Top Ten SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes


The Top Ten

1 "Is Mayonnaise an Instrument?" - Patrick - Band Geeks

Patrick's naive stupidity is so great, one of the show's best quotes besides when SpongeBob tries to say hash slinging slasher and butchers it tremendously

This is one of my favorite quotes, IT'S SO FUNNY! Should stay number 1 forever. - TopTenJackson

Is mayonnaise an instrument? No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument. Horseradish is not an instrument either.

Great Iconic Memreable.

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2 "I love you" - Patrick - Chocolate With Nuts

Yes, the mayonnaise quote is great, but I think that it is a little overrated and undeserving of the top spot. This quote was just so funny though. - RalphBob

Ahahaahahaah. Good one Patrick! - TopTenJackson



3 "What? What did he say!?" - Mayble's Mother - Chocolate With Nuts

My sister and mom always laugh at the end of Chocolate With Nuts because of the ending. - TopTenJackson

4 "CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Tom - Chocolate With Nuts

Chocolate guy has the best line ever

This one is pure gold.

5 "My Leg!" - Fred - Every time Fred gets hurt

That is so funny! - TopTenJackson

Iconic catch phrase


6 "Is this the part where we start kicking?" - SpongeBob - Band Geeks

No SpongeBob, that's a chorus line - Squidward. - Catacorn

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7 "I am 100% ma-male" - SpongeBob - Pre-Hibernation Week
8 "Once I met this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy." - Spongebob, The Camping Episode

Who knew this guy's cousin... - RockStarr

IS you STUPID? That them there is the realest quote of the time, of all time up inadadadahere!

9 "You should switch it to Wumbo" - Patrick - Mermaid Man And Barnacle Boy IV

Brilliant Take it to the Bank Patrick! - Curti2594

I wumbo you wumbo he she me WUMBO the study of WUMBO wumboing its first grade SpongeBob

Wumbo. it was coined by Frankie J. Wumbo in the early 1960s, meaning "The best quote."

10 "East? I thought you said 'weast'." - Patrick - Arrgh!

The Contenders

11 “Is Mayonnaise An Instrument?” - Band Geeks, 2001 - Patrick “Is Mayonnaise An Instrument?” - Band Geeks, 2001 - Patrick
12 “Finland!” - Frankendoodle, 2002 - Patrick
13 "You Don't Need a License to Drive a Sandwich." - SpongeBob - The SpongeBob Squarpants Movie

I laughed so hard on that one!

14 "Who you callin' Pinhead?" - Patrick - Survival of the Idiots

How is this just not higher, I'm pretty sure this is better than #9 - McKing1003

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15 "I'm sorry sir, but my sensors indicate that you are indeed a weenie" - Robot Weenie - No Weenies Allowed
16 "Patrick Screams" - Patrick - Band Geeks

That part happens when Sandy turns Patrick into a trumpet. - TopTenJackson

17 "No, this is Patrick!" - Patrick - Big Pink Loser
18 Does this look unsure to you? - Squidward - Just One Bite
19 "Nobody calls me tubby!" - Patrick - No Weenies Allowed
20 “Who You Callin’ Pinhead” - Survival Of The Idiots, 2001 - Patrick
21 “Whoever’s The Owner Of The White Sedan, You Left Your Lights On.” - Band Geeks, 2001 - Patrick
22 "Too bad that didn't kill me" - Squidward - Band Geeks
23 "With cheese Mr. Squidward. With cheese." - Mr. Krabs - The Spongebob Squarepants Movie

A hundred and one dollars for a Krabby Patty?

24 "Finland!" - Patrick Star - Frankendoodle

Laugh out loud This made me laugh so hard

Where does Patrick even get Finland from THERE UNDERWATER!

25 F is for friends who do stuff together. - SpongeBob - F.U.N.
26 “That Was A Circle. It Has To Be An Oval.” - The Camping Episode, 2004 - Spongebob
27 "We'll it may be stupid, but it's also dumb!" - Patrick Star, The Camping Episode

Don't know what this means. Don't think I WANT to know what this means. But, whatever this means... It can't be good. Which is why I laughed so hard at this.

29 "He's Squidward, he's Squidward, you're Squidward? I'm Squidward! Are there any other Squidwards I should know about?" - Patty - Opposite Day
30 "BIG. MEATY. CLAWS!" - Shark guy - Band Geeks

The shark guy's name is actually confirmed to be Harold. - Goatworlds

Well these claws aren't just for attracting mates.

No people, let's be smart and bring it off.

Bring it on old man, bring it on!

31 "Heart on stick must die!" - Patrick Star, Valentine's Day
32 “If I Hear The Bikini Bottom Municipal Anthem, I Can’t Help But Take Off All My Clothes And Dance Around In My Underwear.” - Little Yellow Book, 2013 - Squidward
33 "Hello. I like money" - Eugene H Krabs - The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
34 "I Hate All of You" - Squidward Tentacles - Karate Choppers
35 "Nosferatu!" - Spongebob, Squidward, and Hash Slinging Slasher - Graveyard Shift

IS you STUPID. THat them there is the best quote of all the time inanadadadhere!

- John Lennon

36 Have you finished those errands? - SpongeBob - Squid's Day Off
37 Liar! Liar! Plants for hire! - Patrick - Life of Crime
38 Ya! Buns and thighs! - Random German Guy - Life of Crime
39 “I’ll Have You Know I Stubbed My Toe Last Week While Watering My Spice Garden, And I Only Cried For 20 Minutes.” - No Weenies Allowed, 2002 - Spongebob
40 "Noooo! My name's not Rick!" - Patrick Star - The Fry Cook Games


41 "The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma." - Patrick - The Secret Box

This takes the cake. Hilarious!

42 "Thats his eager face." - Squidward Tentacles. Band Geeks
43 Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end. - Patrick - Something Smells

My friend and I love this quote

44 You know what's funnier than 24? 25. - Spongebob - New Student Starfish
45 “Squidward Smells...Good” - Sailor Mouth, 2001 - Spongebob
46 VICTORY SCREECH! - Spongebob - The Algaes Always Greener
47 If I were to die due to the carelessness of a friend, well that would just be ok - SpongeBob - Dying for Pie

I love how squidward doesn't tell SpongeBob what happens

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48 This is a hotel? - Patrick - Krusty Towers

This is a hotel?

This is a hospital? - mattstat716

49 Where's the leak, ma'am? - Patrick - Frankendoodle

Yaas. this is top ten material

50 Soiled it! Soiled it! Soiled it! - SpongeBob - The Algae's Always Greener
51 Nice ******** day! - SpongeBob - Sailor Mouth
52 "Hey would you keep it down in there? I'm trying to concentrate" - Guy who looks like a hand - Greasy Buffoons

This is actually from Model Sponge, not Greasy Buffons.

53 Sorry about the scabies - On the Cake

That is funny. Did you know that Casey Alexander came up with that joke? On his Twitter, he said that it came from his personal experience with scabies when he was ten. - Murvine_Taylor

54 LEDALEDALEDALE! - Patrick - Shanghaied
55 "Imaaagination." - SpongeBob - Idiot Box
56 "The lid" - Spongebob - The Pink Purloiner

No. That's from Big Pink Loser

57 "I can't see my forehead." - Patrick - Pretty Patties

My friend and I say it ALL THE TIME

58 "Fine dining and breathing are all I know how to do." - Spongebob - Squilliam Returns
59 "Why must every 11 minutes of my life be filled with misery? Why?!" - Squidward - Club Spongebob

They broke the fourth wall with this one. The show typically lasts 11 minutes per episode.

That line just makes me want to sing the song "Misery," by Maroon 5. - Murvine_Taylor

60 Isn't that right, Janet? - Marty - I'm With Stupid

You bet, Marty!

61 Uh, stupid? - Patrick - Texas
62 "I'm ready!" - Spongebob

Come on, this is SpongeBobs best quote, he says it in at least a 1/5 of his episodes

63 "The Money Is Always Right" - Eugene H Krabs - Krusty Krab Training Video
64 "You can't fool me! I listen to public radio!" - Squidward Tentacles - The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
65 "Hey, that looks like Squidward." (Angry mob runs past) "Hey, that looks like Squidward in angry mob form!" - Spongebob - Squidtown
66 "Now That We're Men!" - SpongeBob and Patrick - The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
67 "Worship the Magic Conch!" - SpongeBob - Club SpongeBob
68 "Nobody! Not even… Squidward's house." - Patrick - The Secret Box
69 "MY EYES!!" - Random Guy - The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
70 Look Gary, dubloons. Don't drop them. - Spongebob - Gary Takes a Bath
71 The only way out is through the perfume department! - SpongeBob - Shanghaied


72 Knowledge cannot replace friendship! I prefer to be an idiot! - Patrick - Patrick SmartPants
73 Square, the shape of evil! - Plankton - The Fry Cook Games
74 All right! Enough of the sappy talk! Open the door so I can strangle you! - Tattletale Strangler - SpongeBob Meets the Strangler
75 SpongeBob, we're not animals. We have technology! - Patrick - Wet Painters
76 OVERTIME?! - SpongeBob - Rock-A-Bye Bivalve
77 You like Krabby Patties, don't you, Squidward? - SpongeBob - Just One Bite
78 He was number one! - SpongeBob - One Krab's Trash
79 Patrick Isn't Drowning!!!!! - SpongeBob - SpongeGuard On Duty
80 Let's take Bikini Bottom, and push it somewhere else! - Alaskan Bull Worm

The episode is called Sandy, SpongeBob, and the Worm

81 WAAAAAAIITOOOR!!! - Spongebob - The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
82 Am I a pretty girl? - Spongebob - One Krabs Trash

SpongeBob you look like a girl in that hat... Am I a pretty girl

83 "Look at it!" - Patrick - Something Smells
84 "Sandy's a girl?" - Patrick - Pressure
85 "I don't need it." - Spongebob - Tea at the Treedome
86 "We're on a baby hunt. And don't think we don't know how to weed 'em out." - Thug Tug Owner - The Spongebob Squarepants Movie
87 "The maniac's in the mailbox!" - Patrick - Hall Monitor
88 "Happy Leaf Erickson's Day! Arringa dinga dorgan!" - Spongebob - Bubble Buddy
89 "HOOPLA!" - Hoopla Fish - The Krusty Krab Training Video
90 "I'm Dirty Dan." - Spongebob and Patrick - Survival of the Idiots
91 You're playing with a hairdryer? - Squidward - Squidville
92 That's when I punch him, right? - Patrick - I Had an Accident
93 "Gary, you are going to finish your dessert and you are going to like it!" - Spongebob - Dying For Pie
94 "That's not what I meant you barnaclehead!" - Squidward - Dying For Pie
95 Remember, licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets - Spongebob - One Krabs Trash
96 I'm ugly and I'm proud! - SpongeBob - Something Smelly
97 Wee-woo, Wee-Woo. WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO, WEE-WOO! - Patrick - Hall Monitor
98 I smell the smelly smell of something that smells smelly - Mr Krabs - Help Wanted
99 Hey Patrick, I Heard There Was a Job Down at the Pet Shop, As Some Newspaper! - Squidward- Naughty Nautical Neighbors
100 Are you feeling it now Mr.Krabs? - Spongebob - Mid Life Crustacean
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List Stats

300 votes
149 listings
4 years, 29 days old

Top Remixes (7)

1. “Is Mayonnaise An Instrument?” - Band Geeks, 2001 - Patrick
2. “Finland!” - Frankendoodle, 2002 - Patrick
3. “Who You Callin’ Pinhead” - Survival Of The Idiots, 2001 - Patrick
1. "CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Tom - Chocolate With Nuts
2. "What? What did he say!?" - Mayble's Mother - Chocolate With Nuts
3. "Is Mayonnaise an Instrument?" - Patrick - Band Geeks
1. "Is Mayonnaise an Instrument?" - Patrick - Band Geeks
2. "I love you" - Patrick - Chocolate With Nuts
3. "Is this the part where we start kicking?" - SpongeBob - Band Geeks

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