Top Ten Sexist Jokes

PositronWildhawk
No going too far, please. I truly hope to meet a nice girl someday.

The Top Ten

1 What is the difference between a wife and a bad job? The job still sucks after ten years.

Imma girl and I find this funny

Ok as a woman can I say this was funny because I know it's not sexist, I could've said the same thing about men. the women don't need a watch, the stove has a clock on it IS sexist...

Phuhahaa! This is... Um... Funny! No, actually it's hilarious! As is this entire list! Great work, Pos! - Britgirl

Trudat. To quote Britgirl... Phuhahaa! - CityGuru

2 Women don't need a watch. The stove has a clock on it.

Calm down people. This list was obviously based on stereotypes. If you didn't want this, why would you click on a list of sexist jokes? - RalphBob

That's really sexist and mean - OneWayStreet

So mean.. The best sexist joke for me. - Kiteretsunu

3 Why do more women need to go into space? Cosmic dust won't sweep itself.
4 When your girlfriend is a chemist, your life changes. You can no longer trust the kitchen staff.
5 A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”

I love how this insults both sexes simultaneously!

Perfect. Insults both men and women. I love it! - Caleb9000

6 Girls can go to great extents to dress to impress. The underpinning can be an expensive rip-off.
7 A woman is like a bag; simply made, with one lockable opening.

Also from Bleak Expectations. - PositronWildhawk

If only that lockable opening was her mouth - Jonathan4Life

8 Why do brides wear white? Because most kitchen appliances are white

Yes, as well stated by Britgirl long ago. - PositronWildhawk

9 Katy Perry's rise to fame is simply tragic. Her work in the kitchen was too loud, so they made her work on stage.

This, I think, accurately describes her music. - PositronWildhawk

10 A woman's only crime is making some amazing apple pies. See why God tried to stop Eve now?

The Contenders

11 I can't abide women smoking, unless they've been set on fire.

This one comes from the highly underrated British radio sitcom Bleak Expectations. I had to put it in. - PositronWildhawk

12 The difference between a woman and a vacuum cleaner: you can turn a vacuum off and it doesn't stop sucking until it dies.

This is genius. Thanks to the contributor. - PositronWildhawk

13 There haven't been women on the moon yet. Doesn't need cleaning yet.
14 Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.

Okay this one is the best

15 You throw like a girl

This is funny though. - Userguy44

I kicked anyone’s ass who said this at school as a boy

16 What do you do if your dishwasher stops working? Slap her ass and tell her to get back to work

Sexist nothing else

17 Did you hear about the woman that wrecked her car? She tried to blow out the dents through the exhaust pipe.
18 God created men. Then he had a better idea

No, it's not true! You're wrong! It's hurting my feeling, and do you know God is a man also?

So true! lol

19 What do you call a woman with two brain cells? Pregnant.
20 Make me a sandwich!

That one is stupid

21 What do Women and Google have in common? Both start making suggestions before you finish your sentence
22 Why can't women drive? 'cos there's no direct road to the kitchen!
23 How do two men solve an argument? By measuring each other's dicks
24 Why couldn't Helen Keller Drive? Because she was a woman.
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List StatsCreated 1 Apr 2014

100 votes
24 listings
5 years, 250 days old

Top Remixes

1. What is the difference between a wife and a bad job? The job still sucks after ten years.
2. When your girlfriend is a chemist, your life changes. You can no longer trust the kitchen staff.
3. Girls can go to great extents to dress to impress. The underpinning can be an expensive rip-off.
PositronWildhawk
1. What is the difference between a wife and a bad job? The job still sucks after ten years.
2. A man asks, “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?” God responded, ”So you would love her.” The man asks, “But God, why did you make her so dumb?” God replied, “So she would love you.”
3. Why do brides wear white? Because most kitchen appliances are white
Metal_Treasure

WRemix

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