Best Stewie Griffin Quotes


The Top Ten

1 Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Lois! Mom! Mom! Mom! Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Mama! Mama! Mama! Ma! Ma! Ma! Ma! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mum! Mummy! Mummy! Mumma! Mumma! Mumma! ... Hi

This quote is too funny.

This Is So Funny - RockStarr

2 How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on?
3 What the deuce?

This phrase defines Stewie!


4 Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Laugh out loud rofl lmao THIS IS FUNNY

5 Victory is mine!
6 What do you say to that broccoli? ... Stop mocking me!
7 Just me and mah pubes...haaaaaangin' out

This is EPIC!

That is so wrong yet so funny - RockStarr

8 Hey Brian, did you ever have your balls just...just hanging out

That kid is a mastermind... - RockStarr

9 Hey, mother, I come bearing a gift. I'll give you a hint. It's in my diaper and it's not a toaster.
10 Damn you, vile woman! You've impeded my work since the day I escaped from your wretched womb.

The Contenders

11 Hey, have you gone yet? Have you popped your butt cherry?
12 Cool Whip


13 How dare you reduce my finely-hewn thespian style into mere Mother Gooseries?
14 I don't like change!
15 Yo quiero pancakes! Donnez moi pancakes! Click-click bloody click PANCAKES!!!
16 I just took a leak in your car. Happy Father's Day.
17 Nic Nac Paddy Whack, Give a Dog a Bone
18 Walk right in, sit right down, Stewie's gonna make you the fool
19 Hey B-roni, take my chevy to the levi but the river is Bri..

Laughed my ass off first time I heard this on Family Guy - westofohio

20 I'm dating one of the Kardashians.
21 Given my genetic makeup, it's amazing I'm not fatter and more stupid.
22 Say, Brian, I know you're a dog, but you're a pretty cool cat

Stevie just said that - westofohio

23 How the hell did I get stuck with you losers?
24 Ever notice how much I resemble mom's personal trainer?
25 Good luck guessing where I hid your heart medication
26 My therapist and I had a really great conversation about you.

I say that to my boss...

27 I'll be home late. I have an Al-Qaeda sleeper cell meeting.
28 I found the ghastly video tape of my conception in your closet.
29 Why can't you get a show at 10pm like Leno?
30 The life of the wife is ended by the knife
31 Hold the pickles! God help you if I find pickles!
32 Yes please! But no sprinkles for every sprinkle that I find I shall kill you!

That quote made me laugh. 😂

33 Hi!
34 I spit in your mouth when you sleep!
35 Nothings says obey me like a bloody head on a fence post!
36 She needs to get laid, big time
37 Who the hell do you think you are?!
38 Oh, bloody hell! Is this thing still on?
39 Are her parents brother and sister?
40 You can't hurt anyone anymore!
41 What the deuce are you staring at? It's tuna fish. And nothing else!
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