Top Ten Songs Which Should Have Been Written About Erectile Dysfunction

Britgirl
This list is not supposed to be "dirty" or "offensive" it's just another list. If you are without a sense of humour, visit another list. However, if you don't take things too seriously and DO have a sense of humour, stick around and add / vote as you wish.

The Top Ten

1 Going Down - Freddie King

Down to Sweatspot, Tenn'see, was a dense young fella everybody called Punch Boy. Ran the elevator at Fulkerson's Famous Friendly Flop 'n' Rooftop Ginseng Gardens. Dullard got more facial rearrangement than Joanie Rivers an' ol' Burt the Bandit 'tween. Come from askin' the wrong ol' boys if they was going' up an' what floor they'd like to git off. Topped it with did they "need their luggage handled." The monkey never learns.

2 Badly Bent - King Biscuit Boy

I swear, Doc, it was all a big misunderstanding. I thought she was havin' a seizure, so I held her down. Who knew she was married to a blacksmith?

3 I Can't Get No Satisfaction - The Rolling Stones

Oh really that's a surprise I thought is about lack of attention of somebody's personality not somebody's libido which thanks to this list! - Kevinsidis

4 Little Willy - Sweet

Ain't the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog...
Yeah, well - whatever gets a Yorkie through the night.

5 You Can't Always Get What You Want - The Rolling Stones

Used t'know a guy we called Lonesome Lucius. Boy was so butt-ugly, we'd tell him he couldn't get none with a $50 bill an' a note from his mama. Found out how wrong we was when years later his mama told us t'call her Madam. An' here we was thinkin' he had nine sisters.

6 Don't Let Me Down - The Beatles
7 All the Small Things - Blink-182
8 Gone Dead Train - Randy Newman
9 Embarrassment - Madness
10 Did I Shave My Legs for This? - Deana Carter

Haha! Thank you, MT! - Britgirl

The Newcomers

? 19th Nervous Breakdown - The Rolling Stones
? You've Lost that Lovin' Feelin' - Righteous Brothers

Try switchin' t'boxers. Everybody gotta breathe.

The Contenders

11 Soft - Kings of Leon
12 The Soft Parade - The Doors
13 If I Had a Hammer - Peter, Paul & Mary
14 Brass in Pocket - Pretenders

No cash, just brass in pocket... Hmm...as soon I saw you I could tell at a glance you were hard up. - Britgirl

15 Hit the Road Jack - Ray Charles

As luck would have it, it nearly do.

16 Wishin' and Hopin' - Dusty Springfield
17 Busted - Ray Charles

Haha! Nice to see at least one other person on here has a sense of humour! - Britgirl

18 Been Down So Long - The Doors
19 It's Now or Never - Elvis Presley
20 Puff the Magic Dragon - Peter Paul & Mary
21 Where's My Sex? - Weezer

If you gotta ask, Weezer, you might need a tweezer.

22 The Size of Matter - Watchtower

Size matters to Weezer, "The Tweezer" Boy. - Britgirl

23 Frustrated - The Knack

With a lack of "the knack" you WOULD be frustrated! - Britgirl

24 Disappointment - The Cranberries
25 Disappointed - Morrissey
26 From Can to Can't - Corey Taylor, Dave Grohl, Rick Nielsen & Scott Reeder
27 You Talk Too Much - Joe Jones
28 Hang on Sloopy - The McCoys
29 Get on Up - The Esquires
30 (We Ain't Got) Nothin' Yet - The Blues Magoos

"One day you're up and the next day you're down..."

31 It's Your Thing - The Isley Brothers
32 Easy to Be Hard - Three Dog Night
33 The Chokin' Kind - Joe Simon
34 Come Together - The Beatles
35 Gimme Dat Ding - The Pipkins
36 It Don't Come Easy - Ringo Starr
37 Whatcha See is Whatcha Get - The Dramatics
38 Hold Your Head Up - Argent
39 Right Place, Wrong Time - Dr. John

Better'n right time, wrong place. Could get ugly.

40 I'm Down - The Beatles
41 Funky Worm - The Ohio Players
42 Don't Call Us, We'll Call You - Sugarloaf
43 Get Up and Boogie (That's Right) - Silver Convention
44 Couldn't Get It Right - Climax Blues Band

Ironic.

45 Drunk Again - Paul Butterfield Blues Band

Too much alkyhol kin be a distinct impediment to the bediment; a roadblock to the hard rock; a deflator of the pumpogator; a real skunk in the bunk... or so I've heard.

46 Back in the Saddle Again - Gene Autry
47 I Can't Come! - The Snivelling S***s
48 Celebration of the Lizard - The Doors

Fella down the road turned allergic to fur (a prickly problem it's own self). So he sold his hounds 'n' catch dogs, an' got hisself a big ol' iguana. But one day, the critter started stumblin' 'n' floppin', runnin' into walls, an' chokin' on its mangoes. So he brings the ailin' lizard down to ol' Doc Gelder, who prescribed Viagra. Yup... It was a reptile dysfunction.

Fella down the road turned allergic to fur (a prickly problem its own self:). So he sold his hounds 'n' catch dogs, an' got hisself a big 'ol iguana. But one day, the critter started stumblin' 'n' floppin', runnin' into walls, an' chokin' on its mangoes (now, now). So he brings the ailin' lizard down to ol' Doc Gelder, who prescribed Viagra. Yup... It was a reptile dysfunction.

49 Under Pressure - Queen
50 Mama Told Me Not to Come - Boogie Nights

WAAAY too close to yo' mama, boy.

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