Top Ten Satirical Amazing Things About Jacob SartoriusJakeNasty92 Jacob Sartorius. That name inspires awe in almost anyone on planet, and if it doesn’t, damn you evil. Today on the 4th of July I will be counting down the top ten things about our lord and savior, JACOB SARTORIUS!
Note: Despite popular belief, JakeNasty92 is not a Jacob Sartorius fanboy. This is pure satire.
The Top Ten
DIE IN A HOLE, HATERS!
Does anyone else find it funny that some people on this list don't know what "satirical" means? - RalphBob
This list is hilarious - XtremeNerdz12
He doesn't make a fool out of himself at all!V 4 Comments
I know. He can't make anyone's ears bleed.
After Sweatshirt, people finally realized how good of a singer JS is. He signed a deal with RCA records, and will real ease his highly hyped debut album, T.R.U Story. #1 album of the year. - JakeNasty92
What the hell are you talking about?! Jacob Sartorius's ears can make the ears of most people (in the universe) bleed big time! Bart Baker was so right. Jacob Sartorius should stick to Musical.ly! Justin Bieber still sounds quite horrible when he sings, but not as much as in 2008-2011. >:(
Okay, so you were joking after all. I thought so. :D
Mark Thomas is bad for Jacob. Thomas sent him in a downward spiral which ended with our hero in Mark-Rehab. Once recovered, Jacob and Mark had a highly publicized fight, which ended their relationship. Jacob’s music has never been better, and Mark hasn’t had a hit single since Selfie. - JakeNasty92
HOW DARE YOU PRAISE JACOB SARTORIUS'S MUSIC! AND HOW COULD YOU GET 2 THUMBS UP FOR SAYING THAT JACOB SARTORIUS IS GOOD AND MUCH BETTER THAN MARK THOMAS?! I HATE YOU, JAKENASTY92! >:(
Sweatshirts are such a beautiful trend - AlphaQ
I know, a sweatshirt is worth singing about.
OK, some of you may think I’ve already talked about this already, but not really. If you watch Jacob’s musical.lys, his clothes are m’fing AMAZING. Never seen anything that is better. - JakeNasty92
This kid’s flow is amazing. I once saw him rap battle Eminem, and he destroyed him. This is fake, but I wish I could see Jacob roast somebody with the ABCs. - JakeNasty92
Hello kid. Go to hospital to see the doctor checking what the hell is wrong with your brain - NoOneLikesYou
Which makes him a prudish brat. >:(
This kid could probably buy 100 pairs of Cam Newton’s Versace pants. But whenever you see him, he’s in a T-shirt and sweatpants. That’s modesty, folks. - JakeNasty92
His hair is nice and everyone that says it is not you guys are just mad because he can get his hair done and you can't.
A couple of days ago, I went to the barbershop and said ‘’ Give me the Jacob Sartorius. ‘’ I’ve never looked more amazing, and it’s not a quarter as good as Jacob’s ‘do. - JakeNasty92
You damn right son
True. His fans admitted that "lip-synching" is the talent but in reality, it is not. IF YOU THINK "LIP-SYNCHING" IS THE TALENT, GO TO DO A LOT HOMEWORKS INSTEAD OF WATCHING MUSICAL.LY VIDEOS - NoOneLikesYou
Look this up. One of the beautiful things you’ll ever see in you lifetime. - JakeNasty92
Before I heard this song I was depressed and lonely, but then I heard it and I suddenly got this strange feeling so I drank bleach to make it all go away. - XtremeNerdz12
It's simply so awesome.Too Awesome.
This is a statement to how amazing Jacob is. Sweatshirt is possibly the greatest song ever, and it’s all the way down at #9. JS is awesomeness. - JakeNasty92
Are you drunk? Looks like you are having some hearing problems. What a sore loser - NoOneLikesYou
Jesus Christ is gonna strike yo ass with a blot
@NoOneLikesYou no need to take it seriously my friend. @jakeNasty was clearly just trolling of course seriously who really likes jacob sartorius's music?
This kid. He is just the kindest, most talented person ever. Remind you of anyone? - JakeNasty92
Gosh, Can you stop commenting the dumbest comments as ever, please? It is obvious that you love Jacob Sartorius more than your parents that means you are one of the biggest idiotic kid ever - NoOneLikesYou
And that is good how?
NO! WHY DOES EVERYONE ACT LIKE JACOB SARTORIUS LOOKS GREAT EVEN THOUGH HE IS ONE OF THE WORST-LOOKING PEOPLE OF ALL TIME?!
He has none at all! Do you even like fat, sweaty fans?! If so, I hate you forever.
He finished kindergarten! So brilliant and educated. - AlphaQ
Please, the only thing he does is stupid videos.
His ears are very fitting, only about 60 cm wide. - AlphaQ
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3 years, 19 days old
2. His Heavenly Singing Voice
3. Breaking Off Ties with Mark Thomas