Tom DeLonge Vs. Evil Dahvie VanityOne day in the CSMO Organization, located in Raleigh, North Carolina on a hill, a group of people were writing songs and making music. The building looked like a jailhouse, and there was a statue of Dahvie Vanity(reference to TwilightKitsune), the leader, outside the entrance. A girl, who recently joined the organization, tried writing a new song for the band Blood On The Dancefloor called "Circus". She wrote lyrics such as "Please color me with your rainbow hair, just like Rainbow Dash on flare". Dahvie Vanity, the boss of this whole group of evil, said,"Please make the lyrics more dirty! No clean songs, and they have to be horrific and full of crimes! If you write more clean songs, I will make you go back to jail!". "Yes sir," the fangirl of BOTDF said. Chris Brown, Kodak Black, and a couple of others were sitting down at the round table eating McDonald's french fries and Chicken McNuggets. Kodak Black is a huge fan of McDonald's, that he even dressed up Ronald McDonald and made a song about him giving happy meals to kids and deceiving them. Dahvie Vanity had bags of food from KFC, Hardees, and Chick-Fil-A, he ate like a pig and made loud noises while chewing, he ate so much junkfood, which is the reason he is fat. While he did that, he wrote a song about KFC, but with dirty, innapropriate lyrics. Tyga said ", Hey bro, I just wrote a new song called "Money Chain", I really think it will be a great hit to manipulate people with!" Dahvie Vanity took a bite of his chicken, then said,"Yes, more money please, we need more wealth to help prisoners escape and make this music to torture people!".
All the way in the west coast, in San Diego, California, Tom DeLonge took a walk on the beach, barefoot, lonely as always, he barely has any real friends. He watched the sun in the afternoon. It was getting dark, so Tom decided to return to his studio to make more music and to check out his reviews, his replies to his comments, and to comment and waste his time, or "toime". He opened his laptop and it buffered until the window screen finally came on. He went on Twitter and saw good comments on his albums, he got happy, "Yes, my albums got good reviews", he said to himself. Then he saw some nasty comments that said ,"We don't like your boring music, your album was garbage, I rate it 0/10". Tom said to himself ",Pfft, haters like always, they are annoying, they constantly bother you with stupid, pointless comments only babies make. And yes, I am aware of how much hate I get, a lot, I admit I am some stupid dork, but too much hate for what? Ahh, forget that trash, lets move on". He commented and posted whatever came into his mind, things like, "To all you cartoon fans, watch The Powerpuff Girls, The Amazing World Of Gumball, and Spongebob Squarepants, I love those!:)" Then once his comment got submitted, he went to check his songs on ITunes, then he saw a new song that came out by Blood On The Dancefloor called Ghosting, which he found it odd. So he curiously listened to the sample and turned the volume to extremely loud mode on his ear buds, but then he accidently took them off while darting his arm around.
In a few seconds, the song began to play. The music had really explicit lyrics that were disgusting, and the beat was fast-paced and sounded like an arcade game, and then the lead singer began to sing in an autotuned, girly voice. Tom screamed", AHHHHH! THIS SONG IS THE WORST SONG I HAVE EVER HEARD! STUPID ME FOR PUTTING THIS ON A HIGH VOLUME! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EAR BUDS!" He had his ears covered then he abruptly clicked pause to stop the awful song. The loud noise all of a sudden turned into silence without a single sound. Tom took a deep breath finally in peace, embarrassed at what he has done, he regretted listening to the song. He told himself",That song is awful, why did I even click on it in the first place?". Then his wife came to his studio and said,"WHAT IS WITH ALL THE NOISE? I CANNOT REST IN PEACE AND HAVE TO HEAR YOUR DANCE MUSIC! THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD HEARD IT! ARE YOU DRUNK OR SOMETHING, TOM!" Tom looked at his wife with a bewildered look and said ,"I was listening to the sample of a song I curiously found on ITunes and I was going to listen to it with my ear buds, but then I accidently took off the stupid ear buds off my laptop and this terrible, awful song, played loudly". "Well, be more careful next time and make sure you are not listening to garbage music like that!" his wife said as she departured the room. Then Tom decided to go on the reviews for Ghosting and read the reviews, then he saw many people commenting on how Dahvie Vanity, the lead singer, is actually a pedophile and part of the CSMO. "So not only is this Dahvie Vanity guy a terrible singer, he is a nasty, sicko pedophile too in real life, he needs to have a meeting with me. And I need to go to Raleigh, North Carolina at Willow Drive", Tom said to himself.
Tom decided to pack up a Fender guitar as a weapon in case he needs it, as well as other weapons, and he decided to go on a road trip to North Carolina to face Dahvie Vanity and the evil CSMO members. "It is not fair how these guys get to make music by breaking rules, that is not how you do it, plus, they only want money, they put no passion into their art", Tom thought as he began to pack his belongings in his backpack, such as clothing. He immediately grabbed his keys and told his wife he was leaving to go on a road trip to fight the CSMO. He left San Diego to highway 5 and took many highways to highway 10 east. The past three days, his days were the same, just in different sceneries and locations. He stayed at hotels to rest, bought food, filled in gas, and drove all day until midnight, which was tiring for him. He passed by many major cities in various states, including Phoenix, El Paso, San Antonio, Houston, New Orleans, Atlanta, and Charlotte, Tom was suprised to see the east since he was from the west coast. Then he finally arrived at night to Raleigh and stayed at a small hotel room just for him. He was tired and felt too lazy to drive back home, but no matter how tired he was, he felt like it was his duty to save the music industry from the CSMO, especially since he is a musician.
The next morning, he woke up, ate pancakes, and grabbed his Fender guitar to hit against a attack and a sniper rifle to shoot in case those idiots tried to hurt him. Then he drove uphill into a forest to Willow Drive where the lair was located in his giant van. Dahvie Vanity on the other hand, was doing stupid things like putting gummy worms in his hair thinking it will look good while the others were hard at work, writing songs with bad messages. He had Fallon, his bandmate, write all the songs for him. Tom was outside, with his weaponry ready and opened the door to the CSMO headquarters. Dahvie Vanity, who was eating the gummy worms from his hair, heard footsteps that were from none of his workers. He got up from his chair and headed downstairs to the main office, where the entrance was. Then he saw a tall 6'4 man with wavy brown hair, small brown eyes with a soft, but intense look, and pale skin, which is Tom with weapons, including a guitar. Dahvie Vanity recognized and said, "Oh, aren't you the guy who made All The Small Things and had a break up with your famous band Blink-182 to chase aliens? What a joke you sellout! You deserve all the hate you get for leaving your band, doing drugs, and starting AVA!". "First of all, I did not just to chase aliens, second, I did not sell out, in fact, I became less popular to work on my passions, third I left my band and did drugs for important issues, and AVA is a band I am passionate about. You can't just tell me what band to be in. Anyway, by the way gummy worm head, what about you, hypocrite? You are a pedophile and don't lie to me cause I have heard stories from your so called "fans" that you have actually raped, and they are underage girls. And I have heard that you bully both your fans and haters, and I have seen proof through your Twitter posts. And you telling me I have problems when you are even more braindead", Tom explained.
"Stop making up lies you fool, you are just jealous because my CSMO organization is thriving and taking over music", Dahvie said. Tom responded, "I am not jealous at all about your stupid organization with passionless, bad, and awful music only made for money. At least I am working on things I have passion for, not just for money, and fairly, not the illegal, unfair way you do it by releasing criminals to write music! I am going to tell everyone not to buy your music, you don't deserve to manipulate and steal all that money from your innocent, clueless fans you thief." "That's it, I can't stand you!" Dahvie said and then punched Tom in the face. "OWW! You almost broke my nose! Why don't you get a tase of-THIS!" Tom said and then he got out his fender guitar and hit Dahvie in the skull plenty of times, or "toimes". Then Dahvie started pulling his hair and Tom pulled it back, turning this fight into a cat fight, Tom then pulled large strands off Dahvie's hair. Then Dahvie said"OWWW! MY HAIR! I HAVE A BALD SPOT!". He had a spot where he had no hair at all. Then they continued punching and fighting until a stranger came out in the middle of nowhere appeared all of a sudden.
It was a short, skinny man with black hair, eyeliner, and large green eyes. It was-BILLIE JOE ARMSTRONG! Tom and Dahvie both had a bewildered look as he entered, Tom said,"Billie? What are you doing here?". Billie said,"I heard about this organization on the internet, and I despised it and its awful music, so I came here for revenge. I drove all the way from California to here just for that. Tom, do you want to join me? ""Yeah sure, bro, why not, lets kick the butt of this crook who only steals people's money. Send him to the police as quick as possible", Tom said. Billie bit his lip and said, "Yeah, great plan, lets drive to the police station to get this jerk what he deserves, I got proof and files". "NOOOOOO! You can't do that to me! I will stop you!"Dahvie Vanity said. Tom sneered then said,"Sorry, but jail is where you belong, bye!" Billie and Tom ran into their vehicles, Tom followed Billie as he lead the way to the police station. Dahvie Vanity was right behind them, with his Toyota, chasing after them before they get into to police station. He tried to make Tom crash, but he failed MISERABLY like the failure he is. Then all three of them arrived to the police station at the same time, a coincidence.
Billie reported to the police,"Arrest Dahvie Vanity, or David Jesus Torres, I have these photos where he raped an underage girl that I found online." "Yeah, and....GIVE ME YOUR DOCUMENTS!"Tom said as he snatched Dahvie Vanity's documents of the CSMO. "He runs an evil organization in which he releases criminals to make music for money, basically stealing money." The police took a look at the photos and documents. Then Officer Ben, who used to play Ronald McDonald in McDonald commercials, said,"Okay, lets take him to jail, but there is something better you can do. How about you two perform a concert together and hit this dude with your guitars, does that sound nice?!" "OH YEAH!" Tom and Billie said in unity and looked at each other.
The next week, Tom and Billie made a concert together, and Tom decided to go back to Blink-182 for that concert in Raleigh, North Carolina. Billie broight his band Green Day with him as well, this being the second time they perform with Blink-182. Tom DeLonge and Billie Joe Armstrong were onstage with their guitars ready to hit. Dahvie Vanity had his big mouth shut in tape and was tied to a rope. Then Tom said,"We brought a dude here who committed many crimes, and we are here to put him in his place, time to give him the good one!". "YEAH! HIT THAT JERK!" Billie shouted to the crowd. Then they both raised their guitars in the air, and started hitting their guitars on Dahvie Vanity, then the crowd started throwing tomatoes at him! Dahvie Vanity was embarrassed and shamed as people started laughing, he wanted to go back to jail instead of being there. The police also arrested the other CSMO members like Kodak Black, Chris Brown, Fallon, Tyga, and Young Thug. Billie Joe Armstrong and Tom DeLonge, two punk heroes in music, saved all of music from bad music and garbage! Today was the day that people were free and happy from garbage music, CHEERS! YEAH, NO MORE BAD MUSIC! Tom DeLonge and Billie Joe Armstrong danced around on stage to Thriller by Michael Jackson and played their songs happily, and told jokes about banana splits and monkey costumes to the audience.
Lmfao - DCfnaf
Banana splits - PeeledBanana
Dahvie sucks and he should be beaten up and sent to jail forever - PeeledBanana
Dahvie should be beaten up - PeeledBanana
I love your post, anime drawer. <:3 You are truly one of my favourite users. LETS GET DAHIVE VANITY INTO JAIL! - visitor
Yeah, send him to jail for all eternity instead of making his garbage music. - visitor
AHAHAAHA I laughed so hard when he hit him with the fender guitar! Lolol great post as always AD - TwilightKitsune
Yeah, that part was funny. - visitor
Yay, Evil Jerk Dahvie got arrested. HE DESERVED IT! 😡😡😡😡😡😠😡 - TheDarkOne_221b
Oh yeah very great story it was really hilarious I love it and also I actually don't listen to Blood on the Dance Floor anymore they really do deserve the hate they get and they male really bad music and Dahvie Vanity is a jerk but anyway good post - Lpsgirl