST MAKE NEW POST CALLED HOW TO MAKE A LIVE ACTION BARBIE SHOW THIS INSTANT! - TwilightKitsune

I meant to say movie, coming out in May this year.I am also pretty certain that there is a live show some time ago.

And I forgot to mention, there was a long hiatus after the first two movies, until in 2001, Mattel revived this demon and made 34 films in about 15 years. - DapperPickle

Wait, doesn't marijuana ACTUALLY help people?

But yeah, I have seen Barbie movies, and I can definitely relate :D. - CrimsonShark

LOL - TwilightKitsune

This is so accurate. - Anonymousxcxc

I know - TwilightKitsune

Perfect.

But you forgot this:
- Make the protagonist a little b*tch who always gets what she wants, no matter how much of a terrible role model she is. - Absolite

Yeah, the real message - TwilightKitsune

Barbie and the Fart-Eating Potato Destroying Hut.

Is about a slut named Barbie who throes potatoes at princes for not marrying her and teaches kids that watching Barbie movies turns you into an onion with no brain. - AlphaQ

Make it real - TwilightKitsune

My own Barbie movie

"Barbie and the crack cocaine castle"

Once upon a time there was a fool named Barbie she wasted her money on plastic surgery to become hot. Now she's poor so she decided to beg on a handsome and rich stranger.

One day she met a person *a supporting cast* and (get ready for the worst cliché ever) they become best friends! (You acctualy buy that didn't you? Gotcha! That person's just butt licking and pretending to be nice to Barbie because she gives her symphaty).

So that person gives Barbie her child's vomit for food. Barbie takes it anyway (have I mentioned that Barbie is still on kindergarten? ). Besides Barbie there was a fat ugly rich person smoking while using crack. Barbie is in love with him.

Barbie decides to flirt with him. Wrong move, that person over there was a Barbie hater. Also he has a gun and it's loaded. Barbie doesn't know what guns are...

On the year 2017 Barbie is no more...

*On Mattel*
Boss :"Let's party! Bring up the wines! "
Staff 1:"BARBIE'S DEAD! "
Staff 2:"BARBIE'S DEAD! "

To be continued on the sequel (Barbie and the lazy crappy company) - PurpleFox

One of the best movies ever made @PurpleFox - MLPFan

@MLPFan thanks, lol. - PurpleFox

Great post Kitsune. <3 I would love to see Barbie die in one of the episodes :D LOL! - visitor

Best idea ever. - TwilightKitsune

Barbie is such a big fat ugly Mary sue b**Ch who always wins and all her movies are boring and clutches. How about a movie where south park boys, Powerpuff girls and teen titans team up together to kill Barbie? - visitor

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