Top 10 Reasons Why Um Jammer Lammy is a Better Waifu Than Lana Loud

xandermartin98

The Top Ten

1 Just TRY and tell me that Lana Loud has accomplished, in her entire television-series-long career, what Lammy has accomplished over the course of only fourty-five minutes (FIFTEEN, if you're crazy enough to actually believe what her game tells you)

Not gonna call this list cancer for one reason.

This list is worse than cancer. - Skullkid755

2 Lammy is Sexiest Redheaded Stoner Sheep Waifu and has officially converted me into a bonafide New Zealander weeaboo
3 Lammy has an infinitely more extreme yet simultaneously more relatable (not to mention flipping HOT) case of tomboy-and-girly-girl split personalities
4 Lammy doesn't even need exercise to wrestle alligators; she can fly an airplane through just the sheer power of rock alone
5 Lammy's "adorable shy girl" personality is cute enough to make pretty much any Loud sister's heart melt, another thing that makes her the one who Parappa SHOULD have been canonically shipped with in his own series
6 Lammy can use your entire naked body as a guitar
7 Lammy gives you free LSD when you go out with her
8 The Parappa franchise is vastly more iconic and important to cartoon history than The Loud House, despite being a technically only about five-hours-long-in-total (including cutscenes) video game series
9 Lammy has just about the absolute cutest name and voice ever

Not cuter than Lana's pal - Puga

10 The Loud House is just a watered-down imitation of Rocko's Modern Life; Lammy's game of origin, on the other hand, basically IS Rocko's Modern Life in all of its psychedelic, hilariously postmodern, 1990s-reeking glory

And without all of the stupid gross-out humor - xandermartin98

The Contenders

11 Lammy's hairstyle is sexier
12 Lammy has better music taste
13 Lammy became a meme first
14 Lammy doesn't even need to have an actual plot behind her game to be one of the most interesting, lovable and relatable characters to ever come out of video games
15 Lammy is a time-traveler
16 Lammy is fluffier and cuddlier
17 Lammy can wood-carve basically anything out of the nearest tree, including fully functional electric guitars, without even breaking a sweat
18 Um Jammer Lammy and the Parappa franchise as a whole are both WAY cuter than The Loud House
19 Parappa The Rapper actually ISN'T something that the entire website absolutely refuses to shut up about, surprisingly
20 Lammy pretty much singlehandedly put out an entire skyscraper fire using only one hose
21 Lammy can figuratively ROCK an entire fully-loaded maternity ward's worth of whiny babies to sleep with little effort
22 Lammy is funnier and more talented than Lana in almost every way
23 Lammy's big adorable eyes, as well as the way that those cute little ears and horns shyly poke out from her lovely fluffy hair
24 Lammy doesn't wear douchey hats
25 Lammy played a huge part in inventing the modern-day furry fandom
26 Lammy was made specifically for Rule 34, and lots of it at that
27 Her cute, beady little nose, smiling shirt and clown shoes
28 Her voice is SO flipping sexy
29 Lammy, along with Parappa himself, is likely a big part of the reason why the original Paper Mario trilogy exists
30 Lammy has a WAY cooler and more culturally relevant profession than Lana does
31 Lammy's game of origin is (for the most part) an underrated masterpiece, while Lana's show of origin is just an overrated train wreck
32 Lammy, again, comes from a time when cartoons actually WERE naturally at their prime
33 The Parappa series, if only because of how ridiculously weird it is, is actually more entertaining than The Loud House, ESPECIALLY Lammy's story in UJL
34 Lammy would be an adorable mother figure to Lana if anything
35 Name ONE Parappa/Lammy fanboy that DOESN'T wish he had a big sister like Lammy
36 Lammy is taller and slimmer
37 Lammy looks better in skinny jeans
38 Lammy blushes and stutters SO much that it alone makes players want to cuddle and snuggle her on a regular basis
39 Lammy is actually one of the precursors to Alphys from Undertale
40 She's a big fluffy sheep with the player's choice of being shipped with either an adorable guitar-playing kitten or an even more adorable rapping puppy
41 Lammy killed Samus Aran in 8-12-14
42 Lammy looks better with a Marge Simpson afro than Lana does
43 Lammy is a pot-smoking hippie
44 Lammy basically came from the game that invented Guitar Hero
45 People won't think you're weird if you say that you want to see Lammy's hot sexy body naked
46 Lammy has another equally sexy evil clone of herself named rammy
47 Lammy was the main inspiration behind Scott Pilgrim
48 Lammy is a superhero
49 The Parappa series doesn't need gross-out humor to be funny
50 Um Jammer Lammy, both as a character and as a game, represents nearly all of the best things about the 1990s
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List Stats

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1 year, 89 days old

Top Remixes

1. Just TRY and tell me that Lana Loud has accomplished, in her entire television-series-long career, what Lammy has accomplished over the course of only fourty-five minutes (FIFTEEN, if you're crazy enough to actually believe what her game tells you)
2. Lammy is Sexiest Redheaded Stoner Sheep Waifu and has officially converted me into a bonafide New Zealander weeaboo
3. Lammy has an infinitely more extreme yet simultaneously more relatable (not to mention flipping HOT) case of tomboy-and-girly-girl split personalities
xandermartin98

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