Billboard Top 20 RANKED: February 10, 2018WonkeyDude98 My last Top 20 ranking didn't go HQ. Oh well.
I wasn't gonna make this, but I have collaborated with fellow RYMers and Twitter users King of the Void and GibbyDaGib to rank this top 20... that I actually kind of like?
The BLEACH Tier
20. "tHuNdA!" by Fantasize Komodos
Well, this is still here. Not too much to say that I haven't said already: it's a grating, phoned-in, passionless shell of a song from a band of has-beens. I just want this to LEAVE ALREADY.
The SCRUB Tier
19. "OOOOOOOOOOOOOH" by Mostly Palone
...this wasn't in the top 20 last time, even though that was the first week of 2018 that it wasn't in the top 20. That was a month ago. Why? Who would ever want to listen to this? Post Malone should never try to croon, this low-fi production is some of the least listenable stuff I've heard from the trap genre, and the confused melodrama of this song makes me sick. Terrible, and also this is over a year old.
18. "Walking and Also Talking" by Migos ft. Drake
When I first went to listen to this, I was just expecting something supremely mediocre and boring, which this still is coming from two of my most dreaded artists in music. What I didn't expect was it to also be ungodly invasive and annoying. Seriously, anyone who can listen to that hook and not want to just punch Quavo in the mouth and tell him to shut up, I commend you.
The BAD Tier
17. "Christian Rap lol" by Hopsin
I still can't process the fact that an NF song has been in the top 20 for nearly two months. I pretty much just remember him as the one guy so aggressively woke that even the Rap Critic despises him. At least his flow is better than anything off of Revival...
16. "Wishin' and Wishin' and Wishin' On Me" by Reggie COUZ
Yay... Drake is back. At #1. Debuting there, mind you. I LOVE SPOTIFY
The MEH Tier
15. "Thinking Out Louder" by KESHA DESEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERVED!!!
Everyone keeps talking about how this song is a sincere, sweet little ballad, and I just don't see it. Pretty much the only reason anyone calls this not completely hackneyed is because it's by Ed Sheeran, who is so overwhelmingly dorky that he seems to take nearly everything he says with a straight face. Also Kesha deserved.
14. "Sam Hunt Jacks It To The Video" by Bebe Rexha & Two States Just South of Wonkey
This is one of those weird pop country messes that I'm not sure what to think about. On one hand, that's one helluva hook. On the other... actually that's it. Everything else about this is misshapen, heavy-handed, and even though I'd rather this in the top 10 than the earthly Satanic ritual "Body Like A Back Road", that's not a compliment.
13. "Hot Sauce" by C Major ft. Azzerz
This song doesn't exist. That's not a plot twist, it just flat out doesn't.
12. "Michigan" by Female-Dog Who Made New Americana
I liked this song at first, I thought it was really catchy and for some reason I like that melody and the post-chorus added in later choruses. Then I heard that awful wallowing sub-bass running through most of the song and how it clashes with the key pinging... yeah I can't unhear that. Oof.
11. "Say Something" by A Great Small World
Hey, Chris Stapleton has a top 10 hit!...and it's by far his worst song yet! There's just nothing to this besides Stapleton; the lyrics inherently dig themselves a hole of platitude-ism, and the music just isn't interesting. This is probably Justin Timberlake's best single since "Suit & Tie", but considering its competition is the mediocre "Mirrors", "Filthy", and "Supplies" or the outright awful "Not a Bad Thing" and "Can't Stop the Feeling", not saying much.
The DECENT Tier
10. "rerock the stars" by Leon DeChino ft. Jazzy Eff
I've seen this song show up on a lot more worst lists than I expected. But that's probably as many worst lists as it deserves. Why I continue to like this is a mystery.
9. "RotomDork" by Reggie COUZ
Cardi B still destroys everyone else on this.
8. "To Gag" by An OT5 for Fifth Harmony
Sam Smith needs to fire his writers,
The GOOD Tier
7. "McDonald Nuggets" by Migolos
This is by far Migos' best song, with a good beat and a really nice hook. And I have nothing more to say about it.
6. "LEVEL OF VIOLENCE." by Kenwizzle ft. Zallama
I'm probably not as wild about Kendrick reigning the charts as I should be, but that's probably because I'm the only person in the world who doesn't like "HUMBLE.". Eh, whatever, this song is good enough. If we're gonna give Kendrick Lamar any big radio it, it might as well be this one.
5. "Me and Other Person" by WHITE BOY WHITE BOY ft. Halsey Steinfeld
...I have some explaining to do, don't I? I've heard comparisons to "Bad Things" made here, but there's a few key differences. A. This doesn't sample and bastardize Fastball. B. The production here has (marginal) energy. C. G-Eazy is just boring instead of incompetent like Machine Gun Kelly. D. This isn't trying to be kinky and failing. E. Halsey is remotely listenable, unlike Camila Cabello. F. Last and yet most... THAT POST-CHORUS IS GORGEOUS OH MY GOD.
The GREAT Tier
4. "The Color in Living" by Brunyes Jupiter ft. Cardi B
Everyone has been so quick to call this a pop savior classic in the vein of "That's What I Like"... you know what I'll give "Finesse" this it's ABSOLUTELY better than the other song. It's a great new-jack swing throwback with a ton of groove and personality. However, does anyone remember the album version? The one where the awful lyrics had no opposing side and rendered the song just decent? But don't worry, Cardi B absolutely makes up for it because this is her best verse to date--
3. "No Limit" by Usher ft. Young Thug
--ah crap. Do I like G-Eazy? The answer is... no lol because this song would be #1 without him.
2. "Don't Pick Up the Phone" by Don't Let Him In
I've seen this get slandered so much on Twitter for no real reason. This is a borderline perfect pop song and should be regarded as a Charli XCX-level cult classic.
1. "Issa Classic" by Queen of the Void
"Havana" went to #1 just for a week, as if it's the "Starboy" of 2018. I can now die in peace.
So yeah the top 20 is actually remarkably solid right now! Despite there being a multitude of awful lying just below, I can breathe at least for a little while. 52/100, which is actually the best I've gotten since winter 2016! Although to be fair it only beats winter 2017 by one point and it's only slightly above what's technically average, so I'm staying wary. But until then, this is WonkeyDude98, and check out this video:
Does that mean you like A$AP Rocky? - RecklessGreed
yepyep - WonkeyDude98
Yay we're safe...Until NBTS,YMIE,Narcos, LMG and a whole load of bad songs enter the top 20. - ReltihFloda
Narcos and You Make It Easy really aren't bad songs though... - WonkeyDude98
Is this let me go slander - ProPanda
Didn't know what LMG stood for. That song's great! - WonkeyDude98
19. I Fall Apart
18. Walk It Talk It
17. God's Plan
15. Too Good at Goodbyes
14. Let You Down
13. Meant to Be
12. Bartier Cardi
11. Say Something
10. Him and I
9. Bad at Love
7. Motor Sport
6. Stir Fry
5. New Rules
4. No Limit
Total: 48/100...I think... - DCfnaf
Cool. Nice post, I also like how you have Him & I at 5th place. - visitor
BANANA OOH NAH NAH - AlphaQ
Gummo at #1 for sure. It easily beats Pink Floyd and Beatles. It’s a masterpiece. - Not_A_Weeaboo