Top 10 Reasons Why Um Jammer Lammy is a Better Waifu Than Lana Loud
The Top Ten
1 Just TRY and tell me that Lana Loud has accomplished, in her entire television-series-long career, what Lammy has accomplished over the course of only fourty-five minutes (FIFTEEN, if you're crazy enough to actually believe what her game tells you)
2 Lammy is Sexiest Redheaded Stoner Sheep Waifu and has officially converted me into a bonafide New Zealander weeaboo
Lammy Is A Deer Not A Sheep
3 Lammy has an infinitely more extreme yet simultaneously more relatable (not to mention flipping HOT) case of tomboy-and-girly-girl split personalities
4 Lammy doesn't even need exercise to wrestle alligators; she can fly an airplane through just the sheer power of rock alone
5 Lammy's "adorable shy girl" personality is cute enough to make pretty much any Loud sister's heart melt, another thing that makes her the one who Parappa SHOULD have been canonically shipped with in his own series
6 Lammy can use your entire naked body as a guitar
7 Lammy gives you free LSD when you go out with her
8 The Parappa franchise is vastly more iconic and important to cartoon history than The Loud House, despite being a technically only about five-hours-long-in-total (including cutscenes) video game series
9 Lammy has just about the absolute cutest name and voice ever
Not cuter than Lana's pal
10 The Loud House is just a watered-down imitation of Rocko's Modern Life; Lammy's game of origin, on the other hand, basically IS Rocko's Modern Life in all of its psychedelic, hilariously postmodern, 1990s-reeking glory
And without all of the stupid gross-out humor
The Contenders
11 Lammy's hairstyle is sexier
12 Lammy has better music taste
13 Lammy became a meme first
14 Lammy doesn't even need to have an actual plot behind her game to be one of the most interesting, lovable and relatable characters to ever come out of video games
15 Lammy is a time-traveler
16 Lammy is fluffier and cuddlier
17 Lammy can wood-carve basically anything out of the nearest tree, including fully functional electric guitars, without even breaking a sweat
18 Um Jammer Lammy and the Parappa franchise as a whole are both WAY cuter than The Loud House
19 Parappa The Rapper actually ISN'T something that the entire website absolutely refuses to shut up about, surprisingly
20 Lammy pretty much singlehandedly put out an entire skyscraper fire using only one hose
21 Lammy can figuratively ROCK an entire fully-loaded maternity ward's worth of whiny babies to sleep with little effort
22 Lammy is funnier and more talented than Lana in almost every way
23 Lammy's big adorable eyes, as well as the way that those cute little ears and horns shyly poke out from her lovely fluffy hair
24 Lammy doesn't wear douchey hats
25 Lammy played a huge part in inventing the modern-day furry fandom
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