WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: Love Me

That isn't the full title of the song. The title is actually B****es Love Me.

I don't know jack about Lil Wayne. The best I can describe him as is a five-foot, walking, talking iguana man. His appearance has always given me the creeps, and his music hasn't helped that much. Despite his awesome contributions in Forever, Look At Me Now, and especially No Love, he hasn't really had a great hit on his own.

2013 pretty much sank Wayne to rock bottom. This song especially. So, let's get on it, Love Me by Lil Wayne, Drake, and....Future.

So we start with Future sing-rapping. The fact that he's pretty much mumbling is a double-edged sword: on one side, you can't hear what he's saying, but on the other, you don't have to deal with his nonsense. Then Drake says, "Long as these ******s love me (x2), I could give a **** about no hata long as my ******s love me." Notice the utter lack of energy in both the lifeless production of Mike WiLL Made-It and in their voices. Drake doesn't sound confident as his lyrics would portray him to be, he sounds desperate and scared.

Then the beat pumps and we get Lil Wayne. I'm not even going to go lyric by lyric because they are all interchangeable. Let's just look at a few. "She said, 'I never wanna make you mad/I just wanna make you proud'/I said, 'Baby just make me c**/Then don't make a sound". Does that sound healthy? It sounds gross and abusive. Who thinks that is a good relationship? Another one, "She don't want money/She want the time we could spend". Get this, Lil Wayne, do you think she'd care about you if you weren't a multi-millionaire? "These h**s love me like Satan/F*** with me and get bodied/And all she eat is ***k/She's on a strict diet". They love you like Satan? Dude you're trying too hard to do wordplay. I won't get bodied if I mess with you, not even all the women you have would give you enough courage to put up a fight. Also, how gross can you get?

If there was one good lyric in the song, it would be this: "Yeah all my ******s love me/And I love all my ******s/But it's like as soon as I c**/I come to my senses". Not only is there decent wordplay, there's also the feeling he did something wrong. But this is swamped by the rest of the song, which is completely filled with gross lyrics, awful relationships, and also more gross lyrics.

The worst parts are 1) Mike WiLL Made-It's lifeless production fails miserably to match Lil Wayne's pleasure, the beat actually sounds depressing, especially approaching the chorus. 2) The chorus is possibly the worst payoff to ever exist against a crescendo, if there was even one on this.

The video. It literally portrays women in cages like circus animals, and them with these old helmets that people used to put on women when they talked too much. Classy, Wayne. All three also look like utter creeps.

This was short, but there's really nothing to say about this absolute monstrosity. My verdict is a -1/5 no question. Lil Wayne, go home. And never come back. As for Drake, I feel betrayed by this. As for Future, you should've just never picked up a career in music.


Probably gonna remake this, if not just because there are so many things I forgot to point out, or pointed out too vaguely. - WonkeyDude98