1 Hey Officer! That guy just stole my marijuana!!
I need to get high so I can go to the strip club and rape some girls after hours!
2 I am going to go molest this girl. Can you hold her down for me please?
Some will, some won't :P - Ananya
3 Can I borrow some money please? I need to buy some drugs.
4 I just stabbed somebody. Can you go get my fingerprints off of the knife please?
5 Wanna go help me rob this bank together? We can split the cash!!
I think they would.
And we can be best buddies in prison as well! - TwilightKitsune
6 I'm high.
*Interrupted by Breaking News bulletin on Police Time T.V.*
"And news just in. A man was admitted to hospital today after a gunman, high on crack, shot him in the a*s ehole. Police are now looking into it..." - Britgirl
7 By the power of the moon I shall punish you
8 Yo, man! Do you have an Ash-Greninja that you can trade to my pirated copy of Pokemon Sun And Moon?
Only if you have Zygarde Complete. - HeavyDonkeyKong
9 Welcome to my world bitch
10 Get out of my face
11 Kiss my butt
Ok, that's funny.
12 My slave just ran away! i need you to catch him!
13 I'm thinking of murdering my wife. Do you know a spot where nobody else but me will hear her screams?
14 I stole this car, but I just dropped the keys. Can you please help me find them?
Police your in jail you say why police no talking
15 Bite me
16 Do you know any tips on how to rob a bank?
First, call 911 and tell them what you're doing. Second, activate the alarm. Third, sit there.
17 I'm a Special Snowflake, and you are Triggering me with your Microaggressions!
18 Sorry for drivin' too slow, officer, but when you're drunk you gotta be careful!
19 Leave me alone
20 Oh thank you very much! That's terrific! The last cop only gave me a warning too!
And the last one, and the last one, and the one before that, and the one 5 cops ago. -Me
21 If you weren't a cop I'd be raping you right now
22 I have a gun. Here, let me show it to you
You could get in very severe trouble
What do you mean you thought I'd shoot you and thus you shot me?
23 What happened was I reached down to pick up my bag of crack but then my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the gas and brake pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
24 You're under arrest
I think they'll just laugh and take out the handcuffs..For ya - Ananya
25 F*** Tha Police!
26 Damn Daniel
ESPECIALLY WHEN THERE IS A COP NAMED DANIEL! HE WILL KILL YOU IN THE BLINK OF AN EYE!
27 I'm going to go koopa troopa on you
28 I'm going to go knuckles on you
Ugandan knuckles even
DO U NO DE WEY?
29 I'm going to go Spartan on you
THIS IS SPARTA - yungstirjoey666
30 I'm sorry officer for speeding, but without my glasses I can hardly see the speedometer.
31 I shot the sheriff and I shot the deputy!
32 You can't arrest me, I'm in my "Safe Space" right now
Haha the simplicity and the cheek of this is so funny :D - Britgirl
33 I have weed in my pocket
34 Do you have weed?
35 Say it loud. I'm black and I'm proud...
36 I have a gun and I am going to shoot you
Surest way to get shot. - sprotz
37 Hey, I'm out of money can I have your money please?
That would be just ridiculous 🙃
38 Isn’t there a donut shop you should be going to right about now?
39 F**k you I will kill ya
42 Kill Yourself