Best Squidward Tentacles Quotes On SpongeBob SquarePants

The Top Ten
1 I order the food, you cook the food, the customer gets the food. We do that for forty years and then we die.

That's true on many levels.

Its just a stupid bolder!

This is my Dad’s favourite quote!

"And then we die” is the best part

2 Too bad that didn't kill me

I think we all feel like this sometimes. Especially his fellow food service workers...

Anyone could say this is a perfect catchphrase

That was so funny

So fun

3 Okay, new theory. Maybe we should play so quietly, no one can hear us.

Well maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if some people didn't play with their big meaty claws.

Hilarious quote

4 If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have I'd have one dollar

This quote is said in the episode "Naughty Nautical Neighbors" during when Squidward is destroying SpongeBob and Patrick friendship.

I feel like Squidward had a stroke.

5 I hate all of you.

I love that one.

Sandy: I love Karate
SpongeBob: I love Kara-TAY
Mr. Krabs: I love MONEY-AY
Squidward: I hate all of you
Relatable and funny

So relatable!

6 You can't fool me I listen to public radio

Squidward is a liberal?

What’s that supposed to mean?

7 No Patrick, mayonnaise is not an instrument...

Horse radish is not an instrument either.

This is the best line from patrick

This quote is pretty iconic

Neither is Horse Radish

8 The 1st place Snail Racing cup presented to Squidward... TORTELLINI?!

I laughed so hard because of this

Will he ever win?

Will I ever win?

9 When I die, you stay away from my funeral

This is the best.

Horrible, Putrid!

10 Future! Future!

Squidward: Future!, Future!. Spongetron: drops a brick on his head

This should be #1 in the Future! Future!

The Contenders
11 I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me.

Probably not

12 I feel like a... I feel like a...*donkey noises* big jerk!

The thing is, it's not really funny to me, but it's one of the things that shows that although SpongeBob annoys Squidward a lot, the cephalopod does care for his bro deep down inside.

Had a hint of Tom and Jerry in that one.

What have I done to poor Spongebob?

"I wonder what's inside. Probably a jelly fish or an old krabby patty or...HIS FAVORITE UNDERPANTS!
This part KILLED ME, I had to rewind it so many times because I was laughing so hard

13 Patrick go be stupid somewhere else!

Uh uh uh Squidward

14 Spongebob isn't here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here

Sometimes, I really don't get his quotes

Squidward was so happy

15 Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent.

We understand you have a dying animal on the premises

Poor Squidward

16 One - I hate you. And two - how can that be me when I' m standing right here!?

Lol. Spongebob doesn’t think,does he?

17 I'm not rushing perfection, I'm rushing you!

Yes I'm a diva miss Marilyn Monroe

Well, I guess it's true...?

18 Oh no he's hot!!

Imagine him in his underwear

19 Welcome to the Krusty Krab, where the Clock of Evolution ticks backwards.

My dad died when he heard this

De-evolution is probably real.

This was Restraining SpongeBob, right?

20 I have no soul
21 Just do me a favor and stop doing me favors!

Isn't that a favor?

Oh the irony!

22 Please come again... when I'm not working
23 Does this look unsure to you?

That FACE he made killed me-lol

24 We serve food here, sir.

I'll take a double triple bossy deluxe on a raft animal style. extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it SWIM.

Squidward is such a savage that THAT same quote was on a roast compilation

Dang dude, you are a legend! Get your own show! Please!

25 I'm a winner, see my prize! You're a loser who sits and cries!

That is awesome! I'm gonna have to say that some time!

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