Top 10 Signs Certain Fictional Characters are Mentally Disabled or Retarded
The Top Ten
1 Expects her army of Toads to protect her from being killed, let alone kidnapped, by the over-2,000-muscle-pound, roughly nine-foot-tall, also-army-leading, spike-covered, fire-breathing behemoth that Bowser is - Princess Peach (Super Mario Bros.)
2 Is Tom Green on cocaine, with generous portions of LSD also mixed in - Gord (Freddy Got Fingered)
3 Is asked the question "what is round and flat and comes with pepperoni" on a live game show and manages to get the answer wrong TWICE in a row - Heffer Wolfe (Rocko's Modern Life)
4 Thinks that Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig are real people whom he has sexual relations with - Mr. Garrison (South Park)
5 Has a legit alternate persona that he refers to as "Cornholio", in which he pulls his shirt collar all the way up over his head and runs around yelling random things about buttholes at the tops of his lungs - Beavis (Beavis & Butthead)
6 Is a 35-year old child in a horrifically ugly midget man's body who believes that he is a fairy - Tingle (The Legend of Zelda)
7 Cannot tell the difference between a vacuum cleaner (or running chainsaw, or fire hose, or airplane steering wheel, or live rabbit baby) and a guitar - Lammy (Um Jammer Lammy)
8 Can't see through Team Rocket's disguises - Ash (Pokemon)
9 Their faces - Beavis and Butthead (Beavis & Butt-head)
10 Yells "FINLAND" at the top of his lungs after being hit on the head with a bowling ball - Patrick (Spongebob Squarepants)
The Contenders
11 Believes in the "space aliens abducting cows" cliche, flunked out of school three times, and boasts that his fortune-telling predictions are always right 25% of the time - Hagakure (Danganronpa)
12 Believes that mayonnaise is an instrument - Patrick (Spongebob Squarepants)
It technically is an instrument. There is a video on youtube of someone playing mayonnaise with a spoon.
Mayonnaise is an instrument
13 When called out by Mr. Garrison for using the F word in class, he though that the word Garrison was talking about was "Jew" - Eric Cartman (South Park)
14 Cannot see things that are right in front of her until the five-year-old audience points them out to her - Dora (Dora the Explorer)
15 Can't tell what is his wallet and what isn't - Patrick (Spongebob Squarepants)
16 Is angry at his parents because they didn't sexually assault him as a child - Mr. Garrison (South Park)
17 Puts chocolate syrup and sprinkles on spaghetti and thinks it's normal for someone his age - Buddy (Elf)
18 Grew up having to inappropriately touch people in order to figure out what their genders were - Goku (Dragon Ball Z)
19 Still believes in Santa Claus - Papyrus (Undertale)
To be fair, though, Santa Claus was only real back in ancient times in Turkey, but never set foot anywhere near the North Pole.
20 Uses a live Caberpool grenade as a melee weapon - Demoman (Team Fortress 2)
21 Believes that the Theory of Evolution he demonstrated to his class after becoming Mrs. Garrison was true - Mr. Garrison (South Park)
22 Is more concerned with his "Fuzzy Wuzzy's Funny Animals Pop-Up Book" than he is about the actual fate of the universe itself - Jim (Earthworm Jim)
23 Thinks that drinking espresso specifically labeled as "CERTAIN DOOM" by the local coffee shop's vendor is a good idea - Psycrow (Earthworm Jim)
24 Runs around in a yellow spacesuit in public, can't figure out how NOT to make his plans backfire to save his life, and has a brain that was officially confirmed to be literally microscopic - Psycrow (Earthworm Jim)
25 Guesses "twelve" when Mr. Garrison asks him what five times two is - Clyde Donovan (South Park)
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