Things that Make Ralph Breaks the Internet a Terrible Movie

Mario8
I personally don't like the movie that much but I respect your opinion if you liked it.

The Top Ten

1 Rich Moore Lied About Including Mario in the Movie

I actually wouldn't mind Mario's absence so much... if it weren't for who/what we got instead! Yes, looking at you, Now-Woke Forever 21 Clad Tumblrina "Princesses", Annoying Typical "Sassy Black Woman Despite Being Purple, Generic Gangsters, and Generic Gangster Leader I'm Supposed To Love And Worship.

That really stinks!

That changing the focus to the Internet was a bad idea aside, if they absolutely had to make sequel meme driven garbage, are there not Mario-based memes?

2 It Ruined the Ending of the Original Movie

I could be wrong, but there was nothing about the ending of the original to even suggest that Ralph and Vanellope’s relationship would turn codependent, or that she would rather live in a Grand Theft Auto type game. And what about her decision to be a president instead of a princess? Oh right, so she could put the classic princesses in ugly sweatshirts and jeggings.

3 Felix and Calhoun are Barely in the Movie

Worse, Calhoun was pretty much replaced with that overrated new chick played by the very overrated GAL GADOT.

There was a huge gap of time between when the sequel was announced and when Jack McBrayer and Jane Lynch were confirmed to be returning, which was in itself worrying.

Felix is best boki! All my friends think he’s ugly but personally I think he’s adorable. :3 Why is he barely in this movie?! And why is my favorite scene the one where Felix has crippling depression over his fifteen kids? Seriously, why couldn’t they add more FELIX and Calhoun?! I feel bad for the Calhoun fans, she has like three lines. ;-; If they make a third one, (which this one already kinda killed any opportunities for this franchise to get better as they turned Ralph into a blubbering pushover and got rid of Vanellope) please, please, PLEASE bring them back!

4 It's Hypocritical

First movie: don't abandon your game. Everyone in a game is important.

Second movie: go live in that stupid edgy game, no one's gonna miss you in the game you were always meant to part of and in fact that's what drove the prequel.

2013: Anna wants to marry someone she "just met" (knew for just a few hours, if that). Elsa says "no". Turns out Hans really couldn't be trusted after all; Elsa was right.

2018: Vanellope wants to elope with this edgy chick she's only known for a couple hours, if that. Ralph objects, only to learn how "insecure" he was being and letting Vanellope elope was the "right" thing.

Both Disney movies, both even having several of the same people working on them.

Yeah.

You mean how it preached against toxic masculinity while glorifying toxic feminism?

You know what else is hypocritical? That people decry Vanellope’s relationship with Ralph because pedophilia yet think nothing of or even PRAISE her relationship with Shank. Shank is still an adult with too much of an interest in a kid; she should not get a pass just because she's a woman and possibly a lesbian.

V 1 Comment
5 Sonic is Far Too Prominent by Minor Character Standards

He’s more prominent than me. Enough said. - Mayor Gene

6 Bowser Doesn't Make an Appearance
7 The Shameless Self Promotion Known as Oh My Disney

The sad part is, they might as well have used Sinfest or, worse, Natty Comics, for that scene. Same misandric virtue signaling, but without exploiting beloved characters.

8 The Terrible Ending of the Film

People say the ending is realistic? If it's so realistic, why am I not hearing about characters from other games suddenly appearing in overrated mindless violent trash games like Grand Theft Auto while every game I play from Smash Ultimate to Dream Daddy still has every single character present and accounted for? I mean, THEY had to get bored and crave life in a different game, right? And an existing character in the other game can simply add their code, right?

And don't "it's so heartwarming though" me, buster! Not interested in being reminded how "realistic" it is, either.

9 Everything About the Disney Princesses

Remember in the original where two princesses who may or may not have been Daisy and Peach (or was it supposed to be Rosalina, given the blue dress) were seen walking by in Game Central Station? THAT was a much better princess cameo!

I just cringed to the back of my head with those disney princesses and I don't know why - reviewer321

"Best part of the movie" my behind!

I'll be so happy when people stop cosplaying those awful People of Walmart versions of them.

10 Everything About Slaughter Race

Like hell I'd give up my life in a colorful world of sweets for that dump!

Yes, that does include Gal Gadot's character that no one's allowed to criticize

Especially that Shank bee atch.

That too could've been replaced with "Sinfest" or "Natty Comics". Vanellope could've all but taken a romantic interest in Natty herself instead of Shank, too (and Disney still would have cast Gal Gadot as Natty because she's an overrated SJW darling either way).

V 1 Comment

The Newcomers

? All Edge, No Substance

Perfectly describes Slaughter Race, anyway

? The Buzztube Comments

Why did they include that? If it was so they. Ould shoehorn in the oft-repeated advice not to read comments, well, that's very hollow considering this movie's blatant disregard for another oft-repeated (and arguably more important) piece of advice regarding the Internet. Namely how you shouldn't trust strangers even if they do come off as extremely nice and offer you all you want and then some.

I know real YouTube comments are awful, but still

The Contenders

11 The Brief Appearance of that Terrible Let It Go Song
12 It Teaches that It's Okay to Trust Strangers on the Internet Over Someone You Know in Person

And reinforces the toxic (yes, I said it) notion that women are automatically trustworthy. No, I'm not an angry white dude whose fragile masculine ego was shattered; I'm a woman who witnessed an abusive lesbian relationship involving a former roommate and who was eventually screwed over by a woman I thought was my best friend forever.

I don't care how "actually very kind and understanding" that new lesbian lover they gave Vanellope is. People on the Internet with the least pure of intentions tend to present such a demeanor so as to gain trust.

Such a great message... not!

13 The Sugar Rush Kids Were Stripped of Their Individual Personalities

And their obvious replacements had no personality to speak of (not even that blatant Mary Sue played by the overrated Gal Gadot)

Disney's official WiR website had individual profiles for them. Disney published spinoff storybooks featuring them. Come the actual movie sequel, they're reduced to generic brats except Vanellope who went Tumblr radfem. And for what? To put the Disney Princesses in jeggings and give an already overrated actress even more exposure she didn't need.

14 Changing the Focus and Setting from Video Games to the Internet

And thinking shoehorning in a Grand Theft Auto ripoff makes up for it

15 People like the idea of Vanellope and Shank being romantically involved

That's actually one of the reasons Shank is so ungodly popular. People think she's a lesbian, and apparently Steven Universe isn't enough for the "representation" crowd.

What the heck? - BeingAliveSucks

16 Gal Gabot Being In This Movie

Is that a misspelling or a knock at her "talent"? Either way, she's a mediocre actress at best but everyone acts like she cured cancer.

Not to mention the cult her character has developed. Even most bad reviews of the movie praise Shank.

Worse, she contributed to that awful "I wanna live in this violent apocalyptic wasteland" song, so now her fanbrats can add "she can really SING" to their list of reasons she's all but officially canonized as a saint.

And Mindy Kaling isn't, and Jane Lynch might as well not have been in it

V 1 Comment
17 Pamela Ribon Replaced Jennifer Lee on the Writing Staff

Adding insult to injury, SHE voiced Snow White in this movie. Yes, I know Snow White's original voice actress has been dead for twenty years, but someone besides her and besides Pamela Ribon has been voicing her in spinoff material, and Cinderella and Aurora had THEIR current regular voice actresses.

Consider this: there's a choose-your-own-adventure storybook of this movie, written solely by Rich Moore. In said book, the Disney Princesses do not appear at all and neither does Slaughter Race in any way (not even Shank). And writer Phil Johnson also cowrote the first movie, which of course had good plot and good character development without the SJW pandering. The cold hard process of elimination places the blame for the mess of a film we got squarely on Ribon.

As said on the Worst SJWs list: She complained about a book where Barbie worked as a COMPUTER SCIENTIST because Barbie didn't act like a stuck-up (w)itch towards her male colleagues (worse, the publisher bowed to her and took the book out of print). Also, she co-wrote this flick with its Holy Israeli Lesbian Gang Leader, Princesses Gone Tumblrina Woke, and man bashing.

18 Continuity Errors

Said it on the list about movie continuity errors and I'll say it again: +2

The end of the original showed Ralph and Vanellope actually now getting along much better with the other characters in their respective games, they were good enough friends with Felix and the blonde sergeant to serve as best man and maid of honor at their wedding, and Ralph seemed to be friends with the other "villain" characters. All that was ignored in the sequel.

Somehow three years disappeared, since Ralph said he'd be alone for 27 years before meeting Vanellope. But his game was celebrating its *30* year anniversary in the first movie.

19 The Sexism

All that shade thrown at men and the overall message that women are always right is still sexism

20 The New Characters

Since that other comment was in the form of a question, the answer is "unfortunately, yes they were; no, it wasn't worth it".

Felix, Calhoun, the Sugar Rush kids, Sour Bill, Winchell and Dunkin, not to mention many other actual classic game characters (whether they'd made it into the first movie or not) were sacrificed for Yess, Shank, other "algorithms" whose names I don't care to remember, and other characters with uninspired "violent" names I don't care to remember?

21 Vanellope Having No Qualms Abandoning Ralph and Her Game

But people don't always like the same things, Ralph was smothering her, she was only ever bullied in Sugar Rush, distance doesn't destroy friendships, etc etc...

Just thought I'd beat the people sure to come in with whiny defensive comments to the punch.

Also having no remorse over her role in destroying Sugar Rush

And in favor of a [expletive deleted]y game to boot!

22 Venellope is Selfish

And people say "I love how [she] grew in this movie" or that it's "wonderful character development". Gag me with a toilet plunger!

23 It Glorifies Games Like the Grand Theft Auto Franchise

Please, that's EXACTLY what they were doing with Slaughter Race and how we (and Ralph) are supposed to agree that it's the better home for Vanellope.

24 The Dark Scenes

You mean all of Slaughter Race, including that damn song?

25 Sarah Silverman Singing

Frankly, I wouldn't care if Sarah MCLACHLAN sang "A Place Called Slaughter Race" or whatever it's called. Still an awful song.

"Let It Go" wasn't the only terrible song in this movie

True but compared to the other problems of this so called film that just ENRAGE me this problem is not that terrible at least relatively speaking a good example of one of the bigger problems of this piece of crap would be the blatant shameless self promotion known as Oh My Disney which is just so pathetic and brings a lot of unneeded questions for the Wreck It Ralph universe but nonetheless I respect your opinion I just wanted to share how I felt about this. - Mario8

26 The Social Justice Signaling

I believe the temperature is actually "virtue signaling", but you're right about it making this movie awful.

*term is "virtue signaling" (stupid autocorrect)

27 Ralph's Characterisation

And he's only like that so this movie can push it's radfem lesbian agenda

All to make us love Shank Sue and sympathize with that selfish, entitled Tumblrina we're supposed to believe is Vanellope.

He’s a childish pushover in this movie. He’s also shown to be obese (kinda off-putting because this whole time I thought he was buff) and an annoying crybaby.

28 It Says Joining a Violent Gang is a Good Thing

And whoever disagrees is just "toxic", "clingy", and "pathetic".

29 It Encourages People to Make More Stupid Videos

Kids, making idiotic meme videos WON'T earn you thousands of dollars in less than a day. "Likes", "hearts", whatever do not turn into real money.

30 Rich Moore Becoming a SJW Sellout

Reminder that he co-directed "Zootopia"

It was this movie that made me despise this man so much because while he is not the only one responsible for this train wreck of a so called “film” he is one of the biggest reasons why this “ film” turned out the way it did along with the fact he LIED about including Mario in the “film” he WILL pay for that injustice someday one way or another and when that day comes I hope I will be able to see it myself. - Mario8

31 The Writing
32 It Panders to Social Justice Warriors

Though at least they didn't shoehorn in anything about abortion.

33 The "We Hope You Enjoy This" Message at the Beginning

When you resort to that, it proves a lack of confidence.

34 The Plotholes

And people making excuses for them, or saying "it's a kid's movie; you just overthink things"

35 Mindy Kaling Did Not Voice Taffyta

Anyone wondering why that's important, that's who voiced her in the original.

Honestly I'm surprised she was the lone holdout from the original cast.

36 It Has No Real Villain

That stupid multi Ralph virus wasn't it, nor was was Ralph's toxic insecurity thus proving the idiotic radfem notion that men are the real villains.

37 Lame Pop Culture References
38 Outdated and Overdone Memes
39 It Proves That Rich Moore Has a Bias For Sonic The Hedgehog, Q*bert and Street Fighter
40 The Brief Appearance of Nick Wilde from Zootopia
BAdd New Item
P