WonkeyDude98 Analysis: Panda

WonkeyDude98
If you've read some of my comments recently, you'll hear about a running joke on what I believe to be the best and worst song of all time. That song? Panda by Desiigner.

For those asking: HOW did this song get popular? It's because of Kanye West. His album the Life of Pablo contained a song that plagiarised the entire song, verses, vocals, beat and everything, with Kanye merely doing backing vocals. The song is called Pt. II, and it's easily the best and worst song on the Life of Pablo. Yes, I am going to run that joke dry.

There are many places to start with this immaculate masterpiece/absolute abomination, mainly because this song is very close to five minutes long. Let's start with the production, easily the best part of this tour de force/disaster. I can't really give Desiigner credit, as he literally bought the beat off YouTube from producer Menace for $200. What I will say is that it was a DEAL. The bouncy melody that anchors the song is catchy and has a fast tempo, and the percussion hits at just the right times. This is easily the catchiest song I've heard in a while, and it's mainly thanks to the great beat.

As for Desiigner himself, he's basically a much better Future. His voice is less irritating and slightly (!) easier to understand, he doesn't use as much autotune, and his flow is significantly better, to the point of outdoing many mainstream rappers these days. And when it comes to his breed of rap, I'd have to say Desiigner is the best of the bunch bar Fetty Wap. However, he really doesn't say anything that isn't ridiculously incompetent and/or tired to death, such as comparing the coloring of his White X6 to a PANDA. Occasionally, he will fade the beat out until saying "panda...panda...panda...PANDAPANDAPANDAPANDAPANDAPANDA" then bringing the beat back. And you can tell Desiigner doesn't even take himself seriously, with his voice on the verge of bursting laughter in the second verse.

I think the thing that makes this what it is is the backing vocals. Easily the most talked about, easily the most interesting, and easily the funniest. He sounds like one of those Call of Duty copies that just got the infinite ammo hack installed. Better yet, he sounds like that one stoner guy in the back of the classroom in your Spanish class jumping around waving his arms like a madman trying to show off how he can roll his R's. "WOOO!!! RRRRRRRRRRRRRRAHHHH!!!!" It's surprisingly not that irritating and I don't know why.

Why is this the worst song of all time? Because...it exists. It's one of the most inane songs ever witnessed, it's a Future ripoff, it's uninspired, and yet it was released by someone with a larger mindset than a panda. Why is it the greatest song of all time? Because...it exists. It's one of the most inane songs ever witnessed, it's a Future ripoff, it's uninspired, and yet it was released by someone with a larger mindset than a panda.

This song hit #1. THIS SONG. HIT. #1. Something feels deeply wrong with this world that it did. Of course, now it's at #2, but that doesn't matter anymore. I would give this a -infinity/5 and an infinity/5 at the same time, but for the real rating, they both clash. I'll be optimistic and give it a 3/5. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out of my weirdest review yet.

Comments

Jeez, this song is catchy.

Also, Desiigner isn't that bad of a rapper, I have to admit. Even though he repeats the hook 4 times, you can't help but admire how well it fits the beat. - SwagFlicks

His flow, as I said, is pretty great. - WonkeyDude98

ProPANDA approves of this message - ProPanda

Pandapandapandapandapandapandapandapandapanda

I got broads in Atlanta - WonkeyDude98

I got frogs in Atlanta. - AlphaQ

I like this song. The rap flow is good. - Mcgillacuddy

We agree on a lot... - WonkeyDude98

Kung fu panda lollololol - Therandom

He can't even touch his toes... - WonkeyDude98

noose - Puga

King FU Panda. GGRRRA - AlphaQ

I have no opinion on this song. Like, it literally does nothing to me. It's just kinda there. - visitor

This should be the theme song of King Fu Panda 4 - AlphaQ

Do One For Friends By Blake Shelton - VideoGamefan5

I Give It -1/10 - AlphaQ

po - PeeledBanana

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