Top Ten Signs You're Obsessed With Band

These are signs you're obsessed with band and need to go directly to your local band room. Yup, the band room, not the therapist.
The Top Ten
1 You treat your reeds like your own babies

Meaning don't drop them, drown them, or break them. Doing those things to a reed can be worse than if you were to do them to a baby. You also hold a funeral for your reeds when they're no longer useful.

They require the utmost care at all times, nothing will hurt them

I get mad when people touch my alto saxophone reeds

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2 You start tapping on random surfaces in public

That means you start hacking loudly whether you're hacking on a desk, chair, computer, ancient glass artifact, one-of-a-kind doll, your own cat, or even the air if there's nowhere else. But don't be ashamed because I'm VERY guilty of this item myself!

This be definitely applies to me.

3 You immediately shun any of your friends who quit band

You didn't choose the band life, the band life chose you. And if your nonband friends don't understand that, they can lay on the ground for two hours while everyone empties their spit valves on them.

My daily life.

4 You spend hours on end looking through band memes
5 You know the difference between all the band instruments

Trust me, it's sad how many people doon't knw the difference between an oboe and a clarinet, as well as between a baritone and a tuba (they are NOT mini tubas), or a xylophone and a marimba (marimbas aren't huge xylos).

6 A glock is a musical instrument

It's also called a glockenspiel, but glockenspiel is a mouthful.

A glock 19 is used to put down people who are too stupid to live

7 You live in the band room
8 You spend most of your free time at band practice
9 You judge others based on their section

You've already learned that the flute section gossips when they're not busy complaining about the music and that the trumpet section's ego is enough for the whole school.

Good thing I'm the only person in my section. I judge a lot of people based on theirs.

10 You fail to acknowledge the fact that the football team exists
The Contenders
11 The only thing you know about football is when to start playing
12 You name your reeds
13 You keep drumming on tables
14 You become besties with the band director

Some people (like me) are as close to their band director as to their closest friends.

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