Top 10 Russian Political Jokes

Farewell USSR...bring Lenny with you I don't want him.

The Top Ten

1 Leonid Ilyich is in surgery." / "His heart again?" / "No, chest expansion surgery, to make room for one more Gold Star medal."

2 "Comrade Brezhnev, is it true that you collect political jokes?" – "Yes" – "And how many have you collected so far?" – "Three and a half labor camps."

3 A man was reported to have said: "Nikolay is a moron!" and was arrested by a policeman. "No, sir, I meant not our respected Emperor, but another Nikolay!" - "Don't try to trick me: if you say "moron", you are obviously referring to our tsar!"

LOL. I love Russian humor

4 A respected merchant, Sevenassov, wants to change his surname, and asks the Tsar for permission. The Tsar gives his decision in writing: "Permitted to subtract two asses"

5 Baba Yaga and Koschei the Immortal are sitting by the window in the cabin on chicken legs and see Zmey Gorynych flying low, cawing "Perestroika! Uskoreniye!" Baba Yaga: "This old stupid worm! Told him not to eat communists already!"

6 Q: What's the difference between a capitalist fairy tale and a Marxist fairy tale? A: A capitalist fairy tale begins, "Once upon a time, there was....". A Marxist fairy tale begins, "Some day, there will be...."

7 After a speech, Brezhnev confronts his speechwriter. "I asked for a 15-minute speech, but the one you gave me lasted 45 minutes!" The speechwriter replies: "I gave you three copies..."

8 "Comrade Andropov is the most turned-on man in Moscow!"

9 A Soviet newspaper reports: "Last night the Chernobyl Nuclear Powerstation fulfilled the Five Year Plan of heat energy generation in 4 microseconds."

10 The phone rings, and Brezhnev picks up the receiver: "Hello, this is dear Leonid Ilyich...".

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