Top 10 Sad but True Jokes About Video Games

The Top Ten

1 What happened to Porky between Earthbound and Mother 3? "The fat little grinch's already miniscule heart shrunk three sizes those years, giving poor mechanized Santie Claus ample time to reflectively capitalize on his suicidal tendencies and fears"

2 What's the one thing that could be more devastating for Shulk than watching Fiora get hit by a car? "Watching her get hit even harder by a Mumkhar"

3 How would you describe basically all of my recent Undertale/Parappa fanfiction? "It's a quite literally brain-f****** experience, and I honestly think I already need a shrink almost as much as its victims do after reading it"

4 What did the average Metroid fan think to himself after playing Other M? "This series really is way past its Prime, isn't it"

5 Why wasn't Lammy included as a playable character in Parappa the Rapper 2? "She was feeling a bit too sheepish without her guitar"

6 How long did it take to make the Duke Nukem reboot? "Forever"

7 How would you describe the vast majority of Toriel's fanbase from Undertale? "Self-righteous goat-motherf*****s"

8 What did everyone always tell Luigi prior to Luigi's Mansion? "That he sucked like a vacuum cleaner"

9 What could be used as another equally dirty-sounding word for Seaman? "Spock"

10 What does Luigi sing to himself in the shower on a daily basis? "GO WEEGEE! GO SQUEEGEE! GO WEE-WEE! GO BEE GEES!"

The Contenders

11 Why did Konami give up on Castlevania? "Pachinko is a far more violent and erotic business"

12 What does Alphys do with all of her negative feelings about herself when no one else is around? "She amalgamates all of them together"

13 How quickly did Dr. Andonuts completely lose his mind in the Earthbound Halloween Hack? "It was like magic"

14 What do you call a blatant knock-off of God of War? "Prince of Persia: Warrior Within"

15 What did Nathan Drake's daughter later grow up to become? "a Fisher"

16 Why doesn't the Parappa series have more games and better remakes? "Because its creator is too busy doodling random ideas for flash games"

17 How does GLaDOS feel when watching her test subjects squirm in agony? "GLaD"

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