Top 10 Best Shakespearean Insults

It's about 402 years since the legendary Bard has died. The best thing about some of his insults is that usually, a very simple message is conveyed to the opponent in an elaborate way, leaving them puzzled. Let's have a look at some of William Shakespeare's best insults.

The Top Ten

1 Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows

I love it! - kempokid

This means your opponent is a dumb drunkard, it's just expressed in a very elegant way.
It's from Troilus and Cressida - Act II, Scene i. - styLIShT

2 Villain, I have done thy mother

He was the one who actually started the 'your mom' jokes. This line is from Titus Andronicus - Act IV, Scene ii. - styLIShT

3 Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!

This is from Richard III - Act I, Scene iii and is certainly an extremely sick burn. - styLIShT

4 Would thou wert clean enough to spit upon

Imagine being so filthy, you're too dirty even to be spat on. This one is from Timon of Athens. - styLIShT

5 Thou art a boil, a plague sore

This is a classic from King Lear that we all know. - styLIShT

6 Away, you three-inch fool!

This can be used to tell someone (or their manhood) that they are short. It's from The Taming of the Shrew - Act III - styLIShT

Haha! I've had this said to me but much more poetically: "F#c@ off, you little s*%&! " - Britgirl

7 I'll beat thee, but I would infect my hands

William Shakespeare at his sassiest. It's from Timon of Athens - Act IV, Scene iii. - styLIShT

8 The rankest compound of villainous smell that ever offended nostril

This one says that you stink, in an elaborate and beautiful way. It's from The Merry Wives of Windsor - Act III, Scene v. - styLIShT

9 Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish!

This gem from Henry IV Part 1, is one of the best insults to use on special occasions to leave the other person with a hysterical puzzled look on their faces - styLIShT

10 Poisonous bunch-backed toad!

Imagine being not just a toad, but a deformed toad at that.
This insult is from Richard III - Act I, Scene iii. - styLIShT

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List Stats

10 listings
1 year, 23 days old

Top Remixes

1. Thou sodden-witted lord! Thou hast no more brain than I have in mine elbows
2. Villain, I have done thy mother
3. Thou elvish-mark'd, abortive, rooting hog!


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