Top Ten Ridiculous Excuses to Skip or Get Out of Work

The Top Ten

1 I accidentally got on a plane.
2 I just put a lasagna in the oven.
3 I’ve injured myself during sex

Well, that would explain why you both walk and smell funny. - PositronWildhawk

4 I was sitting in the bathroom and my feet and legs fell asleep. When I stood up, I fell and broke my ankle.

This is a really ridiculous excuse to skip work. - Animefan12

5 My fish is sick.
6 My toe is trapped in the bath tap
7 I’ve been bitten by an insect.

You've got to be kidding me :/ - Delgia2k

8 I drank too much and fell asleep on someone’s floor – I don’t know where I am.
9 I woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it.

Now that's unbreakable spirit, bros! - PositronWildhawk

10 Some protesters were standing in the middle of the road

The Contenders

11 I caught my uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
12 I got stuck in traffic.
13 I got abducted by aliens
14 I couldn't find a place to park
15 I got a new job
16 There's a new episode of South Park
17 Dog ate my schedule and I thought I was off today
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