Best Stewie Griffin Quotes

The Top Ten

1 Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma! ... Hi

This quote is too funny.

2 How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on?

3 What the deuce?

This phrase defines Stewie!

4 Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Laugh out loud rofl lmao THIS IS FUNNY

5 Victory is mine!

6 What do you say to that broccoli? ... Stop mocking me!

7 Just me and mah pubes...haaaaaangin' out

That is so wrong yet so funny

8 Hey Brian, did you ever have your balls just...just hanging out

That kid is a mastermind...

9 Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.

10 Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.

The Contenders

11 Cool Whip

12 Hey, have you gone yet? Have you popped your butt cherry?

13 How dare you reduce my finely-hewn thespian style into mere Mother Gooseries?

14 I don't like change!

15 Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez moi pancakes! Click-click bloody click PANCAKES!!!

16 Hey B-roni, take my chevy to the levi but the river is Bri..

Laughed my ass off first time I heard this on Family Guy

17 I just took a leak in your car. Happy Father's Day.

18 Nic Nac Paddy Whack, Give a Dog a Bone

19 Walk right in, sit right down, Stewie's gonna make you the fool

20 I'm dating one of the Kardashians.

21 Given my genetic makeup, it's amazing I'm not fatter and more stupid.

22 And then I think to myself, "My God, wouldn't it be marvelous if I turned out to be a homosexual?".

23 Say, Brian, I know you're a dog, but you're a pretty cool cat

Stevie just said that

24 How the hell did I get stuck with you losers?

25 Ever notice how much I resemble mom's personal trainer?

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