Track-by-Track review of SremmLife

WonkeyDude98
I hate myself. I made myself do this. Now I have to go track-by-track on the worst album I've ever heard.

Lit Like Bic: This one is just more generic than anything. It's faults apply across the entire album, so it doesn't really stand out. -4/5

Unlock the Swag: ...you can't unlock the swag, Swae Lee and Slim Jimmy, you have no swag to unlock. This hook is really jarring, with Swae Lee squawking "UHHLAAWWK DA SCHWAAG DA SCHWAAG UHHLAAK" like a strangled parrot choking on a rock. The beat doesn't help either. There's very little to it except a bouncing sound similar to Like a G6 (except it's slower...and sticks out more) and this falsely imposing choir. It makes the song creepy and weird to listen to. -5/5

No Flex Zone:
...ah that big hit for no reason except Vine. Compared to the rest of the album, this actually isn't so bad. It's faster than a lot of the album and has this keyboard/synth that helps give the song color (shame it plays THE SAME FIVE NOTES THE ENTIRE SONG). Besides that, Swae Lee is actually more annoying on this than he is most of the album, and the lyrics fall into three categories: incompetent ("Swae Lee, Lee Swae same difference/H2O, lean, same thing), generic ("free everybody in the chain gang", "five chains on") to contradictory ("no flex zone, they knoow better", "went shopping, could've bought a island"). -4/5

My X:
This album went from awful to worse fast. They repeat the phrase "My Ex" 64 times, not including the verses. The melody is this warped glasshouse that plays the same two notes the entire song, and every 20 seconds they play this awful screeching synth that I guarantee, someone has gone deaf from. The lyrics are generically spiteful and contradictory, and the "YOU SHOULDA HAD A CHECK B***H" thing gets annoying fast. The backing vocals are annoying and abused, and they are at the peak annoying on this album, especially Slim Jimmy. This is easily the worst song on the album. -5/5

This Could Be Us:
Like Lit Like Bic, This Could Be Us is a more generic, forgettable kind of awful, nothing really to say. -4/5

Come Get Her:
The hook is awful, with the generic "steal yo girl" lyrics and nothing more. The song itself is pretty much white noise without the combination of sounds. The beat is this oily synth and windy bassline, it gives this song this weird barnyard-ish feel, but is too slow to be any fun. -5/5

Up Like Trump:
You'd think with a song as bad as Come Get Her, you'd have nowhere to go but up. Nope! For some reason, they put a piano in the beginning which foreshadows the same melody played the entire song, and then there's this squeaky, squealing chiptune, it just makes the song grating and sloppy. For some reason Slim Jimmy was more annoying than Swae Lee this song. That shouldn't happen. There a lot of embarrassing moments in this song, such as rhyming "up" with "Russia". The song's concept is just awful. Idolizing Donald Trump? Funny, he's actually better than you both lol. -5/5

Throw Sum Mo: Where...do I even...begin. How about that drowned out keyboard line that plays the same notes over and over in the same eighth note pattern the entire song? The sluggish tempo which makes the song incredibly dull and uninteresting? Rhyming "buy her" with "while"? Talking about buying women? The utter narcissism? Young Thug and Nicki Minaj being the good parts of this song? Reducing Nicki to a hook where she sounds as bored as the song is of itself? There are many places to begin. This isn't the worst song on the album, just the slowest and most boring. It reaches new boundaries of boring. -5/5

YNO: I know I've said this before, but seriously, why does that synth sound like that? No one wants to hear sluggish farts being played at three notes the entire song! This does have the best verse on the album (term used loosely) from Big Sean, I'll give it. Everything else is just...ugh. Also, "YNO" stands for "young n***as on". This isn't the worst song on the album, just the creepiest. -5/5

No Type: Oh yeah that other big hit. The beat is literally not there. Honestly, this is one of the best songs on the album. The flows and vocals aren't good (still awful), but they're probably the best on the album. Still gotta take points off for the hook though: "I don't got no type/Bad b***hes is the only thing that I like". -4/5

Safe Paychecks: Very easily the best song on the album. It's not good, but it has vigor, it's fast, and it's fun. It's still generic and sleazy, but honestly not terrible. 2/5

So almost an hour of Chinese water torture, and nothing comes out of it but a migraine. I give this album a -1 out of 10 with no recommendation. It's a pathetic piece of trash that doesn't warrant anything productive or meaningful. And before you go whining in the comments, "it's supposed to be fun club music", I judged it by that. For literally every track. It doesn't work. A lot of the songs are too slow and creepy to be any fun, and it's just a mess of an album that fails in every aspect. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out.

Comments

Pen Reviews told me all I need to know about these twits - bobbythebrony

Best album ever. - visitor

Yepyep - WonkeyDude98

Lol everything's -5/5 and -4/5 except for Safe Sex Pay Checks. - AlphaQ

Eh, No Type is the strongest tied with SSPC because Swae Lees flow was good and the beat wasn't too bad so I'll give it that. - AlphaQ

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